Single mom of teens vs 58 year old bf’s request for attention

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it odd that you could be in love with a man who doesn't understand why a mom would prioritize her children over her boyfriend.

Well, I fell in love with him before I knew he'd be such a jealous baby. But he is truly EXCELLENT (I'm talking first place and I am an experienced woman ) in bed, a great cook, intellectual, very handsome, can swing a hammer and land an airplane, and an all-around lot of fun. Who wouldn't fall in love with him?! But as he's gradually increased his fussing, I've gradually become less "in love", if you will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think these responses are based on very little information.

It does sound like he does not have a very high priority in your life - you said as much.

Maybe he wants more, which is fine. It just means you don't want the same things.

He's fifty nine. Plenty of women around his age and even younger don't have kids at home. He should break up with you and try to date them if he wants something more serious.

He is "next in line" after my kids and not losing my rather demanding job. However, I just had not ranked these obligations in a comparative sense so I was perplexed by the premise that "he comes second". I didn't think of them as competing, but sort of co-existing. Yes, I agree at 59 he is looking to retire soon, move to the beach etc. I am still in full-speed-ahead mode. Maybe a nice retired 60yo woman who can tend to his every need would be better for man-baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hypothetical question, in a marriage, do you ladies think kids come first, or spouse? Bc if any woman is not willing to put their spouse first, it is going to cause a problem, and even though BF is not a spouse, if she aspires to have one, this issue is going to arise. There are not a lot of men who will tolerate being second to kids, especially someone else’s kids, once married.

In marriage, kids and spouses are a triad- all have to be taken care of equally for the family to flourish.

In second marriage or boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, kids first, then BF/GF, by a lot.

I think married Dads get this, but boyfriends/stepdads do not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hypothetical question, in a marriage, do you ladies think kids come first, or spouse? Bc if any woman is not willing to put their spouse first, it is going to cause a problem, and even though BF is not a spouse, if she aspires to have one, this issue is going to arise. There are not a lot of men who will tolerate being second to kids, especially someone else’s kids, once married.

In marriage, kids and spouses are a triad- all have to be taken care of equally for the family to flourish.

In second marriage or boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, kids first, then BF/GF, by a lot.

I think married Dads get this, but boyfriends/stepdads do not.

I would add this is only true for minor children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hypothetical question, in a marriage, do you ladies think kids come first, or spouse? Bc if any woman is not willing to put their spouse first, it is going to cause a problem, and even though BF is not a spouse, if she aspires to have one, this issue is going to arise. There are not a lot of men who will tolerate being second to kids, especially someone else’s kids, once married.

In marriage, kids and spouses are a triad- all have to be taken care of equally for the family to flourish.

In second marriage or boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, kids first, then BF/GF, by a lot.

I think married Dads get this, but boyfriends/stepdads do not.

This is the right answer.

[Anonymous]

You sound awful, he's better off without you. Release him from the dreadful burden of being around you.

[Anonymous]

He has unrealistic expectations and his fussing isn’t fair to you.

I’d stick to my very clear boundaries, you should prioritize the needs of your growing children over another adult, and let him know his complaining is getting to you.

If he wants to be someone’s #1 at all times he can find another partner. Hopefully he is able to respect your role as a mother so you can continue dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound awful, he's better off without you. Release him from the dreadful burden of being around you.

Awful how?

[Anonymous]

I'm also a single mom, my kids are high school and college-aged. That would be a deal breaker for me.

[Anonymous]

Get rid of the man baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm also a single mom, my kids are high school and college-aged. That would be a deal breaker for me.

Do you have a BF/partner/SO? How do you manage one another's needs "to feel loved" important a priority, etc? Is one of your more demanding than the other?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get rid of the man baby.

But he's so so good in bed. Not that easy to find, at this point, which I do appreciate when my kids are with their dad and I am not swamped at work and the dishes are done etc etc...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound awful, he's better off without you. Release him from the dreadful burden of being around you.

Dreadful burden? He is asking for more of my time/attention- he is loving when his feelings aren't hurt. I'd love to give him more attention, but after I get kids from soccer and dinner is done and the homework is turned in, etc. Right? I mean, wth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get rid of the man baby.

But he's so so good in bed. Not that easy to find, at this point, which I do appreciate when my kids are with their dad and I am not swamped at work and the dishes are done etc etc...

Your kids don't deserve this bullsh*t attitude of yours, where sex and flying airplanes and swinging a hammer is more important than them. Can't you string him along as a friend with benefits occasionally until your kids are grown and then you can prioritize him all you want. Or maybe let them live with their dad while you bang this awesome guy? Just some thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it odd that you could be in love with a man who doesn't understand why a mom would prioritize her children over her boyfriend.

Well, I fell in love with him before I knew he'd be such a jealous baby. But he is truly EXCELLENT (I'm talking first place and I am an experienced woman ) in bed, a great cook, intellectual, very handsome, can swing a hammer and land an airplane, and an all-around lot of fun. Who wouldn't fall in love with him?! But as he's gradually increased his fussing, I've gradually become less "in love", if you will.

He’s becoming an old man and wants to slow down. You’re in your prime. If you do want to play nursemaid ditch him. It’s only downhill from here.

After your kids go to college he’ll be complaining that holidays are all about them. People like your boyfriend only get worse with age.