Do you think most spouses are intellectually matched

[Anonymous]

I'd expect most are in an SD of each other, these days. There's been a big rise in assortative mating, after all. The doctor doesn't marry his hot nurse, the teacher-because-smart-women-have-few-options doesn't marry the hunky policeman. Whether this trend is associated with a second shift, of smart people having fewer children, I do not know.

My spouse is not as smart and nowhere near as well-read as I am, but is an intriguingly lateral thinker and, due to a very different cultural background and upbringing, knows quite a few things that I don't, which keeps conversations fun.

[Anonymous]

In my experience most very smart women are married to very smart men. Not as true for the smart men.

I’m a woman, and I’m very smart. My husband is one of the few people I’ve met who I think is as smart as I am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Blow up doll" refers to what a man prizes if he values looks and ease alone. If that is what a man views what women in relationships are for, that is misogynist. Women who position themselves in the dating market in these ways are also active participants in a misogynist culture. Pointing that out doesn't make one misogynist. It makes you a critic. An intelligent critic.

Always wondered about those guys in the foreign service who married a very young east European or Asian woman.if the guy doesn't speak her language beyond a rudimentary level and she doesn't speak English, do they just not talk? Do you think that trump and Melanie had actual conversations? Was it even possible to do so?

[Anonymous]

Its really important for the type of marriage that is the full partnership. Other types of marriage its less important and that's okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience most very smart women are married to very smart men. Not as true for the smart men.

I’m a woman, and I’m very smart. My husband is one of the few people I’ve met who I think is as smart as I am.

This is not true of my observations at all. As a university professor, I have met many intelligent female colleagues with PhDs who have very basic husbands (think like, auto detailer, carpenter, etc.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my experience most very smart women are married to very smart men. Not as true for the smart men.

I’m a woman, and I’m very smart. My husband is one of the few people I’ve met who I think is as smart as I am.

This is not true of my observations at all. As a university professor, I have met many intelligent female colleagues with PhDs who have very basic husbands (think like, auto detailer, carpenter, etc.)

Just to clarify, I'm not saying there are no intelligent auto detailers or carpenters (these are just two examples of many...), just that I have met many spouses who are very average both in background and in apparent intelligence based on conversations with them

[Anonymous]

Well, if it's an old rich dude and his sugar baby, chances are they aren't intellectually matched.
The only exception that comes to mind is Melania and Donald Trump. That match was made in heaven.

[Anonymous]

Typically I think most spouses are close matches. Age and education aren't always factors for intelligence.

I have some friends who aren't intellectually matched with their DHs or DWs. I've seen it work where the DWs (in my examples) knew that they were marrying someone not as smart as they are but chose to because they have other great qualities and it was worth it and it does appear to work great. Those partnerships work well. But I do know of other partnerships where the less intelligent partner either gets a complex and/or has a hard time relating to the spouses' friend group.