Inheritance question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I completely understand why you want your mother's original wishes to be upheld but in the absence of a will it's a stretch to think that will happen. Legally all assets belong to your father now and he can do with them what he wishes. Wills are critical in inheritance issues and it always surprises me how many people do not have one. Even a quickie online will template that you fill out AND have notarized is better than nothing.

I think my mom trusted that everyone in the family knew what she wanted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I completely understand why you want your mother's original wishes to be upheld but in the absence of a will it's a stretch to think that will happen. Legally all assets belong to your father now and he can do with them what he wishes. Wills are critical in inheritance issues and it always surprises me how many people do not have one. Even a quickie online will template that you fill out AND have notarized is better than nothing.

I think my mom trusted that everyone in the family knew what she wanted.

I hear you but without a will it's a tough legal battle.

[Anonymous]

My dad wanted to leave the house and his mom's property and land to my two kids. Sister has no kids, and these have been in our family for generations. This would ensure that they stay in our family.
He left no will. So, mom decided to give village property to my sister. That means that down the road, this generations (we are talking centuries) in my family property might end up in BIL's name and end up being his brother's kids' property.
It sucks, even though my sister said, I'll leave it to your kids, ha. Within six months, she changed her mind saying it only fair that my darling husband gets it since he is my family. Sure, great, he is. But, was there thought about this meaning that our ancestral lands and house would belong to a family unrelated? Yes, but her DH promised her that he would leave it to my kids too! That was enough for my sister!
Life is not fair; most of it sucks. I'd rather spend it not fighting with my own sister and mother—the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad wanted to leave the house and his mom's property and land to my two kids. Sister has no kids, and these have been in our family for generations. This would ensure that they stay in our family.
He left no will. So, mom decided to give village property to my sister. That means that down the road, this generations (we are talking centuries) in my family property might end up in BIL's name and end up being his brother's kids' property.
It sucks, even though my sister said, I'll leave it to your kids, ha. Within six months, she changed her mind saying it only fair that my darling husband gets it since he is my family. Sure, great, he is. But, was there thought about this meaning that our ancestral lands and house would belong to a family unrelated? Yes, but her DH promised her that he would leave it to my kids too! That was enough for my sister!
Life is not fair; most of it sucks. I'd rather spend it not fighting with my own sister and mother—the end.

This issue could be solved by leaving the land in trust to your sister for her lifetime with either her descendants (she could have kids later) or if she has no descendants, the descendants of your parents (your kids) as the remaindermen after she died

Childless people don’t deserve less inheritance. You aren’t entitled to more assets simply because you have kids. I bet the childless sibling does more to care for your parents

[Anonymous]

You don’t want to co-own something with anyone.

[Anonymous]

You need to let this go. You don’t know that your kids will want this. Generations ago someone bought property with the same idea in my family. Ever since then, every generation has unsuccessfully tried to unload it. Don’t put your desires on your kids and don’t ruin a relationship with your sister over it. Also shared property creates so many issues. And you don’t have legal standing. So many reasons to let this go.

[Anonymous]

I realize that you may not be thinking about this clearly given your mothers wishes. Your mother, though, simply did not do what was required to be done in order to effectuate those wishes. You don’t know why she did or didn’t do it. You don’t know if she just didn’t get around to making a well or if she had different thoughts at different times. Whatever the case, though, she simply did not make a will. From your postings, it also does not seem you have any reason to believe that she made a well and your father has hidden it as another poster suggested you claim. with that, the simple fact is that these properties belong to your father, with absolutely no strings attached, and he can do whatever he wants with them. your mother was an adult, and like all adults sometimes fails to do what is needed to effectuate their wishes. Think of all the people who have died of Covid over this past year without haven’t gotten around to making wills and then being isolated for their few remaining days. this is simply something that happens, it’s unfortunate, but is a reality. If any lesson should be taken it is that all of us should have these documents in order.

All that said, I cannot imagine why you would want to try to challenge your father’s will as you suggest. There are two properties and he has made a choice to divide them by giving one to one child and one to the other, despite the fact that they are unequal and sentimental or financial value. your father knows this. at most, I would suggest that you speak with your father, but it appears that you already have asked him about it and he has presumably said that he is not making any changes. what more is there to say? He owns property, he decides where it goes when he dies, and you are not happy with what is going to you. there is no next step for you in this.

U2 will have the right to decide who gets your property when you die. all you can do is be mindful of the situation as you make your choices going forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's really no good way for you to "share" it, except to sell it and divide the proceeds. Then the property will no longer be in the family. If there are two properties, and two kids--then each kid gets a property. That makes the most sense.

You say the property your sister is "larger" but is it "better?" Worth more?

It's been shared for almost 100 years. Neither sibling needs the money. My preference would be to keep in family and pass both down to next generation.

How? If you have kids, and your sister has kids...that's multiple people. Then if your kids/nieces and nephews have kids, that's even MORE people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's really no good way for you to "share" it, except to sell it and divide the proceeds. Then the property will no longer be in the family. If there are two properties, and two kids--then each kid gets a property. That makes the most sense.

You say the property your sister is "larger" but is it "better?" Worth more?

It's been shared for almost 100 years. Neither sibling needs the money. My preference would be to keep in family and pass both down to next generation.

How? If you have kids, and your sister has kids...that's multiple people. Then if your kids/nieces and nephews have kids, that's even MORE people.

And more to the point, your preference is simply irrelevant. The property is not yours. And the person who owns the property has every right to decide what to do with it. You really seem to think that you have some right to this property, even after raising it with your father. Nobody has any right to anyone else’s property. Regardless of how long it has been in a family line. Your father could sell it all and give the proceeds to charity. With an ion gratitude, consider just being thankful that you had a place to make these sentimental memories. Be thankful that your father is not selling them and using the money for something else, and that you and your sister will each have one of them to enjoy with your families. It seems that you have a clear view of your father‘s wishes since you have already spoken with him about it. Respect those wishes as to what he wants to do with what belongs to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's really no good way for you to "share" it, except to sell it and divide the proceeds. Then the property will no longer be in the family. If there are two properties, and two kids--then each kid gets a property. That makes the most sense.

You say the property your sister is "larger" but is it "better?" Worth more?

It's been shared for almost 100 years. Neither sibling needs the money. My preference would be to keep in family and pass both down to next generation.

How? If you have kids, and your sister has kids...that's multiple people. Then if your kids/nieces and nephews have kids, that's even MORE people.

OP has kids. Sister doesn’t. OP wants to control what she does with her inheritance AND what her sister does with her inheritance, even to the point of sister bypassing her own spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's really no good way for you to "share" it, except to sell it and divide the proceeds. Then the property will no longer be in the family. If there are two properties, and two kids--then each kid gets a property. That makes the most sense.

You say the property your sister is "larger" but is it "better?" Worth more?

It's been shared for almost 100 years. Neither sibling needs the money. My preference would be to keep in family and pass both down to next generation.

How? If you have kids, and your sister has kids...that's multiple people. Then if your kids/nieces and nephews have kids, that's even MORE people.

And more to the point, your preference is simply irrelevant. The property is not yours. And the person who owns the property has every right to decide what to do with it. You really seem to think that you have some right to this property, even after raising it with your father. Nobody has any right to anyone else’s property. Regardless of how long it has been in a family line. Your father could sell it all and give the proceeds to charity. With an ion gratitude, consider just being thankful that you had a place to make these sentimental memories. Be thankful that your father is not selling them and using the money for something else, and that you and your sister will each have one of them to enjoy with your families. It seems that you have a clear view of your father‘s wishes since you have already spoken with him about it. Respect those wishes as to what he wants to do with what belongs to him.

OP here--it was my father who brought it up and said what he wanted to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's really no good way for you to "share" it, except to sell it and divide the proceeds. Then the property will no longer be in the family. If there are two properties, and two kids--then each kid gets a property. That makes the most sense.

You say the property your sister is "larger" but is it "better?" Worth more?

It's been shared for almost 100 years. Neither sibling needs the money. My preference would be to keep in family and pass both down to next generation.

How? If you have kids, and your sister has kids...that's multiple people. Then if your kids/nieces and nephews have kids, that's even MORE people.

OP has kids. Sister doesn’t. OP wants to control what she does with her inheritance AND what her sister does with her inheritance, even to the point of sister bypassing her own spouse.

Oh Lord, I should have known not to ask this question here...this is not the situation at all but thanks for projecting PP.

[Anonymous]

At least you know now. My parents said everything was split equally and I was POA as I live closer. Turns out in a slip, my sibling is POA and executor and getting everything. Since she is getting everything I stopped doing all the work and have very little contact. Clearly her manipulating to get all the money is more important than family. She has no husband or kids to take care of her when she needs help so she hasn't thought through the rift. Just make sure this is what you are ok with. I didn't have much of a relationship with my sister so I'm find with no relationship but it stung to have my parents behave as they have but have moved on from all of them. I would suspect your sibling had a large part to play. If its not in writing from your Dad, then you can probably get it split equally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's really no good way for you to "share" it, except to sell it and divide the proceeds. Then the property will no longer be in the family. If there are two properties, and two kids--then each kid gets a property. That makes the most sense.

You say the property your sister is "larger" but is it "better?" Worth more?

It's been shared for almost 100 years. Neither sibling needs the money. My preference would be to keep in family and pass both down to next generation.

How? If you have kids, and your sister has kids...that's multiple people. Then if your kids/nieces and nephews have kids, that's even MORE people.

OP has kids. Sister doesn’t. OP wants to control what she does with her inheritance AND what her sister does with her inheritance, even to the point of sister bypassing her own spouse.

Oh Lord, I should have known not to ask this question here...this is not the situation at all but thanks for projecting PP.

Was this you, OP? I’m not projecting. It seems like you really want both properties to stay in your family, which really means going to your kids if they are the only ones of that generation.
“ That means that down the road, this generations (we are talking centuries) in my family property might end up in BIL's name and end up being his brother's kids' property.
It sucks, even though my sister said, I'll leave it to your kids, ha. Within six months, she changed her mind saying it only fair that my darling husband gets it since he is my family.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's really no good way for you to "share" it, except to sell it and divide the proceeds. Then the property will no longer be in the family. If there are two properties, and two kids--then each kid gets a property. That makes the most sense.

You say the property your sister is "larger" but is it "better?" Worth more?

It's been shared for almost 100 years. Neither sibling needs the money. My preference would be to keep in family and pass both down to next generation.

How? If you have kids, and your sister has kids...that's multiple people. Then if your kids/nieces and nephews have kids, that's even MORE people.

And more to the point, your preference is simply irrelevant. The property is not yours. And the person who owns the property has every right to decide what to do with it. You really seem to think that you have some right to this property, even after raising it with your father. Nobody has any right to anyone else’s property. Regardless of how long it has been in a family line. Your father could sell it all and give the proceeds to charity. With an ion gratitude, consider just being thankful that you had a place to make these sentimental memories. Be thankful that your father is not selling them and using the money for something else, and that you and your sister will each have one of them to enjoy with your families. It seems that you have a clear view of your father‘s wishes since you have already spoken with him about it. Respect those wishes as to what he wants to do with what belongs to him.

OP here--it was my father who brought it up and said what he wanted to do.

That is exactly my point. Your father has told you what he wants to do with his property. He is telling you in advance The decision that he has made about what he is going to do with his property. And your specific request is how in the future you will be able to challenge as well. On what basis do you think you would challenge it? Not only will there be a document reflecting his wishes, but he has told you exactly what he wants to do and there is no lack of clarity. as to who raised what during the conversation, it really isn’t relevant. I thought you had said in one of the earlier posts, though, that your father had wondered why you had brought it up or didn’t understand why you had brought it up. Perhaps that wasn’t you though. in any event, if you did not persuade your father to change his mind, why the heck would you think that you could force a court to go against his wishes after his death?