How much to tell boss about IVF treatments

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in a similar boat with a male boss I like and fairly trust - curious if anyone's advice would change re: egg freezing and heading into a busy time of the work year? I almost want to give him a head's up that I will be having procedures/taking meds and may need to call out at the last minute due to side effects. It's literally just the 2 of us on our team, so I'm just wondering if it will hurt my career I don't tell him and look like a flake?

Even though we're WFH now, I may have to request discretionary telework to quarantine if we're ordered to go back before I finish (to avoid any covid exposure since it's so expensive and I can only afford to do this once). FWIW, I'm single and not planning on having a child ASAP because I can't afford it yet; I'm doing what I can to improve my odds down the line in case I meet someone and feel we can be parents together.

I would not say anything. You can arrange for your monitoring appointments to be done before work, and unless you have unusual reactions you will only need to actually take a day or two off.

[Anonymous]

I have a (male) boss I like and trust who is very pro family. I told him as little as I could about my fertility treatments: medical appointment for things during the day, sometimes guessing what time I’d need off some I was doing IUIs and they weren’t scheduled until I was about to ovulate and in a pinch needing to use sick leave for a “migraine.” I just didn’t feel comfortable telling him about what amounted to my sex life.

[Anonymous]

i'm a fed and told my male boss. he was very empathetic. telling him made the process a little less stressful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a federal employee and I will be undergoing IVF later this year. Wondering if anyone has talked to their boss about it and how they handled it and if you notified HR to let them know?

I'm female and my boss is male so it is kind of awkward. But my job is really demanding and my boss has super high standards and I know if I slip on anything I'll get called to the carpet about it.

You cannot be serious! Definitely TMI. I would think you were nuts.

[Anonymous]

Sigh. I mean, it shouldn't be TMI. People reproduce and there shouldn't be a stigma; we're maintaining the species!

Same thing with people asking for accommodations at work around mental health. We're all humans going through things that effect our work every now and then; NBD.

[Anonymous]

New poster.

I am a teacher and I start work at 7:20. This is going to be really difficult for me. Very difficult to get a half-day sub.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sigh. I mean, it shouldn't be TMI. People reproduce and there shouldn't be a stigma; we're maintaining the species!

Same thing with people asking for accommodations at work around mental health. We're all humans going through things that effect our work every now and then; NBD.

Ummm, with 7 billion of us there is no sign of us disappearing.

[Anonymous]

Tell nothing!! Seriously you could be in this for the long haul and people just don’t understand.

For the teacher you need to go somewhere with 6am monitoring and get there at 530 if need be to be 1st in line depending on the office. Ask before you sign up as there could be many monitoring days depending on how many times you cycle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New poster.

I am a teacher and I start work at 7:20. This is going to be really difficult for me. Very difficult to get a half-day sub.

I also struggled with this. Since most of the time I was just late, my principal was ok with me not using leave. I just texted her when I had blood work appointments. I also didn’t tell her it was for fertility treatments. I met with my PCP and explained the situation, documented with notes from the fertility office, and they wrote a note that I was under going treatment requiring frequent half days. When they turned out to just be running lates I think my admin was more accommodating (given that we never had subs anyway).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sigh. I mean, it shouldn't be TMI. People reproduce and there shouldn't be a stigma; we're maintaining the species!

Same thing with people asking for accommodations at work around mental health. We're all humans going through things that effect our work every now and then; NBD.

Ummm, with 7 billion of us there is no sign of us disappearing.

The US is facing an aging crisis; if people actually want to be pro-life that means changing a lot. I have no illusions that will happen, but I'll never not fight for it. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/feb/09/us-birth-rate-decline-one-economics-coronavirus