I’ve hardly heard from my kid since I dropped him off

[Anonymous]

My DS has been there two days and he texts me when he's going to bed - which has been relatively early even though his days have been action packed. I love it LOL

My DD I rarely hear from, which bums me out because we are very close, but i also know this about her. When she's not home, she is not often on her phone and she is present in the room at whatever she is doing.

Once they settle into normal life, i'm sure we will have more of a schedule of check ins but this is fine. It's their life to live!

[Anonymous]

I was happy as a clam and was surprised when my parents chastised me about never calling. We decided I’d call every Saturday late morning, and I stuck to it. This means your son is doing well. Be pleased for him.

Also be aware that this is the start of him becoming an adult; he will manage his family and friend relationships the way he wants to, ultimately. You might expect daily texts; he may prefer a once a week phone call. When he graduates, you will be exactly half of an adult relationship, and be careful that you don’t pout, whine, manipulate and generally make yourself into a duty rather than a connection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once a week ? I still call my mom twice a day and I’m almost 40

Google enmeshed relationship

Yours is not normal

[Anonymous]

We always joked that our dining hall served steak at Sunday dinner because all the parents called on Sunday night. So all the moms could ask “What did you have for dinner tonight?”, hear “steak,” and feel happy knowing their precious child was being well taken care of.

[Anonymous]

I only hear from my DS when he is hurt or needs money. Occasionally he sends me a funny meme.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he's doing well. But I think texting him to check in is totally reasonable. We dropped off DS on Monday and I did not expect to hear from him or contact him until the weekend but he did happen to call Tues night because he wanted his sister to pick up something from the HS. It was definitely a big relief for me to hear that he's settling in well.

A regular weekly call, at a time he says works for him is not an unreasonable expectation. Some kids communicate more and some less. There's no one right cadence. I've never been a talk-on-the-phone person and my mom says when my sister and I were in college that she'd know something was not right with me if I started calling home a lot while she knew there was an issue with my sister if she *stopped* calling.