Reading addiction — 7 year old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have ADHD and was like this as a child-- reading was the object of my hyperfocus.

OP here. This is one of my concerns as well. When were you diagnosed and what did your parents do to help you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was like this, and so was my daughter, although we did socialize with others. I think reading is a comfort to him now, and during the pandemic, we need what we can get.

OP here. I was like this to an extent because my family was dysfunctional and there was physical and emotional abuse. I get that it can be a coping mechanism. My son isn’t dealing with anything like this in our family, but at the same time I have talked with him gently about how he won’t always be able to whip a book out if he doesn’t like the situation he is in, and it’s important to learn other ways to cope with big feelings or daily stress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same here - 6.5 yr old. We have a no books at the dinner table rule, but he can have them at breakfast. I also tell him he has to play during virtual recess not read, because play is important. He gripes and pushes back, but does what I ask. We give him a full hour to read to himself at bedtime.

The most frustrating thing is asking him to get dressed adn seeing him with getting dressed while reading - one leg in the air, half a shirt on, book in hand/table. Its hilarious but frustrating!

Yes... frustrating! Just do one thing at a time.

[Anonymous]

My sister snatched a book away from me while she and my mom and I were driving to go out for lunch. I was 32 at the time. The first time I went to a dr's office since covid, I didn't think about the clinic having removed all the magazines and I didn't have a book with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister snatched a book away from me while she and my mom and I were driving to go out for lunch. I was 32 at the time. The first time I went to a dr's office since covid, I didn't think about the clinic having removed all the magazines and I didn't have a book with me.

Is it anxiety?

[Anonymous]

My kid is like this and the principal actually asked us if it was ok to ask her not to read during recess (pre covid obviously), we said. Yes. The Prinicpal/teacher suspected it is her way of hiding from social interactions (my dd was a new student and did not make new friends), it is her hide away , a way to look "busy".

She also think she is bad at math so she takes pride in reading and it is something she is good at so she always talks about reading and wants to receive good feedback about it. There might be an element of inattention as she is not good at organization .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have ADHD and was like this as a child-- reading was the object of my hyperfocus.

OP here. This is one of my concerns as well. When were you diagnosed and what did your parents do to help you?

Even if it is ADHD, it's not a problem. ADHD is a just a different kind of functioning. If your child has ADHD, discouraging reading (a good outlet for hyper focus, as PP describes) will only make it worse because then that focus will have to go elsewhere. You might not like where it goes. ADHD kids whose parents try to force them to behave in a more neurotypical way are more likely to develop anxiety disorders or OCD because they are being deprived of something that would meet their needs.

A big part of parenting a child who is not neuro-typical is allowing them to gravitate towards solutions and outlets that help them function on their own, and only stepping in if the behavior could be harmful. Reading a lot is not harmful.

[Anonymous]

This was me when I was a child! A lot of the time, reading helped me decompress from being in social situations. I had a large family and it was one of the only ways I got to spend time by myself. Sometimes I just really loved the story I was reading too! My parents compromised with me by letting me stay up a little later (still had to be in bed by 8) but I could read until 9pm, which felt really special and mature.

[Anonymous]

My 15 year old was like this. I was like this. My 10 year isn’t as bad, but can definitely get lost in a book.
Gradually they get more social as teens, at least that’s what happened to my son and I. We’ll always be bookworms, but we can control ourselves better

We also gave inattentive ADHD, which I’m sure plays into it.

[Anonymous]

Have, not gave

[Anonymous]

Great problem, OP! I would support the kid in their interest in reading.

I went to college with a now famous economist and he used to show up to parties with books or textbooks, and then he'd just sit in a corner (usually near the host's bookshelf) reading while everyone else was drinking and assessing their mating options. He's happily married now and loves his career (not quite Nobel but you'd probably know him by name if I told you, given that this is DCUM and all).

My husband's parents used to insist he put his books away and go to bed by 9pm. He spent much of his childhood nights reading in secret under the covers, and I think it screwed up his sleep patterns for life. I'm not sure what his parents could have done differently, though.

[Anonymous]

"You can read AFTER you get done with your homework/half hour of music practice/are ready for school."

When he's going to a playdate obviously can't bring a book, and if he's mopey about not getting to read tell him quietly "You can stay up reading an extra 15 minutes tonight."

As you said, this IS a good problem to have.I got in trouble as a kid for reading at school when I was supposed to be working. I read on my lunch hour at work (pre Covid). I have stayed up until 3am on a school night reading a good book.

But I share books with family. Random people at work have introduced themselves based on seeing books on my desk. They've given me books just because. Your son will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parent of older kids and I opened the post with a smile because once upon a time I felt the exact same (used to say said child “reads on his way to reading”) and now I have a teen who will barely read . Not to sound patronizing because I do feel your concern but I think no need for concern as at some point I promise your child will break to enjoy other experiences as well. We did have a rule no books at dinner table.

I also have a teen who went from reading non stop to one who barely reads. I went from wishing he would read less to wishing he would read at least one book every few months.

[Anonymous]

Reading really clicked for my oldest at age 7, and he would spend hours a day reading for a while. He continued to love reading, but the intensity of the interest in it leveled off snd has ebbed and flowed over the past few years. At 11 he spends a lot of time reading but not to try exclusion of other things. Your child will likely outgrow the obsession level of loving to read.

[Anonymous]

I read a book a day when was I in school--still do with Grishsam and other writers. How is love of reading a problem? I think you have a problem! I suspect that you are just bragging.