Moving out at 18

[Anonymous]

I was super excited to leave for college. I couldn't wait to leave my dysfunctional family. No tears at the airport for me. I did go home during the winter and summer, but not for shorter breaks like Thanksgiving or Spring Break. After college, I moved to DC and have not returned home since except to visit during Christmas.

I've tried really hard to make family life with my kids pleasant, calm, and loving. As far as I can tell, they would be sad to leave home for college, but are excited about college, too. I hope this feeling continues. I want my kids to love their home, but also to have the confidence to go to college anywhere they want to.

When I hear about kids who can't wait to leave home, I always wonder, given my personal experiences, if their families are dysfunctional or cold, like mine was.

[Anonymous]

OP there would be many people who did this years ago.

There are plenty of people that do this now as well, we just don't hear about it much in the DMV.

You did not give details. Age 18 is an adult in the eyes of the law, so yes you can ask them to move out.

There are many reasons for doing this you need to decide as a family what is best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not unusual, but honestly going to college doesn't seem like "moving out" to me. Its like the summer camp equivalent of moving out or the study abroad equivalent of being an expat. Sort of cosplay adulthood. I am not knocking it obviously but its less "real world". Even though I paid for my crappy summer rentals and what not, I didn't feel "moved out" until I graduated and got a FT job and rented by own (slightly nicer ) apartment with my roommate.

I agree, I wouldn't count going to college as moving out. You still come home on breaks, the summer, presumably have Mom and Dad supporting you financially. To me, "moving out" is you are on your own for the most part. Not an inbetween step like college.

I moved out at 18 to go to college. My parents didn’t support me financially; they didn’t have the $. I did come to there house during breaks by first 2 years but I slept in the couch, as my brother had moved back home and taken my bedroom. (He slept in the dining room while we were in HS.) I never saw it as my place, though. Just a place to visit while dorms were closed. I definitely was “moved out”, not cosplaying. We are not all rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I moved out at 17 and went to college. I left nothing at home, I paid for my own college. I went from college to law school, to an apartment I paid to rent, to a home I bought with my husband, to the home we now bought and raise our kids in. I never stepped foot back in my childhood home except to visit on holidays during college. When I graduated college, my parents moved to FL. I never said "goodbye" to my old house. I'd say I moved out at 17.

What did you do during the summers during college? (Or do you count this as a holiday?)

I did internships every summer. Each one I ever had my housing was covered. My summer between college graduation and law school, I did stay at my boyfriend's apartment in NYC. Park Slope to be exact.

[Anonymous]

I left at 17.5 and never went back. I got my PhD 10 years later, so leaving at 18 does not mean your kid has to be a bum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter moved halfway across the country from us when she was 17 and a half. She moved in with her older brother and sister-in-law, finished school and graduated, and has never asked us for any money. She moved out of their house when she turned 18.
I raise my kids to be independent. When my youngest turns 18 in 2 and a half years, I am moving out.

Thank God you are not my mom. They didn't move out, they were kicked out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I moved out at 17 and went to college. I left nothing at home, I paid for my own college. I went from college to law school, to an apartment I paid to rent, to a home I bought with my husband, to the home we now bought and raise our kids in. I never stepped foot back in my childhood home except to visit on holidays during college. When I graduated college, my parents moved to FL. I never said "goodbye" to my old house. I'd say I moved out at 17.

I think your mom posted on the first page. Your parents must've been something else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My two oldest kids moved to college across the country at 16. One turned 17 days later. The other turned 17 three months after moving into the dorm.

So what? Plenty of kids start college at 17. That doesn't mean they moved out, who was paying for college? Not really moved out, lived at your expense in college dorm!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I must be really old. I remember when this was the norm, and it was unusual NOT to move out at 18.

OP, are you specifically talking about an 18yo who is still in high school, moving out partway through their senior year? That's the only situation that I can think of this as slightly unusual.

It was a lot easier to survive at 18 decades ago. Especially for men. And women often got married that young. It's not as easy today.

[Anonymous]

Going to college is not really moving out. Unless you moved out to support yourself 100% by working, your “moved out at 18” experience doesn’t count.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Going to college is not really moving out. Unless you moved out to support yourself 100% by working, your “moved out at 18” experience doesn’t count.

+1

If parents are paying for college, then college is like a all inclusive paid vacation for the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Going to college is not really moving out. Unless you moved out to support yourself 100% by working, your “moved out at 18” experience doesn’t count.

+1

If parents are paying for college, then college is like a all inclusive paid vacation for the kids.

Right. Moving out means no financial support from parents. They are working. Likely in the gig economy or something illegal. It's not easy to move out.

[Anonymous]

DH and his siblings were told they could not stay at home after they graduated from HS. They all had to enroll in some form of post secondary education. IL's were paying the bills, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not unusual, but honestly going to college doesn't seem like "moving out" to me. Its like the summer camp equivalent of moving out or the study abroad equivalent of being an expat. Sort of cosplay adulthood. I am not knocking it obviously but its less "real world". Even though I paid for my crappy summer rentals and what not, I didn't feel "moved out" until I graduated and got a FT job and rented by own (slightly nicer ) apartment with my roommate.

I agree, I wouldn't count going to college as moving out. You still come home on breaks, the summer, presumably have Mom and Dad supporting you financially. To me, "moving out" is you are on your own for the most part. Not an inbetween step like college.

How privileged of you. Many people pay for their own college. So no, it's not an in-between step.

Not anymore they don’t. With exorbitant amount of tuition and the low limits on student loans, paying for college isn’t like when you went.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and his siblings were told they could not stay at home after they graduated from HS. They all had to enroll in some form of post secondary education. IL's were paying the bills, though.

Yeah, that’s called going to college. Pretty good deal if you ask me.