Toddler refused to be called by real name

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really, folks, parenting should have as light a touch as possible while keeping kids safe and motivated to do well. That means don’t shut them down. The scars from your controlling impulse during their brain growth years will last a lifetime.

Such a strange take.
Parenting is literally lovingly setting boundaries. This labeling of employing parental wisdom and discernment to guide and instruct our children as “controlling impulse” is a strange culture of fear. You can and should teach your child about norms and expectations. And about reality and pretend.
“Sweetie, we love that you have fun watching Paw Patrol! And it’s fun to pretend, isn’t it? When Mommy and Larlo are playing Paw Patrol, I can call you ‘Rubble’ but that’s the name of a pretend doggie. Larlo is what we call you when we’re not pretending.”
This is not unreasonable.
If tantrum ensues, you address the tantrum, not the name.

LOL that's a lot of words for picking a fight with a kid for no reason. Imagine being a person who insists a child can only play pretend while a screen is on, and then also decdiding that you should be giving parenting advice.

Imagine not understanding that parenting takes lots of time and attention with your child.

Fighting with a kid over having an imagination is not lots of time and attention, and certainly not *more* time an attention than playing a game with them that want to play. You're just intentionally setting up a power struggle so that you can win. It's unnecessary and telling your kid to turn their imagination off as soon as the screen is off is not good parenting.

You do you, Boo.

[Anonymous]

My big sister and I always wanted to be called by the names of our favourite characters around that age. My mother had no problem with it, although she still laughs about the looks other parents gave her when she called me (a very gender conforming little girl) Edmund in the grocery store.

I can't tell from your post -- are tantrums caused by you accidentally using her real name? If so, yeah, address that however you choose to address tantrums in general. If they're caused by you sitting her down and telling her you refuse to use the name she currently wants to be called, that seems like you picking a fight.

[Anonymous]

I was Sparky. I wish I still was Sparky.

I knew a Pepper who had been named Stephanie.

Go along with it. There are much worse things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This started a few weeks ago where my 3 year old DD decided she no longer wanted to be call by her real name. She demands everyone to call her by the name of an animal character in a movie. I know this is probably another stage that will pass, but it is getting frustrating for me. Telling her I will only call her by her real name results in a meltdown. Should I just let her continue to have her fun or do I need to be correcting her?

When my son was 3, he kept saying, "I'm not [his name]". He would cry if I called him by his name. He was really upset, so I stopped addressing him by his name for a few weeks. I called him dear or honey instead. I don't know if I would've called him some other name he insisted on. He was over it within a month.

[Anonymous]

Meh. I’d say that’s so fun! And I’d play along at home sometimes. But anytime I was offering a treat it would be to Larla. I have ice cream for Larla! I have a cookie for Larla! Grandma sent a card for Larla! Do you want to open it?

[Anonymous]

It's a phase. Preschoolers are trying to learn to be independent. They have so little control in their lives that they try to establish control wherever they can. It will pass.

We had to call my son Pikachu for almost a year; it passed. This will too. What I did was I call him Pikachu around the house and doing things that didn't involve others. When we were out and about or with others, I reverted to calling him by his given name. As long as you call her her chosen name regularly, when you revert to her given name in other situations the tantrums will be smaller. She will recognize that she has the control in the situations when you call her by the name of her choosing and will fight the exception less. After time, you will be using that character name less and less until you are back to using her real name. Give her that little bit of control of her own life.

[Anonymous]

And we still don't know the name? OP is so cruel! What is the point of this whole thread if we don't even know the name?
Worst thread and op ever!

[Anonymous]

This is so not a big deal, run with it OP. Your kid will tire of it at some point.

[Anonymous]

Mine wakes up.and announces a new name every day. Sometimes it is a name like Whole Baby Levi (that was last week) or Jackie Paper and sometimes it is a word - yesterday was HonnaLee like from Puff the Magic Dragon. She also sometimes wants to be called by her baby sisters name. That one has been tricky to navigate.

It's normal and fine and fun. I would follow kid lead and call by fun names. If you forget and tantrum happens address that with "oops. I forget. But let's practice reminding people with our nice voice,"

[Anonymous]

DD went through this phase. We had to call her Dorothy for a while - probably a couple months. Then she asked to be called her real name.

She’s going to be 16 next month and occasionally we call her Dorothy as a joke.

[Anonymous]

I would go along, then after a few days, try her real name to see what if it works. Parents need to outwit their kids most of the time. Laying down the law is when you’re frazzled, running late and Princess Winged Tiger refuses to put on her shoes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the issue was not that mom has a problem using a made-up name it’s the tantrums that come when she doesn’t use it. Come on folks, we all know we would forget to call her her imaginary name once or twice. The tantrums are not OK and I would tell the three-year-old that imaginary name is going to be on hold until she can be nice about the times mom forgets.

No you can't read.

Telling her I will only call her by her real name results in a meltdown.

[Anonymous]

Haha! That’s cute. Humor her for a while!

[Anonymous]

It’s a fun phase. My now 15 year old was Dora-Boots-Swiper-All the single ladies-Sally. The full name lasted about a month, she was happy to be called that once or twice a day. Sally, which is not her name, lasted about six months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really, folks, parenting should have as light a touch as possible while keeping kids safe and motivated to do well. That means don’t shut them down. The scars from your controlling impulse during their brain growth years will last a lifetime.

Oh please.