It's funny how so many are quick to tell a woman not to be picky about looks

[Anonymous]

^^^

Men and Women Misperceive What the Opposite Sex Finds Attractive

Participants were... presented with an image of the same-sex body and were asked to adjust BMI and body fat percentage to reflect their own body shape, their ideal body shape, and the body shape that a heterosexual opposite-sex individual would find most attractive for short-term and long-term relationships," the researchers described. "When presented with opposite-sex bodies, participants were asked to, again, adjust BMI and body fat percentage to reflect their own preferences in an opposite-sex body for short-term and long-term partners.

Xue and Perrett found that women overestimated men's preference for thinness in female partners. At the same time, men overestimated women's preference for muscularity in male partners. (See figure above.)

Though the differences were slight, this is still good news. It suggests that men and women cultured to Western norms of ideal bodies do not desire as stringent a standard of attractiveness as most of us think

Men's and women's body dissatisfaction is associated with what they perceive the opposite-sex prefer. Therefore, correcting misperceptions of opposite-sex preferences might help to prevent and treat eating disorders or body dissatisfaction among young men and women," the authors write.

https://www.realclearscience.com/quick_and_clear_science/2020/06/01/men_and_women_misperceive_what_the_opposite_sex_finds_attractive.html

The article also has a visual chart of what men vs women find attractive. Maybe someone can post the image. I can not seem to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^

Men and Women Misperceive What the Opposite Sex Finds Attractive

Participants were... presented with an image of the same-sex body and were asked to adjust BMI and body fat percentage to reflect their own body shape, their ideal body shape, and the body shape that a heterosexual opposite-sex individual would find most attractive for short-term and long-term relationships," the researchers described. "When presented with opposite-sex bodies, participants were asked to, again, adjust BMI and body fat percentage to reflect their own preferences in an opposite-sex body for short-term and long-term partners.

Xue and Perrett found that women overestimated men's preference for thinness in female partners. At the same time, men overestimated women's preference for muscularity in male partners. (See figure above.)

Though the differences were slight, this is still good news. It suggests that men and women cultured to Western norms of ideal bodies do not desire as stringent a standard of attractiveness as most of us think

Men's and women's body dissatisfaction is associated with what they perceive the opposite-sex prefer. Therefore, correcting misperceptions of opposite-sex preferences might help to prevent and treat eating disorders or body dissatisfaction among young men and women," the authors write.

https://www.realclearscience.com/quick_and_clear_science/2020/06/01/men_and_women_misperceive_what_the_opposite_sex_finds_attractive.html

The article also has a visual chart of what men vs women find attractive. Maybe someone can post the image. I can not seem to do it.

The differences are actually pretty tiny. It is not like men prefer a BMI of 30 and women think they need to be at 20 to be attractive. The differences they found would be hard to discern in real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband freely admits he was looking for someone attractive and I freely admit that I was looking for someone with the potential to make a good income. We also just truly enjoy one another and want the same things out of life. Together 20 years and married for 17. What’s the issue?

The issue is that you are both superficial and most people don’t aspire to that but I’m glad you found each other and it works out.

Eh. Better looking people have more choices. That’s just life. They can afford to be pickier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^

Men and Women Misperceive What the Opposite Sex Finds Attractive

Participants were... presented with an image of the same-sex body and were asked to adjust BMI and body fat percentage to reflect their own body shape, their ideal body shape, and the body shape that a heterosexual opposite-sex individual would find most attractive for short-term and long-term relationships," the researchers described. "When presented with opposite-sex bodies, participants were asked to, again, adjust BMI and body fat percentage to reflect their own preferences in an opposite-sex body for short-term and long-term partners.

Xue and Perrett found that women overestimated men's preference for thinness in female partners. At the same time, men overestimated women's preference for muscularity in male partners. (See figure above.)

Though the differences were slight, this is still good news. It suggests that men and women cultured to Western norms of ideal bodies do not desire as stringent a standard of attractiveness as most of us think

Men's and women's body dissatisfaction is associated with what they perceive the opposite-sex prefer. Therefore, correcting misperceptions of opposite-sex preferences might help to prevent and treat eating disorders or body dissatisfaction among young men and women," the authors write.

https://www.realclearscience.com/quick_and_clear_science/2020/06/01/men_and_women_misperceive_what_the_opposite_sex_finds_attractive.html

The article also has a visual chart of what men vs women find attractive. Maybe someone can post the image. I can not seem to do it.

The differences are actually pretty tiny. It is not like men prefer a BMI of 30 and women think they need to be at 20 to be attractive. The differences they found would be hard to discern in real life.

IRL men and women with BMI 30 plus are dating and getting married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband freely admits he was looking for someone attractive and I freely admit that I was looking for someone with the potential to make a good income. We also just truly enjoy one another and want the same things out of life. Together 20 years and married for 17. What’s the issue?

The issue is that you are both superficial and most people don’t aspire to that but I’m glad you found each other and it works out.

NP here but I don't view that outlook as superficial. Everyone has standards for looks, class/income etc. The pp just set hers a little higher. These are just baseline standards in addition to being compatible in other ways. Nothing wrong with that.

yes, and those standards are superficial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Incels aside, most men are willing to compromise on looks/weight because reliable access to sex is a higher priority than waiting around for a model.

Women are more likely to be okay with being single unless/until they find someone who ticks all the boxes.

Hate to admit it, but I agree.

I agree but because they are looking for a nurse mommy figure to take care of them. forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Incels aside, most men are willing to compromise on looks/weight because reliable access to sex is a higher priority than waiting around for a model.

Women are more likely to be okay with being single unless/until they find someone who ticks all the boxes.

Hate to admit it, but I agree.

Yep. Me too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I definitely wanted a good-looking guy. I got a good-looking guy. We have beautiful children, as adults. In reality, good-looking people have it easier.

Same. I don't know why I was superficial like that but if I'm going to spend the rest of my life with someone, I want to be attracted to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband freely admits he was looking for someone attractive and I freely admit that I was looking for someone with the potential to make a good income. We also just truly enjoy one another and want the same things out of life. Together 20 years and married for 17. What’s the issue?

The issue is that you are both superficial and most people don’t aspire to that but I’m glad you found each other and it works out.

Eh. Better looking people have more choices. That’s just life. They can afford to be pickier.

Right. And Jeff Bezos is such a handsome devil.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP makes a good point. I don’t think that men are never told to settle on looks but if they are it’s very subtle (just general “make sure you’re going for women in their league) and it happens way more to women. “Lose weight” is the very first thing a lot of people say.

Or get contacts, straighter your hair, wear such and such outfit. She's also told, go out with the nerdy guy, with the glasses, who may be a little short, or a little overweight, and bald with balls stle, but he's super sweet and will make a great husband and father.


Meanwhile when was the last time you heard a guy being told to date the super tall girl, or the flat-chested girl, or the chubby nerdy girl with thinning, or curly frizzy hair and glasses with bad style because she has a good heart and will make an awesome wife and mother?

Yep. I have never seen somebody tell a guy guy he should be open dating to the chubby girl with frizzy hair.

Have you never gone out and public and looked at the couple out there? Open your eyes and you’ll see that men don’t need to be told that.

So the hot guys or slightly above average men, or even the average looking men are dating the chubby and frizzy haired girls in droves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Incels aside, most men are willing to compromise on looks/weight because reliable access to sex is a higher priority than waiting around for a model.

Women are more likely to be okay with being single unless/until they find someone who ticks all the boxes.

Hate to admit it, but I agree.

Yep. Me too.

That's because the 4 of you are incels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Incels aside, most men are willing to compromise on looks/weight because reliable access to sex is a higher priority than waiting around for a model.

Women are more likely to be okay with being single unless/until they find someone who ticks all the boxes.

Hate to admit it, but I agree.

Yep. Me too.

That's because the 4 of you are incels.

The first post was mine & I’m a married woman. Where is the lie?

[Anonymous]

Not true. Most women end up with averaging guys as well, but they get told they have to go for the guys they aren't really attracted to ie the bald guys, the short guys etc.

Most women end up with average-looking guys because most women are average-looking. The idea that every woman (no matter how attractive she is) deserves a prince charming is a hallmark of American society. How many movies do we see where the dumpy nerd girl ends up with the handsome high school quarterback because he realizes that *she* is the one for him, instead of the beautiful head cheerleader.

Whereas no one ever tells guys to go for the equivalent in women Average attractiveness is okay for guys, but if a woman wants the same thing, she's told her expectations are unrealistic and she needs to settle

Everyone takes what they can get. If you deserve an attractive man, you will get one based on your level of attractiveness. Market supply and demand apply here as these forces to other places. Other factors do come into play (see: batshit craziness); however, the law of supply v. demand still plays an important part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think OP makes a good point. I don’t think that men are never told to settle on looks but if they are it’s very subtle (just general “make sure you’re going for women in their league) and it happens way more to women. “Lose weight” is the very first thing a lot of people say.

Or get contacts, straighter your hair, wear such and such outfit. She's also told, go out with the nerdy guy, with the glasses, who may be a little short, or a little overweight, and bald with balls stle, but he's super sweet and will make a great husband and father.


Meanwhile when was the last time you heard a guy being told to date the super tall girl, or the flat-chested girl, or the chubby nerdy girl with thinning, or curly frizzy hair and glasses with bad style because she has a good heart and will make an awesome wife and mother?

Yep. I have never seen somebody tell a guy guy he should be open dating to the chubby girl with frizzy hair.

Have you never gone out and public and looked at the couple out there? Open your eyes and you’ll see that men don’t need to be told that.

So the hot guys or slightly above average men, or even the average looking men are dating the chubby and frizzy haired girls in droves?

This whole thread is about being told to not be so picky. The hot men can afford to be picky and still have relationships. The average men tend to pair up with average women. As for the chubby/frizzy hair women, think about all the parents' at your kids school and marvel that some of them found anyone to love them, yet they did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband freely admits he was looking for someone attractive and I freely admit that I was looking for someone with the potential to make a good income. We also just truly enjoy one another and want the same things out of life. Together 20 years and married for 17. What’s the issue?

The issue is that you are both superficial and most people don’t aspire to that but I’m glad you found each other and it works out.

Eh. Better looking people have more choices. That’s just life. They can afford to be pickier.

Right. And Jeff Bezos is such a handsome devil.

Well obvious Jeff Bezos doesn't need to be good-looking. Although I think Lauren Sanchez is hideous personally.

But for guys with a solid upper middle class income, it helps if they are also decent looking. For women if they are good looking and also kind, the income is irrelevant to a lot of men. My husband certainly didn't marry me thinking I'd make him wealthy.