How Much Does Your Husband Helps With Childcare and Housework?

[Anonymous]

I think I do everything (I do). He thinks he helps a lot (he doesn’t). But he makes a lot of money.

[Anonymous]

Man, I read through 2 page and I am the first to suggest that actually "help" with childcare and housework is a bit offensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man, I read through 2 page and I am the first to suggest that actually "help" with childcare and housework is a bit offensive.

Well, then work on reading comprehension. At least two people have mentioned it, another implied it. Here's one from the second page:

It’s not HELPING. My husband is just as responsible for housework as I am. He doesn’t help anymore than I do. The subject of your post is sexist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I do everything (I do). He thinks he helps a lot (he doesn’t). But he makes a lot of money.

Well there is that. Does he care if you hire help for various things if needed?

[Anonymous]

Sad to admit but DH does the vast majority of the housework including grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning. I have the kids more as I'm working from home but they are pretty independent.

[Anonymous]

We both work, outsource most household duties. Husband is a hands on actively involved with our kids.

[Anonymous]

My husband doesn't help with childcare and housework. He does half the childcare and housework, as they're his kids and house too. We both work full time (and make approx. the same $$)

[Anonymous]

DH cooks 99% of the time, cleans the dishes 99% of the time, grocery shops 99% of the time. Because I hate that $hit and he knew what he was getting into in those regards.

I do the laundry, clean the bathrooms and we both tidy up around the house.

DC is 13 and we both parent equally.

[Anonymous]

I have a 4-month-old and went back to work PT ( 3 days) a month ago. We have family who helps on their days while we both working from home. My husband is a very involved father and partner. We divide up housework because we both have things we don’t like doing. He cooks most of time, does the dishes, and takes out the trash. I do the meal prep, laundry, and cleaning the common areas. I handle all of the grocery shopping ( we get it delivered) and ordering supplies for the house. We have a housekeeper come bi-weekly that does the deep cleaning.

He parents just as much as I do. We switch off days of putting him to bed. We both spend time with him during the weekdays and weekends. We get solo time on the weekends when both of us get some time to ourselves. I do a little more childcare but I work less.

[Anonymous]

This is the major wedge in our marriage. I do most of the housework/chores, etc., but my husband is under the impression that he equally helps out. He does not. Here's what my husband does: dishes, takes out trash/recycling, helps out with bedtime/bathtime, takes the dog for one out of two daily walks, and helps the older one with her homework, and pays the bills (most of those are on autopayment). That's it. Those six things and makes dinner from time to time. I do EVERYTHING else, yet in his head he's doing much more than those above mentioned items. I do all the cleaning, organizing, deep cleaning, laundry, de-cluttering. I don't think my husband has cleaned a toilet maybe ever. Not sure he knows what a baseboard is or why one would need to be wiped down from time to time. If it were not for me, my children would be living under a mountain of clutter with things completely disorganized and in disarray. I do most of the cooking, except for a few dinner items that he prefers to make. I do the majority of the food shopping except now his big thing is Target curbside pick-ups, so he'll place those and pick them up. I make all the appointments, registrations for things like camp etc., school forms, extracurricular activities. I buy the kids clothes, bday gifts, whatever it is they need for school, for sports, etc. Sure my husband will take them to activities, but never actually plans for any of this. I arrange for all the house maintenance if something needs repair or upkeep. We have someone mow our lawn and trim bushes, but we don't have 50 acres and honestly one of us could do it. I do light house type work, like painting or touch-ups or hanging pictures, fixing a loose fixture--like stuff you'd except the DH to do. Family trips? He'll make the airline arrangements and I do everything else (pack the kids, pack the car, etc.). And we both work full-time. I've come to accept that this is the way it is. It would just be nice if he acknowledged that this is not a 50/50 split, but I've given up on that now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the major wedge in our marriage. I do most of the housework/chores, etc., but my husband is under the impression that he equally helps out. He does not. Here's what my husband does: dishes, takes out trash/recycling, helps out with bedtime/bathtime, takes the dog for one out of two daily walks, and helps the older one with her homework, and pays the bills (most of those are on autopayment). That's it. Those six things and makes dinner from time to time. I do EVERYTHING else, yet in his head he's doing much more than those above mentioned items. I do all the cleaning, organizing, deep cleaning, laundry, de-cluttering. I don't think my husband has cleaned a toilet maybe ever. Not sure he knows what a baseboard is or why one would need to be wiped down from time to time. If it were not for me, my children would be living under a mountain of clutter with things completely disorganized and in disarray. I do most of the cooking, except for a few dinner items that he prefers to make. I do the majority of the food shopping except now his big thing is Target curbside pick-ups, so he'll place those and pick them up. I make all the appointments, registrations for things like camp etc., school forms, extracurricular activities. I buy the kids clothes, bday gifts, whatever it is they need for school, for sports, etc. Sure my husband will take them to activities, but never actually plans for any of this. I arrange for all the house maintenance if something needs repair or upkeep. We have someone mow our lawn and trim bushes, but we don't have 50 acres and honestly one of us could do it. I do light house type work, like painting or touch-ups or hanging pictures, fixing a loose fixture--like stuff you'd except the DH to do. Family trips? He'll make the airline arrangements and I do everything else (pack the kids, pack the car, etc.). And we both work full-time. I've come to accept that this is the way it is. It would just be nice if he acknowledged that this is not a 50/50 split, but I've given up on that now.

scorekeeper alert.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the major wedge in our marriage. I do most of the housework/chores, etc., but my husband is under the impression that he equally helps out. He does not. Here's what my husband does: dishes, takes out trash/recycling, helps out with bedtime/bathtime, takes the dog for one out of two daily walks, and helps the older one with her homework, and pays the bills (most of those are on autopayment). That's it. Those six things and makes dinner from time to time. I do EVERYTHING else, yet in his head he's doing much more than those above mentioned items. I do all the cleaning, organizing, deep cleaning, laundry, de-cluttering. I don't think my husband has cleaned a toilet maybe ever. Not sure he knows what a baseboard is or why one would need to be wiped down from time to time. If it were not for me, my children would be living under a mountain of clutter with things completely disorganized and in disarray. I do most of the cooking, except for a few dinner items that he prefers to make. I do the majority of the food shopping except now his big thing is Target curbside pick-ups, so he'll place those and pick them up. I make all the appointments, registrations for things like camp etc., school forms, extracurricular activities. I buy the kids clothes, bday gifts, whatever it is they need for school, for sports, etc. Sure my husband will take them to activities, but never actually plans for any of this. I arrange for all the house maintenance if something needs repair or upkeep. We have someone mow our lawn and trim bushes, but we don't have 50 acres and honestly one of us could do it. I do light house type work, like painting or touch-ups or hanging pictures, fixing a loose fixture--like stuff you'd except the DH to do. Family trips? He'll make the airline arrangements and I do everything else (pack the kids, pack the car, etc.). And we both work full-time. I've come to accept that this is the way it is. It would just be nice if he acknowledged that this is not a 50/50 split, but I've given up on that now.

I equate my husband’s view of splitting housework to being the first roommate to move out. He takes about half of the bigger stuff that’s easy to see. I take on the other half of that plus all of the little miscellaneous stuff that you tend to ignore. He gets a couch and a lamp. I get a couch and a lamp plus the old bottle of draino, half a box of spaghetti, and the chili powder that spilled three months ago in the back of the pantry.