Club career officially over

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the responses. I'm still a bit emotional about it. More than i thought i'd be.

Change is always hard. This is a big chapter being turned. It's time to let him go and hope he will fly on his own.

Any suggestions on how to handle the withdrawal while he is in college?

Is he playing in college? If so, and you can’t make a game, it’s fun to stream the games and have text conversations with friends and relatives who are also watching. If not, you may be surprised by how enjoyable it is to communicate with your kid in a new way. One of mine hates phone conversations, but is a really amusing writer—we text all the time. The other calls to talk every time there is a big basketball or soccer game on and we watch part of it together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the responses. I'm still a bit emotional about it. More than i thought i'd be.

Change is always hard. This is a big chapter being turned. It's time to let him go and hope he will fly on his own.

Any suggestions on how to handle the withdrawal while he is in college?

Really, it's more of the same just from a distance. They will still need your support and love. Most college coaches are far worse at coaching than our local club coaches--they think motivation and abuse are synonyms and their idea of strategy is kick harder and run faster. Instead of training they will work on fitness and run beep tests. Unless he is very, very fortunate he will still need your support to stay positive.

Remind him how proud you are and how much you love to watch him play. Go to games if you can. Watch them online if you can't. If your team doesn't have a parent group reach out and start one if you can. Enjoy the chances you get to watch him play.

And for those of you not yet at that point make sure you live your life in such a way that your children will want to spend time with you when they come home from college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the responses. I'm still a bit emotional about it. More than i thought i'd be.

Change is always hard. This is a big chapter being turned. It's time to let him go and hope he will fly on his own.

Any suggestions on how to handle the withdrawal while he is in college?

Thanks you for sharing. May of us will soon go through the same thoughts and feelings. Our daughter will be a U15 this coming year and those car rides are when she really opens up about soccer, friends, and life. You've given us all a reminder that we need to treasure and enjoy these moments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Son played his final game today. Heads off to college soccer this fall.

Been thinking about this day for a long time. Very bittersweet. I've loved it so much. Wanted to pass along some thoughts to everyone, especially those with younger children.

1 - Enjoy watching your kids play. Not win. Not score a goal. Of course, those things are important and to be celebrated. But honestly enjoy watching the work hard. Watch them lose and be disappointed. Give them space in those moments, especially if they're feeling responsible. They'll bounce back and play better. The easy part is being there when you enjoy the big moments. But those times of difficulty are also important to their growth as people and soccer players. i will truly miss just being at practices or games and seeing the interactions among the boys and the comraderie they developed over the years.

2 - Don't obsess over rankings. i spent hours looking at teams and rankings and trying to figure out where the club would rank and try to gauge future opponents. It's a crapshoot and I look back at the first couple of years and wonder why I spent so much time worrying about where in the top 10 in the state rankings the club would be once the latest points uploaded. Yeah, it's nice to have validation and the potential opportunities that come with it, but it's also something I totally let go of the last couple of years - even as the team continued to play in major tournaments. And you know what? Those points are about to go poof with his team being wiped off the map. You don't get to hold them. It's fleeting.

3 - If you're child isn't yet in high school, take a breath. There's plenty of time for development. Kids that were great when we started are just OK. Some that were just OK are now great. He or she has a chance to be really good if they have good ability and want to put in the work. It has to come from them. With my son, he just loved soccer. It wasn't until sophomore year he got super dedicated and started to take off. No, he didn't play for DC United or DA. But you know what? He's in a good place now and the slate has been wiped clean. Now it's up to him to take it to the next level without the parents and in a new environment.

4 - Was it all worth it? That's a great question. It was thousands of dollars and hours of time going to practices, games, tournaments, camps and school visits. I think about what I might have spent that money on. New kitchen? Nice car? IRA? In the end, he loved it, so it was worth it to me to see him enjoy the experience. I'll admit at times questioning that as he doesn't have a college scholarship from it. The secret though is that not many do as freshmen. In the end, I wouldn't trade. Maybe a few more wins. Maybe not having to deal with the politics of which there were many and the worst part about the process. But I look back with a full heart and few regrets.

Hope your road is as great for you as it was for me.

Thank you for sharing some perspective and best wishes to your son on his future soccer journey!