Worried we (mainly Shiite) crossed boundary with nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I totally expected this thread to be about a Shiite Muslim family imposing their beliefs/practices on a Sunni Muslim nanny . A little disappointed, but now I’m also confused as to why the nanny felt the need to specifically inform the family that she had a UTI rather than just taking a sick day and why the OP similarly felt the need to specify this in the post. Seems a little TMI on both sides.

I absolutely thought history was about Shiite Muslim and “Uti” was a Shiite holiday!

I disagree with the rest of your post however as this nanny is a live-in and the cause of illness (and possible contagion) are important to disclose to the family.

That’s fair. I’m a very private person so I probably would have just assured that it wasn’t anything contagious, but I can see in the Covid era the desire to be more explicit.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here- don’t worry about it. She said she enjoyed the company = she is going the extra mile to tell you she didn’t mind! A simple apology from you is all that’s needed. We all know most DHs are clueless and I’m sure she was happy to help out while still relaxing.

[Anonymous]

I honestly wondered if a Uti was a Shiite ceremony of some sort. Thanks for the laugh.

[Anonymous]

I think it's sweet that your nanny loves your kids so much. I understand that feeling.

[Anonymous]

MB here. I’d add the hours she watched DD back to her PTO. The kids need to be kept out of the nanny’s space during her time off, period.

[Anonymous]

No biggie, unless you are Sunni? We’ve seen that blow up before.

[Anonymous]

Of course she said it’s “OK” because she probably feels like she can’t say no to her bosses, who she lives with. It’s also good that you recognize this and work with your kids and husband to enforce boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I totally expected this thread to be about a Shiite Muslim family imposing their beliefs/practices on a Sunni Muslim nanny . A little disappointed, but now I’m also confused as to why the nanny felt the need to specifically inform the family that she had a UTI rather than just taking a sick day and why the OP similarly felt the need to specify this in the post. Seems a little TMI on both sides.

Sounds like she is live in. A UTI doesn't have obvious symptoms so just guessing she wanted to be transparent.

... and in a pandemic, probably wanted everyone to be calm knowing it isn’t something contagious

Live-in here. I ALWAYS let the family know if I’m contagious, that way they keep the kids away from my space (and sometimes bring down a jug of lemon water, so I don’t come up to the kitchen).

I’m also fairly sure that OP’s nanny has looser boundaries than a live-out nanny would. Most of us truly don’t mind kids coming to see us during our time off, if we’re home. I’ve had kids come ask me to braid their hair, show me legos and pictures, ask me to play uno with them, etc. Coming down to watch the with me is less interactive than any of those.

[Anonymous]

If she doesn't want him there, she knows how to say no. Just telou child not to visit nanny when she is off duty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No biggie, unless you are Sunni? We’ve seen that blow up before.

Oof.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I totally expected this thread to be about a Shiite Muslim family imposing their beliefs/practices on a Sunni Muslim nanny . A little disappointed, but now I’m also confused as to why the nanny felt the need to specifically inform the family that she had a UTI rather than just taking a sick day and why the OP similarly felt the need to specify this in the post. Seems a little TMI on both sides.

I absolutely thought history was about Shiite Muslim and “Uti” was a Shiite holiday!

Me, too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since she is already getting paid for the day (paid sick day) I would give her pay on top of that. So let's say you pay her $20 an hour. If DD spent 3 hours down there, I would give her $60.

No, I wouldn’t do that, but I sure wouldn’t let it happen again.

Why not? Pay her the time. People are so quick to think discount someone else's time and charge their own. She is not a family member.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, don’t make a big deal about this! She was paid, you’re sorry, it won’t happen again. Done. No gift cards, no extra pay- just your complete respect for her time going forward.

She used a paid day off and then did not get a day off, or a least not a full day off. Why would this not be compensated in another day or in pay for the work?