Question for dual working parent families

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He sleeps in until 8-815 on weekdays, in a home where both parents work? I'm not sure if he could be any more selfish, assuming no sleep/health issues.

To add, if he "needs" 90 minutes to work out then he should get up at 5 or 6am to take care of it before the kids get up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, because

1. We both just keep doing whatever needs to be done until nothing more needs doing. So if I'm folding laundry DH is putting it away or if he's washing dishes I'm sweeping the floor
2. Seems like that would lead to hurt feelings. And based on your post - it has for you.

I think this is the best way to do it with daily tasks, you are both either actively taking care of kids or doing housework until the kids are asleep and the house is clean (however you define that).

I think the issue is that OP’s husband is getting home from work exhausted because he stayed up too late, then spent his lunch hour working out. So he just wants to sit and do nothing for an hour.

Op here. He’s not getting home from anywhere… he’s WFH. I’m the one with the long commute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, because

1. We both just keep doing whatever needs to be done until nothing more needs doing. So if I'm folding laundry DH is putting it away or if he's washing dishes I'm sweeping the floor
2. Seems like that would lead to hurt feelings. And based on your post - it has for you.

I think this is the best way to do it with daily tasks, you are both either actively taking care of kids or doing housework until the kids are asleep and the house is clean (however you define that).

I think the issue is that OP’s husband is getting home from work exhausted because he stayed up too late, then spent his lunch hour working out. So he just wants to sit and do nothing for an hour.

Op here. He’s not getting home from anywhere… he’s WFH. I’m the one with the long commute.

Ok. So, he finishes work and just relaxes/does nothing until you get home with the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does a working adult with kids have 5-6 hours of free time? Is that even possible? Does he do nothing with the kids/no chores?

I'm divorced so I do 95% of the household chores (kid does a tiny amount) and 50% of the childcare and it feels like so much less than I did when I was married.

OP here:

1 hour of workout over lunch
1-1.5 hours of sitting on his butt after work
3-4 hours after DC goes to bed

I wouldn’t count the lunch hour workout..but he just hangs out after work while you do what? He hangs out for an hour before he picks up DC? He watches DC while you make dinner? If he’s just hanging out can’t he make or pick up dinner or do daycare pickup? Why does he have 3-4 hours of free time after dc goes to bed - are you logging back on to work? Btw, that is how it is for my DH and myself - I log back on and he doesn’t, but I normally make us do chores before…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does a working adult with kids have 5-6 hours of free time? Is that even possible? Does he do nothing with the kids/no chores?

I'm divorced so I do 95% of the household chores (kid does a tiny amount) and 50% of the childcare and it feels like so much less than I did when I was married.

OP here:

1 hour of workout over lunch
1-1.5 hours of sitting on his butt after work
3-4 hours after DC goes to bed

I wouldn’t count the lunch hour workout..but he just hangs out after work while you do what? He hangs out for an hour before he picks up DC? He watches DC while you make dinner? If he’s just hanging out can’t he make or pick up dinner or do daycare pickup? Why does he have 3-4 hours of free time after dc goes to bed - are you logging back on to work? Btw, that is how it is for my DH and myself - I log back on and he doesn’t, but I normally make us do chores before…

NP. Eh, I don't need the minute details here -- it's obvious that there is an unfair imbalance in OP's home. OP, you got the venting done here on DCUM. Now go have a civilized conversation with your DH and make some changes. Otherwise the resentment, bitterness (and exhaustion) will just grow.