Flying with screaming kids

[Anonymous]

I hate flying with misbehaving, screaming, etc. children and I have an elementary school aged child and have flown with her during baby and toddler years. We usually fly back forth to the west coast, so long flights. I found toddler years to be the most difficult. And I am 1000% in OP's camp. What works for me is to book our seats so that either my husband or myself was sitting in front of one of our seats so that our daughter would kick the back of our seat and not somebody else's. That drives me nuts. If I am by myself, I ask the people in the row ahead of us directly if seat kicking will bother them and if there is a seat kicking objector I ask the flight attendants to help me change or them, whatever is easiest. If no change can be made, which has happened only once, I tell the objector to tell me when it gets really bad and then I start buying rounds of drinks. I have a portable DVD player, crayons, coloring books, small toys, and then I spend the entire flight watching Brother Bear, coloring, playing with polly pockets, etc. After a certain age, we took the red eye flight back from the west coast and let her fall asleep in the airport, carried her on board and let her sleep the whole way. By the end of the flight my arm is purple and I have to pee really bad, but totally worth it. When she acts up, I give her the mom look of death and my tone changes so she knows to settle down.

On one flight, I had my then toddler who did well. She had some momentary upset because of some turbulence and cried pretty hard I think because she was frightened. I got her settled down as quickly as I could and explained to my surrounding passengers that I thought she was frightened. People seemed to understand. Beyond that, she drew, watched a movie, talked non stop, played, we took a couple of aisle walks and all was fine. There was another child on the plane whose parents allowed the child to run up and down the aisle, stand up in the seat and throw things at the passengers in back and in front of them, had green slimey snot running down his face which he wiped off with his hand and then onto his pants, the seats, arm rests, etc. One parent was asleep and the other was oblivious watching a movie, reading a magazine, doing absolutely nothing to manage their child. I had my own toddler to deal with and I was totally annoyed by this kid and the poor parenting. It was hilarious when we were leaving the plane people were walking by us and smiling at my daughter and saying good bye. No one said a word to the other family. I felt a little bad for them at that point like maybe they had never flown before and were overwhelmed. At the baggage claim the other mom said something snide to me like, "it must be nice not to have to deal with your kid the entire flight." I was incredulous. And I said back to her, "No. I DID deal with my kid the ENTIRE flight as did my husband. That's why it went better for us than for you and your husband." She looked like I had slapped her, but that is the attitude that I think the OP is objecting to -- just acting like it is magic when kids behave and not putting in the work before hand and during the flight to make it happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate flying with misbehaving, screaming, etc. children and I have an elementary school aged child and have flown with her during baby and toddler years. We usually fly back forth to the west coast, so long flights. I found toddler years to be the most difficult. And I am 1000% in OP's camp. What works for me is to book our seats so that either my husband or myself was sitting in front of one of our seats so that our daughter would kick the back of our seat and not somebody else's. That drives me nuts. If I am by myself, I ask the people in the row ahead of us directly if seat kicking will bother them and if there is a seat kicking objector I ask the flight attendants to help me change or them, whatever is easiest. If no change can be made, which has happened only once, I tell the objector to tell me when it gets really bad and then I start buying rounds of drinks. I have a portable DVD player, crayons, coloring books, small toys, and then I spend the entire flight watching Brother Bear, coloring, playing with polly pockets, etc. After a certain age, we took the red eye flight back from the west coast and let her fall asleep in the airport, carried her on board and let her sleep the whole way. By the end of the flight my arm is purple and I have to pee really bad, but totally worth it. When she acts up, I give her the mom look of death and my tone changes so she knows to settle down.

On one flight, I had my then toddler who did well. She had some momentary upset because of some turbulence and cried pretty hard I think because she was frightened. I got her settled down as quickly as I could and explained to my surrounding passengers that I thought she was frightened. People seemed to understand. Beyond that, she drew, watched a movie, talked non stop, played, we took a couple of aisle walks and all was fine. There was another child on the plane whose parents allowed the child to run up and down the aisle, stand up in the seat and throw things at the passengers in back and in front of them, had green slimey snot running down his face which he wiped off with his hand and then onto his pants, the seats, arm rests, etc. One parent was asleep and the other was oblivious watching a movie, reading a magazine, doing absolutely nothing to manage their child. I had my own toddler to deal with and I was totally annoyed by this kid and the poor parenting. It was hilarious when we were leaving the plane people were walking by us and smiling at my daughter and saying good bye. No one said a word to the other family. I felt a little bad for them at that point like maybe they had never flown before and were overwhelmed. At the baggage claim the other mom said something snide to me like, "it must be nice not to have to deal with your kid the entire flight." I was incredulous. And I said back to her, "No. I DID deal with my kid the ENTIRE flight as did my husband. That's why it went better for us than for you and your husband." She looked like I had slapped her, but that is the attitude that I think the OP is objecting to -- just acting like it is magic when kids behave and not putting in the work before hand and during the flight to make it happen.

Wow. That was long.




What gets me is when people give me the look of death WHILE I'm trying to deal with my child. Hey, at least I'm trying.

[Anonymous]

OP is a total troll sock-puppet. But whatever. I've flown to Australia 5 times with kids 3 months, 1, 2, 3, and 4 years old. And guess what? On all those flights, plus the few I've taken within the US, I do not recall a single instance of a crying baby or disruptive toddler or child whose parent was not trying to do something to remedy the situation. I would like to hope this means there are not that many jerky parents out there. Sure, there are some (witness 16:19), but most do just fine.

And also, MYOB. Wear headphones, bring a magazine, and be glad you don't have to use all your energy entertaining and keeping small children calm on a flight.

[Anonymous]

No kidding. The one time in the last 6 years I flew somewhere without my children, I sat back completely unbothered because I wasn't responsible to do ANYTHING about the child a few rows behind me who was crying.
If I had been sitting closer, however, I would have given the mom a look of sympathy and assured her that her child wasn't ruining my flight.
News Flash, If you're a parent, your child/ren have done something in their lives that annoyed some other adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate flying with misbehaving, screaming, etc. children and I have an elementary school aged child and have flown with her during baby and toddler years. We usually fly back forth to the west coast, so long flights. I found toddler years to be the most difficult. And I am 1000% in OP's camp. What works for me is to book our seats so that either my husband or myself was sitting in front of one of our seats so that our daughter would kick the back of our seat and not somebody else's. That drives me nuts. If I am by myself, I ask the people in the row ahead of us directly if seat kicking will bother them and if there is a seat kicking objector I ask the flight attendants to help me change or them, whatever is easiest. If no change can be made, which has happened only once, I tell the objector to tell me when it gets really bad and then I start buying rounds of drinks. I have a portable DVD player, crayons, coloring books, small toys, and then I spend the entire flight watching Brother Bear, coloring, playing with polly pockets, etc. After a certain age, we took the red eye flight back from the west coast and let her fall asleep in the airport, carried her on board and let her sleep the whole way. By the end of the flight my arm is purple and I have to pee really bad, but totally worth it. When she acts up, I give her the mom look of death and my tone changes so she knows to settle down.

On one flight, I had my then toddler who did well. She had some momentary upset because of some turbulence and cried pretty hard I think because she was frightened. I got her settled down as quickly as I could and explained to my surrounding passengers that I thought she was frightened. People seemed to understand. Beyond that, she drew, watched a movie, talked non stop, played, we took a couple of aisle walks and all was fine. There was another child on the plane whose parents allowed the child to run up and down the aisle, stand up in the seat and throw things at the passengers in back and in front of them, had green slimey snot running down his face which he wiped off with his hand and then onto his pants, the seats, arm rests, etc. One parent was asleep and the other was oblivious watching a movie, reading a magazine, doing absolutely nothing to manage their child. I had my own toddler to deal with and I was totally annoyed by this kid and the poor parenting. It was hilarious when we were leaving the plane people were walking by us and smiling at my daughter and saying good bye. No one said a word to the other family. I felt a little bad for them at that point like maybe they had never flown before and were overwhelmed. At the baggage claim the other mom said something snide to me like, "it must be nice not to have to deal with your kid the entire flight." I was incredulous. And I said back to her, "No. I DID deal with my kid the ENTIRE flight as did my husband. That's why it went better for us than for you and your husband." She looked like I had slapped her, but that is the attitude that I think the OP is objecting to -- just acting like it is magic when kids behave and not putting in the work before hand and during the flight to make it happen.

You have 1 kid & you think flying to the west coast is a long flight?! You have no idea.

[Anonymous]

When I was single I traveled alot for works over many years. I had to put up with rude flight attendants, smelly passengers, fat people who sit halfway in your seat and my favorite the dorky guy who you would never speak with under any other circumstance talks to you nonstop on a 5 hour flight. The kids never bothered me, the rest of humanity drove me nuts. Airline service just gets worse and worse each year. Almost all passengers are in the worst mood of their lives after standing in ridiculously long lines, sitting on tarmacs for hours, having their flights cancelled, delayed or luggage lost, being charged for everything ( I hear you will be charged by the amount you pee in the future if they can get the tinkle sensors working) and dealing with incompetant and bitchy airport and airline staff. TSA is honestly the best part of the whole experience.

Air travel is on par with riding in cattle car, it is not a luxurious experience. If you want peace and quiet, hire a driver and take a car or book your own car on a train. Do not expect a pleasant experience on a flight and don't blame the parents with a fussy kid especially when all the adults are grumpy from being treated like shit by the airline.

[Anonymous]

PP mentioned the seat kicking. WHY do parents allow seat kicking as if they don't know it is happening right in front of them? We know you know, which makes us even more angry. Do you really want to anger your neighbor on a long flight? How do you know they won't say something to your child you would not want them to (but not enough to get the adult thrown off the plane)? Would you want to take that chance? What if the victim is more "sneaky" (not what you would call it) than you? Is that something you want to invite by being so passive aggressive?

I've gotten parents thrown off flights before and am happy to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

PP mentioned the seat kicking. WHY do parents allow seat kicking as if they don't know it is happening right in front of them? We know you know, which makes us even more angry. Do you really want to anger your neighbor on a long flight? How do you know they won't say something to your child you would not want them to (but not enough to get the adult thrown off the plane)? Would you want to take that chance? What if the victim is more "sneaky" (not what you would call it) than you? Is that something you want to invite by being so passive aggressive?

I've gotten parents thrown off flights before and am happy to do so.

It's really hard to control, short of tying their legs down to... something (?) Especially when their legs can't do anything but stick straight out and the person in front leans back. Anyway, we book our block of seats so that the likely culprit will sit behind mom or dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope, OP is not right. OP is a horrible troll who should either buy a business class ticket or stay home. Sometimes, members of the public are going to interfere with the perfect little bubble-world of zen that she has created for herself. Shudder. Maybe she could buy a paper bag to wear over her head during the flight to try to keep everything from the outside world from reaching her?

The OP has paid her dues. You are a horrible person.

[Anonymous]

I actually don't even understand why people complain because unless you fly on your own private jet, it is public transportation. Sometimes I think there is an expectation you will smother your child so as to not disrupt, inconvenience, annoy, etc. other passengers.

[Anonymous]

Ok, so how about the other side of the coin. What about us moms who travel with rather well behaved children and encounter parents who have already raised their kids but who feel compelled to touch our kids, ask our kids "won't you share that cookie with me?" and the like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate flying with misbehaving, screaming, etc. children and I have an elementary school aged child and have flown with her during baby and toddler years. We usually fly back forth to the west coast, so long flights. I found toddler years to be the most difficult. And I am 1000% in OP's camp. What works for me is to book our seats so that either my husband or myself was sitting in front of one of our seats so that our daughter would kick the back of our seat and not somebody else's. That drives me nuts. If I am by myself, I ask the people in the row ahead of us directly if seat kicking will bother them and if there is a seat kicking objector I ask the flight attendants to help me change or them, whatever is easiest. If no change can be made, which has happened only once, I tell the objector to tell me when it gets really bad and then I start buying rounds of drinks. I have a portable DVD player, crayons, coloring books, small toys, and then I spend the entire flight watching Brother Bear, coloring, playing with polly pockets, etc. After a certain age, we took the red eye flight back from the west coast and let her fall asleep in the airport, carried her on board and let her sleep the whole way. By the end of the flight my arm is purple and I have to pee really bad, but totally worth it. When she acts up, I give her the mom look of death and my tone changes so she knows to settle down.

On one flight, I had my then toddler who did well. She had some momentary upset because of some turbulence and cried pretty hard I think because she was frightened. I got her settled down as quickly as I could and explained to my surrounding passengers that I thought she was frightened. People seemed to understand. Beyond that, she drew, watched a movie, talked non stop, played, we took a couple of aisle walks and all was fine. There was another child on the plane whose parents allowed the child to run up and down the aisle, stand up in the seat and throw things at the passengers in back and in front of them, had green slimey snot running down his face which he wiped off with his hand and then onto his pants, the seats, arm rests, etc. One parent was asleep and the other was oblivious watching a movie, reading a magazine, doing absolutely nothing to manage their child. I had my own toddler to deal with and I was totally annoyed by this kid and the poor parenting. It was hilarious when we were leaving the plane people were walking by us and smiling at my daughter and saying good bye. No one said a word to the other family. I felt a little bad for them at that point like maybe they had never flown before and were overwhelmed. At the baggage claim the other mom said something snide to me like, "it must be nice not to have to deal with your kid the entire flight." I was incredulous. And I said back to her, "No. I DID deal with my kid the ENTIRE flight as did my husband. That's why it went better for us than for you and your husband." She looked like I had slapped her, but that is the attitude that I think the OP is objecting to -- just acting like it is magic when kids behave and not putting in the work before hand and during the flight to make it happen.

Wow. That was long.

And annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: If I am by myself, I ask the people in the row ahead of us directly if seat kicking will bother them and if there is a seat kicking objector I ask the flight attendants to help me change or them, whatever is easiest. If no change can be made, which has happened only once, I tell the objector to tell me when it gets really bad and then I start buying rounds of drinks.

You LET your child kick the seats in front of her?

What the hell is wrong with you woman?!?

[Anonymous]

My kid is a seat kicker. He travels in his car seat and that leaves his feet about 3 inches from the seat in front of him. If the person leans back, the feet actually touch. I take his shoes off to soften it and I try to distract him, but there really isn't much I can do to stop it. I can try to physically restrain him, but then he'd just start screaming, so pick your poison.

[Anonymous]

No one who has ever had a child and flown with them on a plane would ever post something like this. Last time I flew with my 18 month old our flight was delayed 4 hours which put us into bedtime timeframe on the flight after 5+ hours waiting at an airport. To say he screamed was an understatement. And I had bought him his own seat. At that point I honestly did not give a shit about anyone else on the plane, I was tired he was tired and I actually cried after about 40 minutes of screaming because there was nothing else I could possibly do. Finally he fell asleep, but there is nothing you can do about screaming on a plane. I mean if the parent is flat out ignoring the kid than yes, they suck. But if they are trying to console the child and nothing is helping then f-off, if you don't want to hear it then fly first-class. We have all been there, or most likely will be there someday. Flying is public, if you don't want to deal with what may be on your plane then drive.