I don't like my husband's last name

[Anonymous]

I never changed my last name because my husband's is even worse than mine. I would love a common last name. Mine sounds Jewish, but I am Christian. I hate being discriminated against for no good reason.

[Anonymous]

There's nothing wrong with my DH's name, it's fairly common, but I never had any intention of changing my name. I

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is too common. Think "John Doe."

There. I said it. It is also why I did not change my last name.

Feel better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same. I also am attached to my own last name it as it’s been with me since birth. I kept my maiden name (outdated term!)

On the flip side of this, I dated a woman in college whose last name was Glasscock. She could not wait to get married. I don't mean in the sense of her stating she wanted to be married immediately, she just made it very clear that she was not going to be keeping that name when the time came. Honestly, I felt worse for her brother.

[Anonymous]

Ok weirdo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never changed my last name because my husband's is even worse than mine. I would love a common last name. Mine sounds Jewish, but I am Christian. I hate being discriminated against for no good reason.

Sorry that you wrongfully get a glimpse of the unfair discrimination Jewish people face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never changed my last name because my husband's is even worse than mine. I would love a common last name. Mine sounds Jewish, but I am Christian. I hate being discriminated against for no good reason.

Sorry that you wrongfully get a glimpse of the unfair discrimination Jewish people face.

So if you were actually Jewish, that would be a good reason?

[Anonymous]

Focker?

[Anonymous]

A friend and I were just discussing something related. Why is it not standard that children take the mother's maiden name (and mother keeps her maiden name)? With mitochondrial dna and all, doesn't that make more sense?

[Anonymous]

I hate my in laws so much--and frankly my husband at this point, too, that I would give anything to have my last name back and give it to my kids. I think I probably will just change my name, but it does bug me that my kids get his and their horrible grandparents' names. Why do we do that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A friend and I were just discussing something related. Why is it not standard that children take the mother's maiden name (and mother keeps her maiden name)? With mitochondrial dna and all, doesn't that make more sense?

In many african and asian societies this is how it's done. Also until modern times you can be certain who the mother is but not the father.

[Eli_whitney]

DW didn't change her name and it was never a consideration for us. We passed on her last name to the next gen..and i had to/have to endure strange looks on why I am going around with kids that don't have any resemblance to mine Overall, this has been a great transformative experience and sometimes wonder why this is such a big deal for so many folks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate my in laws so much--and frankly my husband at this point, too, that I would give anything to have my last name back and give it to my kids. I think I probably will just change my name, but it does bug me that my kids get his and their horrible grandparents' names. Why do we do that?

Because the patriarchial norms socialize us to accept we, and our children, belong to our husbands. Resist!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I actually like my DH's last name better than mine but for various reasons (didn't want to go through the hassle, didn't like the tradition of the wife taking the husband's last name, etc) kept mine. I am the only woman in my family or social circle who didn't change her name and there were people who had lots of opinions about it. So ridiculous-it's a personal decision and I certainly never gave anyone who changed their name flack but yet there were some who felt free to give me the side eye.

I liked changing my last name. I like the sound of it, I have to spell it (not complicated but there are 2 letters in the middle that are not sounded) but I have to spell my first name anyway because there are too many ways people with the same name spell it. I think partly because I was bullied for some years in middle school, not about my name (not as dull as Smith but pretty common) but using my name.

One of my closest friends fretted about changing her name at marriage and was going to keep hers, then she thought about the fact that it was her dad's name anyway. I have a cousin who changed hers to her mom's maiden name just to rile her conservative evangelical father.

[Eli_whitney]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

One of my closest friends fretted about changing her name at marriage and was going to keep hers, then she thought about the fact that it was her dad's name anyway. I have a cousin who changed hers to her mom's maiden name just to rile her conservative evangelical father.

That's a very valid point. I have known a few who completely got rid of the patriarchal last names and now go with only one name. In many forms I see an option of using only one name/given that can be entered instead of a last name.