DD on her screens all the time now - should I let it go?

[Anonymous]

Mine is 11 and I physically take her iPad. Too young for a phone, we will get one when she's back in school this fall but still no iPhone. She has a hard time self regulating, and we try to distinguish between online social time with friends or family and screens for sheer entertainment. It's still way more than we would have allowed pre-pandemic, but the reality is it's a very different winter from any other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some parents here have mentioned physically taking away screens during certain times of the day (I'm not taking about nighttime here, that's a given.) Does anyone do this for kids 13+? I feel that I need to teach her to self-regulate at this point, without physically taking the phone away. But maybe I should reconsider? I let my 15yo so keep his phone at all times during the day but he is better about parking it on a shelf when he doesn't need it.

My almost 13yo just can’t do it (self-regulate) it’s killing me, my 15yo is great. So, I do physically take away the younger one’s phone and game controller if necessary. Due to the pandemic, the younger one got a phone and tik Tok earlier than the older one, I think that’s part of it. I also just think they are different in that way, he’s had the phone since summer, it’s not novelty, but tik tok and you tube are endless and that seems to be the problem.

[Anonymous]

Our whole family is on screens much more than we used to be and we’ve really loosened up on our restrictions for DS, 11. He does Homework, reading and instrument time daily. He also does something physical a few times a day on his own and helps with things around the house. Then, online time with friends is encouraged. We don’t let him have screen time for YouTube, TikTok or video games by himself very often. The screen is a way to connect when he can’t see friends in person, which is a lot of the time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some parents here have mentioned physically taking away screens during certain times of the day (I'm not taking about nighttime here, that's a given.) Does anyone do this for kids 13+? I feel that I need to teach her to self-regulate at this point, without physically taking the phone away. But maybe I should reconsider? I let my 15yo so keep his phone at all times during the day but he is better about parking it on a shelf when he doesn't need it.

Read up on the teenage brain. It is very undeveloped and yes you need to set limits and not expect them to easily regulate by themselves with screen as those ages.

[Anonymous]

*At* those ages^^

[Anonymous]

Circle app
You can see how much time they use each device
Shut down internet if needed at certain times of day, etc
Life changing for our family and eye opening for our 14 yr old who now sees how much time he was doing things that cut into other non screen interests...
It’s about 100 bucks

[Anonymous]

There’s a reason most Silicon Valley tech people don’t let their kids have devices at all.

These devices are highly addicting and letting your child use one for hours every day us reinforcing addictive behavior that will easily translate to substances and other behaviors later in life.

Furthermore, beyond the very real danger of deteriorating mental health linked to heavy device use, there is also very real danger young kids will develop kyphosis from the posture most of them use while looking at handheld screens.

More than 2 hours a day is negligent parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, I don’t allow this. I also don’t give kids that young a brand new phone. I allow 90 minutes of free screen time per day.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a reason most Silicon Valley tech people don’t let their kids have devices at all.

These devices are highly addicting and letting your child use one for hours every day us reinforcing addictive behavior that will easily translate to substances and other behaviors later in life.

Furthermore, beyond the very real danger of deteriorating mental health linked to heavy device use, there is also very real danger young kids will develop kyphosis from the posture most of them use while looking at handheld screens.

More than 2 hours a day is negligent parenting.

Good grief

[Anonymous]

Parenting is hard. Much easier to scoff at all the research that is telling us how dangerous excessive screen time is for children’s bodies and minds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a reason most Silicon Valley tech people don’t let their kids have devices at all.

These devices are highly addicting and letting your child use one for hours every day us reinforcing addictive behavior that will easily translate to substances and other behaviors later in life.

Furthermore, beyond the very real danger of deteriorating mental health linked to heavy device use, there is also very real danger young kids will develop kyphosis from the posture most of them use while looking at handheld screens.

More than 2 hours a day is negligent parenting.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Circle app
You can see how much time they use each device
Shut down internet if needed at certain times of day, etc
Life changing for our family and eye opening for our 14 yr old who now sees how much time he was doing things that cut into other non screen interests...
It’s about 100 bucks

You can see/do all of this for free on Xfinity app.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a reason most Silicon Valley tech people don’t let their kids have devices at all.

These devices are highly addicting and letting your child use one for hours every day us reinforcing addictive behavior that will easily translate to substances and other behaviors later in life.

Furthermore, beyond the very real danger of deteriorating mental health linked to heavy device use, there is also very real danger young kids will develop kyphosis from the posture most of them use while looking at handheld screens.

More than 2 hours a day is negligent parenting.

+1

More than two hours a day? My teens go to school online for 6 hours per day. Plus homework, then watch a few shows. This is the teen forum.

[Anonymous]

I’m not talking about the time on screens for remote schooling during pandemic. I’m talking about the amount of time you allow them to use digital devices and all the various apps (all carefully developed to be addicting and to hard wire the brain to addictive patterns) in their out of school ‘free’ time.

Numerous research studies have shown that excessive digital device use is shortening attention spans, and that even reading on devices rather than real books/magazines stimulates the brain differently and retention of reading material is not as good.

This is all aside from the mental health pitfalls for kids of frequent social media engagement - the skyrocketing suicide rates in even young children that track exactly with the rise of social media might as well be a frying pan hitting us over the head.

The reason most kids are glued to screens anyway is that their parents are addicted, too.

[Anonymous]

i.e., nobody enables an addict as well as another addict.