Reading addiction — 7 year old

[Anonymous]

My H and my Brother are like this.

They are perfect examples of kids with issues that need therapy but don’t get it because they get good grades.

Both ADHD (hyper-concentrate) and severe anxiety (self soothe the reeding) both highly successful academically and professionally, crash around 40 yo. Therapy and meditation.

[Anonymous]

My kids both read constantly (they're 6 and 8). I dont see a problem as long as they are also socializing and doing other things some of the time. Obviously if the books are a problem at dinner, in mornings, you don't let him read at those times.

I was also a bookworm as a young child, and then I stopped reading in elementary and have never had the time in adulthood!

[Anonymous]

My 7 year old DD is like this, and I was too. She has books in her room but the ones she's really into (whatever is new from the library) stay in the living room so that she isn't tempted to read at night or while getting dressed. We don't allow reading at the table or in the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have ADHD and was like this as a child-- reading was the object of my hyperfocus.

+1. Now as an adult it’s my phone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a “good” problem, but still a problem — hoping some parents have dealt with this successfully. With the pandemic we haven’t been socializing much and our 7 year old has developed a reading addiction. He does go to school in person since September. But when at home he only likes to read. Yesterday we were meeting friends for an outdoor masked play date for his younger brother. He has loved play dates with this family in the past but now wanted to stay inside and read. When we are at dinner we have to tear the book away so he will talk with us. In the middle of the morning rush, same thing — we find him with a book instead of doing what he needs to do to get out of the door on time. He takes music and a second language, and it’s been hard to get him to practice or do his (minimal) HW because he goes to his room to do it but ends up with a book.

He gets plenty of playtime at school and independent reading time there and at home. I obviously don’t want to discourage the reading. But at the same fine we have talked about how it’s not polite to read in a communal meal, how reading once you’re done getting ready is fine but not in between, how focusing on one thing at a Rome is important. He says yes ok but then back to the same. What would/did you do in this situation?

Wait until you learn about this thing called Twitter where adults read it all the time like they are addicted

[Anonymous]

OP, my adhd child also has this as a hyperfocus. He easily reads 12-16 hours per day. Sometimes as much as 20, staying up until 3 am to read, reading the in bathroom, at the dinner table, etc. it’s been this way for years. I’ve tried to enforce the no reading at dinner rule but it’s very difficult—as soon as my attention turns, the book is back. I’ve tried to take away books but it doesn’t really help, as he is usually reading 5-6 at a time and will easily just switch to whatever he can find.
So I think some PPs don’t get it.
I am “lucky” in that mine is also very social so if there are social activities I can usually get him to go. I really try not to let him turn down human interaction for a book. I also try not to go to the Library or book store right before a social activity, as he will bail on all activities in favor of new books.
We even had it written into his 504 at points—that he could use books as a calming mechanism or that teachers could use free reading time as a rewArd. The latter never really worked as he just would start reading whenever.
I wish I had more suggestions. Most people just say it’s not a problem.

[Anonymous]

I was like that as a child. For the most part my parents left me alone about it, although my dad refused to let me read at meals (even though he had the TV on if there was a game).

Anyway, those were some of my happiest childhood memories and I developed a terrific vocabulary and became a very strong writer because of all that reading. It’s not a problem it’s a massive blessing and beyond reminding him about getting his responsibilities met, I wouldn’t try to curb his urge to carry a book around and sneak some reading in at every chance. Think of all the neural pathways he is blazing! More important than anything else, not to mention developing such a terrific habit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, my adhd child also has this as a hyperfocus. He easily reads 12-16 hours per day. Sometimes as much as 20, staying up until 3 am to read, reading the in bathroom, at the dinner table, etc. it’s been this way for years. I’ve tried to enforce the no reading at dinner rule but it’s very difficult—as soon as my attention turns, the book is back. I’ve tried to take away books but it doesn’t really help, as he is usually reading 5-6 at a time and will easily just switch to whatever he can find.
So I think some PPs don’t get it.
I am “lucky” in that mine is also very social so if there are social activities I can usually get him to go. I really try not to let him turn down human interaction for a book. I also try not to go to the Library or book store right before a social activity, as he will bail on all activities in favor of new books.
We even had it written into his 504 at points—that he could use books as a calming mechanism or that teachers could use free reading time as a rewArd. The latter never really worked as he just would start reading whenever.
I wish I had more suggestions. Most people just say it’s not a problem.

OP here. I agree. I do suspect some ADHD, though mild and hidden by academic strengths. I see the hyper focus in other areas. Once DC gets going on some task he is all about it, whether it’s a (to my mind boring) workbook or crafts. However transitions are hard. Staying on time is hard. I imagine this codes as normal for the age, and won’t get noticed until later on in life when things become more complex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have ADHD and was like this as a child-- reading was the object of my hyperfocus.

+1+ Have designated times for no books. Otherwise, let him carry on.

[Anonymous]

I think you’re too worried. Because of his age, he’s excited to have this new amazing ability to be absorbed into books on his own. I would only say he can’t read during social situations, like lunch, dinner, recess, play dates. Otherwise, let him read. Reading is a wonderful way to relax for an introvert, and it’s better for you then vegging in front of the TV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re too worried. Because of his age, he’s excited to have this new amazing ability to be absorbed into books on his own. I would only say he can’t read during social situations, like lunch, dinner, recess, play dates. Otherwise, let him read. Reading is a wonderful way to relax for an introvert, and it’s better for you then vegging in front of the TV.

This is advice. My niece is like this. She never puts a book down. But my sister and her DH don't see it as a problem. They laugh it off like "what are we going to tell her to do, stop reading?"


But yes, that's exactly what they need to do. For example, at beach vacations with the grandparents, she stays behind in the house to read. Or at weekend gatherings, she sits and reads instead of socializing with her cousins.

And they've mostly given up on getting her to try new things. any sports or hobbies are met with resistance, and they allow it because "at least she's reading"

And it is a problem. Boundaries and limits for any activity are a good things

[Anonymous]

My kid is also like this and has ADHD and anxiety. We have strict rules about reading fiction in our house. I don’t allow her to start a new book after dinner. I also refuse to take her to the library until the weekend. She is not allowed to keep books in her room. It sounds crazy, but she will otherwise read in her room all day and night. She also rereads books over and over and over again. She is 12 and loved books even as an infant. People don’t really understand when I complain about it. Like some PPs here, they think I’m bragging.

[Anonymous]

Most of my family is like this. Our rules were: no books while eating (or other places they’d get messy), if you’re cranky because you stayed up late reading bedtime will be enforced, you have to socialize at least a little bit in social situations (eg dinners out, museums, play dates for siblings). We were never prevented from taking books absolutely everywhere (actually that was encouraged) and my parents made sure dinner time conversation was interesting to us — we had a family variant of 20 questions based around books we’d all read. Basically, set somewhat reasonable restrictions regarding safety and good manners, but acknowledge that introverted kids might retreat into books a lot.