It is fine to make plans when someone hasn’t confirmed, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:not to be snarky, but maybe she just doesn't want to make plans with you? if she doesn't make a firm plan with you, just don't follow up and don't show up

I don’t think this is it. Our kids get along well.

She ended up confirming a time and place so now we are getting ready to meet her.

I met her in a moms group pre Covid and she was always non commital back then too. Even if kids were in preschool, she would have to see if she wanted to clean the house or meet up for coffee. I didn’t think anything of it back then because a group was getting together and maybe she was coming.

OP. Sis. So...you wanted to take your kids somewhere, but since she lowered herself to hang out with you, you scrapped the plans you had for someone who couldn’t commit to the morning of?

Seriously? You actually hang out with someone who tells you she has to decide if she wants to clean the house (or scratch her arse) vs. make plans with you? WHY?

The mom’s group was an event for ~100 people and people would rsvp and come. I hosted a few coffees and she was usually a maybe. It is just how she rolls.

During Covid, we got closer. All our plans were very last minute and it was fine and I never thought anything of it because it wasn’t like we had anything else going on. We probably met once per week from May until September 2020. Now things are different as kids are back in school and have activities. Both our kids just finished preschool which was why we were planning to meet up this week.

I mean…that’s fine for something you are going to host whether she comes or not. You are clearly fine being her back up plan - if you like it, I love it.

[Anonymous]

OP, you get to decide if it works for you or not, and when. People *that* flaky drive me bonkers. I mostly like plans, and confirm a day or so in advance. We have a few friends we can be more spontaneous with, which is great when it works, and no sweat when it doesn't. But if you're at the point where you're debating whether to go on an outing with your kids (that you want to go to!), that's too much for me, personally.

So, no, you don't have to wait for her and you're not flaking out on her.