Country Club Members, Is It Worth It?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a country club membership, but the only reason I could think of to do it is if it were useful professional networking (i.e. I could see if I were a partner at a firm and membership would give me the opportunity to develop personal relationships with other people who could potential send business my way). If membership didn't contribute to the bottom line, it seems like there are much more affordable ways to cobble together the services offered via country club membership.

So this concept can work for some people. But around DC tougher than say Cleveland. Biglaw partner here and my clients are national and international. None are here in DC so no client networking. You could network with other lawyers but that would not be helpful in my practice. So I am sure this works for some but in my opinion in DC this does not happen as much.

A key to your comment is "more affordable way." If you join a club that is of little interest either because you make so much you just don't care or you do not have the time to cobble that together and then do stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This region is chock full of free public pools and awesome public golf courses. There is a cheap driving range at Haines Point, and the good public courses are 30-60 mins outside of DC.

I cannot in my wildest nightmares understand why someone would want to waste their time and money being chained to a single course with that financial commitment.

As someone who often waited on hot, outdoor lines with my young kids to get into the Banneker pool in DC while waiting on 7+ year waitlists for pool clubs, I can definitely see the appeal of a country club. DH and I don't play golf and now our kids go to sleepaway camp so we will probably never join one, but the DC public pools are no match for a country club (they don't have shade, or allow food!).

This is all true but a country club is more than just pulling all these things together. If done right, it is an extension of your home. It is part of your life. People who use clubs are there at least 4-5 times a week for something. Each member of the family is there that often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Country clubs just seem too much fraternities in college to me. Basically a lot of similar personalities and backgrounds. Fun if you fit in, maybe not as welcoming otherwise.

Trip and Buffy love it!

There is some of this but not a lot at most high end clubs in this area. Much more John, James, and William -- lawyers, doctors, executives.

[Anonymous]

I kept looking for the stables. Golf is not my thing. Otherwise I liked it.

[Anonymous]

We are not hugely into social aspects of club. We joined so dh could golf with parents and his siblings. Kids like to go to pool (mostly drop them off now that they are old enough to go alone) and we definitely used the camps a ton when kids were little. Our son is a junior golf member but rarely plays. We eat there maybe once a month in clubhouse, kids eat at snack bar all the time in summer.

[Anonymous]

I would say worth it is not really the right way to think about it. You have to weigh whether you want the majority of your social interactions to be with the same relatively homogeneous group of people. If you don't like the idea of going to the same place for most socializing and meals out, then a country club membership will not be "worth" it. Or, if you end up at a club where you don't make friends with many people, you might spend less time there and you will get less value from it.

Many families truly build their entire social stratosphere around their club. They work out, play, dine, swim, golf, play tennis, send kids to camp etc all at the club. It is a home away from home for some. Some people value that experience and find it worth the cost, others do not. My husband would find that suffocating, though I think I would enjoy many aspects.

Another thing to consider - that most CC members chafe at, but I have found it to be true when I have visited clubs throughout the region as a guest - these clubs are all incredibly white and homogenous. Sure, there may be some Episcopalians among the Catholics at one club or another where there are other minor differences, and the occasional spouse that is not white; but these are places that you join if you have no discomfort at all with living in an entirely white, exclusive community, that has a long history of ugly discrimination and exclusion that is still alive and well (a club having 5 Black members is not a welcoming and diverse place).

You join if you are comfortable with the vast majority of your child's social group to be people who look just like them because you are not concerned with them having a diverse peer group. Sending your child to a school that is diverse is not enough. Who you choose to bring into your home and spend the majority of your time with is who you are saying you value the most. This is not about having a woke, SJW mentality as a requirement for being a good person, but in general, I find that in 2021, the people who choose to surround themselves and their families in such bubbles as their primary social outlet, no matter their political stripes, tend to be those who are less concerned with such things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say worth it is not really the right way to think about it. You have to weigh whether you want the majority of your social interactions to be with the same relatively homogeneous group of people. If you don't like the idea of going to the same place for most socializing and meals out, then a country club membership will not be "worth" it. Or, if you end up at a club where you don't make friends with many people, you might spend less time there and you will get less value from it.

Many families truly build their entire social stratosphere around their club. They work out, play, dine, swim, golf, play tennis, send kids to camp etc all at the club. It is a home away from home for some. Some people value that experience and find it worth the cost, others do not. My husband would find that suffocating, though I think I would enjoy many aspects.

Another thing to consider - that most CC members chafe at, but I have found it to be true when I have visited clubs throughout the region as a guest - these clubs are all incredibly white and homogenous. Sure, there may be some Episcopalians among the Catholics at one club or another where there are other minor differences, and the occasional spouse that is not white; but these are places that you join if you have no discomfort at all with living in an entirely white, exclusive community, that has a long history of ugly discrimination and exclusion that is still alive and well (a club having 5 Black members is not a welcoming and diverse place).

You join if you are comfortable with the vast majority of your child's social group to be people who look just like them because you are not concerned with them having a diverse peer group. Sending your child to a school that is diverse is not enough. Who you choose to bring into your home and spend the majority of your time with is who you are saying you value the most. This is not about having a woke, SJW mentality as a requirement for being a good person, but in general, I find that in 2021, the people who choose to surround themselves and their families in such bubbles as their primary social outlet, no matter their political stripes, tend to be those who are less concerned with such things.

I get your point but I also feel like whenever there’s talk about people confining themselves to homogeneous situations, the onus is always on white Christians to avoid doing so or feel guilty for doing so. There are plenty of groups of POC who don’t chose to intermingle with other races or backgrounds and no one blinks an eye.

To be clear, I think diversity is good and needed but I also think there’s a double standard on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say worth it is not really the right way to think about it. You have to weigh whether you want the majority of your social interactions to be with the same relatively homogeneous group of people. If you don't like the idea of going to the same place for most socializing and meals out, then a country club membership will not be "worth" it. Or, if you end up at a club where you don't make friends with many people, you might spend less time there and you will get less value from it.

Many families truly build their entire social stratosphere around their club. They work out, play, dine, swim, golf, play tennis, send kids to camp etc all at the club. It is a home away from home for some. Some people value that experience and find it worth the cost, others do not. My husband would find that suffocating, though I think I would enjoy many aspects.

Another thing to consider - that most CC members chafe at, but I have found it to be true when I have visited clubs throughout the region as a guest - these clubs are all incredibly white and homogenous. Sure, there may be some Episcopalians among the Catholics at one club or another where there are other minor differences, and the occasional spouse that is not white; but these are places that you join if you have no discomfort at all with living in an entirely white, exclusive community, that has a long history of ugly discrimination and exclusion that is still alive and well (a club having 5 Black members is not a welcoming and diverse place).

You join if you are comfortable with the vast majority of your child's social group to be people who look just like them because you are not concerned with them having a diverse peer group. Sending your child to a school that is diverse is not enough. Who you choose to bring into your home and spend the majority of your time with is who you are saying you value the most. This is not about having a woke, SJW mentality as a requirement for being a good person, but in general, I find that in 2021, the people who choose to surround themselves and their families in such bubbles as their primary social outlet, no matter their political stripes, tend to be those who are less concerned with such things.

I get your point but I also feel like whenever there’s talk about people confining themselves to homogeneous situations, the onus is always on white Christians to avoid doing so or feel guilty for doing so. There are plenty of groups of POC who don’t chose to intermingle with other races or backgrounds and no one blinks an eye.

To be clear, I think diversity is good and needed but I also think there’s a double standard on this.

I don’t think that was a point she was trying to make but the truth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Country clubs are for the socially insecure (don’t have and can’t make friends) or status conscious people.

Eh no. Most of our friends are members but we didn’t meet them there.

[Anonymous]

If you don’t have kids, definitely join! What else are you going to do with your time and money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say worth it is not really the right way to think about it. You have to weigh whether you want the majority of your social interactions to be with the same relatively homogeneous group of people. If you don't like the idea of going to the same place for most socializing and meals out, then a country club membership will not be "worth" it. Or, if you end up at a club where you don't make friends with many people, you might spend less time there and you will get less value from it.

Many families truly build their entire social stratosphere around their club. They work out, play, dine, swim, golf, play tennis, send kids to camp etc all at the club. It is a home away from home for some. Some people value that experience and find it worth the cost, others do not. My husband would find that suffocating, though I think I would enjoy many aspects.

Another thing to consider - that most CC members chafe at, but I have found it to be true when I have visited clubs throughout the region as a guest - these clubs are all incredibly white and homogenous. Sure, there may be some Episcopalians among the Catholics at one club or another where there are other minor differences, and the occasional spouse that is not white; but these are places that you join if you have no discomfort at all with living in an entirely white, exclusive community, that has a long history of ugly discrimination and exclusion that is still alive and well (a club having 5 Black members is not a welcoming and diverse place).

You join if you are comfortable with the vast majority of your child's social group to be people who look just like them because you are not concerned with them having a diverse peer group. Sending your child to a school that is diverse is not enough. Who you choose to bring into your home and spend the majority of your time with is who you are saying you value the most. This is not about having a woke, SJW mentality as a requirement for being a good person, but in general, I find that in 2021, the people who choose to surround themselves and their families in such bubbles as their primary social outlet, no matter their political stripes, tend to be those who are less concerned with such things.

This is really, really not true. I entertain 1-2 times a week and it has zero to to with anyone I met at our CC. I have never had a family over I met at the club (though some of our friends are also members, but we met elsewhere). We have a large and diverse friend group, and our club is fairly diverse too ethnically. The club is literally just a great place to go to the pool daily in the summer (and for that it is well worth it!). Our public pools are terrible and crowded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Country clubs just seem too much fraternities in college to me. Basically a lot of similar personalities and backgrounds. Fun if you fit in, maybe not as welcoming otherwise.

Trip and Buffy love it!

There is some of this but not a lot at most high end clubs in this area. Much more John, James, and William -- lawyers, doctors, executives.

It’s 2021. At our club, there are plenty of Margarets, Elizabeths, and Catherines who are lawyers, doctors, and executives. I’m one, and I’ve been going to the club my entire life. Many women like me are the primary members in their family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This region is chock full of free public pools and awesome public golf courses. There is a cheap driving range at Haines Point, and the good public courses are 30-60 mins outside of DC.

I cannot in my wildest nightmares understand why someone would want to waste their time and money being chained to a single course with that financial commitment.

As someone who often waited on hot, outdoor lines with my young kids to get into the Banneker pool in DC while waiting on 7+ year waitlists for pool clubs, I can definitely see the appeal of a country club. DH and I don't play golf and now our kids go to sleepaway camp so we will probably never join one, but the DC public pools are no match for a country club (they don't have shade, or allow food!).

Just buy a house with a pool

[Anonymous]

We live in a va suburb and waffled on this so many times. We ended up waiting until our kids were preschool age and wish we had joined earlier. It’s so easy & we use it year round. We actually grab a meal there at least once a week all year and often do takeout. It’s so easy to meet up with friends or bring guests bc they always accommodate you so last minute brunches or whatever are easy. It’s great for holidays & we use it way more than expected

[Anonymous]

How much do they cost? What’s the average monthly or annual membership? And you don’t pay for food there?