financial obligation for adult child

[Anonymous]

As the parent of a young adult with a disability who dies require direct financial support and oversight, I do think that at some point DD/DS needs to just get a job first to be sure they have the life skills of being able to get a job on time, dress appropriately etc. AND learn the soft skills necessary to keep a job. THe young adult ought to look for an entry level job if he/she has a field of interest or otherwise look for a job with benefits and get started going to work. Doing so for a year or so could be a positive launching pad in any number of ways in that it will demonstrate yet the ability to hold a job, provide a recent work not just training reference and would help the young adult define more concretely what he/she might need and want to get for training to enter a specific field or move up in what one is doing.

Another approach might be to talk to the workforce counselor at the local community college to see what careers are in demand in your area and if the person may want to try one of those part-time and still work part-time. In some areas, there is funding to go to a cc to get such training.

OP - It is important to be sure the basics of the young adult’s life are covered such as health insurance, car insurance, car maintenance, basic phone plan, and perhaps some funding in getting started in a job. However, by mid-20s there is a need for a distinction between needs and wants. It is time to treat DS/DD as an adult by having both parents sit down with the person and have a frank discussion about what it costs for the person to live now, what you can afford and what the other parent might. Junior will only float along with unrealistic dreams or be a perpetual student without a dose of reality of costs, and likely figure the financial support will continue. Case in point - just what did the person do with the recent checks from the government or will do with the next $1,400. ***And if one did not work last year to file a tax return, well that is a starting point for consideration, too.

I have seen too many instances of caring parent strung along by such unfocused adult children starting in early 20s and continuing on into 30s, only to add a spouse and even children to the equation!!

[Anonymous]

The parent with the money should pay. The stepparent should not.

How is this even a question?