I’ve hardly heard from my kid since I dropped him off

[Anonymous]

Once a week ? I still call my mom twice a day and I’m almost 40

[Anonymous]

OP, it's normal. And healthy. And you did a good job. And yeah, it hurts. I really didn't expect the emotional wallop to be so big, but it was.

[Anonymous]

Is this normal? A good sign?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once a week ? I still call my mom twice a day and I’m almost 40

Are you a woman? Then yes, that makes sense. Other than my sister and her 26-year-old son, who talk several times a day, I don't know many men who speak to their mothers more than once a week. It's just how it is. I think my sister's relationship with her son is whacko. So does her husband. I say this as a mom whose son is leaving for college tomorrow--so I suppose I could think differently later.

[Anonymous]

We have a family group text to keep connected with news and whatever.. College age kids are not used to talking on the phone and they have little privacy in the dorms. Most of the calls I seem to get is while they are walking somewhere at random times.

[Anonymous]

Do I wait for my child to call or do I call?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do I wait for my child to call or do I call?

Text and ask them when would be a good time for a call each week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it's normal. And healthy. And you did a good job. And yeah, it hurts. I really didn't expect the emotional wallop to be so big, but it was.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once a week ? I still call my mom twice a day and I’m almost 40

Me too, and my older brother, too.

[Anonymous]

I do think it's a good sign. These early days are so busy with scheduled activities and trying to make friends, I'd give him a pass and chalk it up to that he's having fun and doing well.

[Anonymous]

Glad that he is so engaged and not moping.
You should have set my up a communication plan in advance, so everyone had the save expectation (i.e., so you would not worry or feel hurt).

I suggest you text him casually asking if you can schedule a phone call this weekend (let him choose the time). Tell him it is just because you are excited for him and would love to hear how things are going.

In your phone call, ask him what routine would work out: my daughter calls me each weekend, at the day and time that fits best for her schedule.

She often texts or sends pictures during the week, but I put no pressure on her for more than we have agreed upon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do I wait for my child to call or do I call?

Text and ask them when would be a good time for a call each week.

I agree. I never just call, particularly during the day when he could be out and about somewhere. If I need to talk, I text and say "hey, when can I call you to talk about X."

I think the first week or two is a rush of activity and the kids are just trying to settle in. He may chat more regularly later, but give him a bit of breathing room and feel good about the fact he isn't calling you.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. I'm really bad at this. I'm trying to only check in periodically, but once I send a text, I can't stand it if I don't get a response back right away. I hope it is a good sign and that he's out and busy making friends.

[Anonymous]

+ one million

You are not alone. I dropped my son off Wednesday.

[Anonymous]

Our dd calls frequently but just to share something exciting about a teacher or school event. We don’t pry into her life. We do have a family group text that we’ve had for many years which includes her older siblings. That is used frequently by all and makes for good comedy given the age differences.