S/O Would it be okay to celebrate Jewish holidays at home, as a non-Jew, to explore conversion?

[Anonymous]

I converted and not due to marriage. You will definitely be unique in that regard and stand out.

The into to Judaism classes are great, and I second starting with the major holidays.

Read the book Sabbath. That’s the weekly holiday.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure where your Catholic people come from but there are groups of “Catholics” in the southwest who are descended from Jews. The “Catholics” grew up lighting candles on Friday nights never knowing it was a tradition handed down by their Jewish ancestors who hid their Judaism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You really need to celebrate with Jews. Just reading about it and trying the prayers out yourself would not get the right feel of the holiday. And Judaism is about community... we never celebrate on our own.

Obviously that’s very hard to do during Covid. Maybe you can hold off until next year and try then.

But offensive? No, it’s not offensive.

Well, that's not really true. A lot of observance is personal / in the home. Shabbat, for example. Yeah, you can go to services, but it's also perfectly fine to make Shabbat at home and that's what most people do. Sukkot. Pesach. Hanukkah. There are services one could go to for these, but the primary observance is at home.

However, I'm not sure that just trying out the prayers at home would be very meaningful without some context? That's for OP to decide but I'd think some education/watching others do it would be helpful. By way of comparison, I spent a couple of years in Japan and visited a ton of temples (Buddhist) and shrines (Shinto). You can read all you want about how to act, what to do, what the prayers mean, but there is no substitute for watching adherents perform the actions and seeing what it means to them. Of course I wasn't planning on converting, but I did want to be respectful. You don't want to run up and hit the large gong if that's not what you're supposed to do, or hit it in the wrong frame of mind. Etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not sure where your Catholic people come from but there are groups of “Catholics” in the southwest who are descended from Jews. The “Catholics” grew up lighting candles on Friday nights never knowing it was a tradition handed down by their Jewish ancestors who hid their Judaism.

Conversos. A lot of families descended from Jews who stayed in Spain rather than being expelled -- these were forcible conversions and many kept their traditions on the down-low.

[Anonymous]

I'm also considering converting, so have a particular interest in your question. I'm married to a very non-practicing Jew, but like the religion and am far more active in it than he is.

From my experience celebrating/observing holidays on my own, I will say that I don't think you're going to figure out much about Judaism or whether it resonates with you by DIY or observing holidays at home. That said, the timing of your curiosity/quest is great, because almost all synagogues are having services online now (although it does seem like many are to allow kids to do their b'nai mitvah that have been scheduled for years). These services are open to the public to view remotely. I recommend you find several local Reform synagogues, find the service times, (typically Friday evening about 6:30, Sunday morning about 10 or 10:30, and sometimes Saturday evening about % or 5:30). You can watch different services, get a sense of how different clergy lead, and deepen your understanding of the religion.

If you post where you live, others may be willing to recommend synagogues you can look into now that would also be convenient if you decide to move forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm also considering converting, so have a particular interest in your question. I'm married to a very non-practicing Jew, but like the religion and am far more active in it than he is.

From my experience celebrating/observing holidays on my own, I will say that I don't think you're going to figure out much about Judaism or whether it resonates with you by DIY or observing holidays at home. That said, the timing of your curiosity/quest is great, because almost all synagogues are having services online now (although it does seem like many are to allow kids to do their b'nai mitvah that have been scheduled for years). These services are open to the public to view remotely. I recommend you find several local Reform synagogues, find the service times, (typically Friday evening about 6:30, Sunday morning about 10 or 10:30, and sometimes Saturday evening about % or 5:30). You can watch different services, get a sense of how different clergy lead, and deepen your understanding of the religion.

If you post where you live, others may be willing to recommend synagogues you can look into now that would also be convenient if you decide to move forward.

That's a good thought! Online services -- perfect way to try it out. Our Conservative shul - Beth El in Montgomery County - is doing those too and they are pretty welcoming, in case OP wants to try out Conservative as well as Reform services.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you believe in the Old Testament?
if you do then its fine......If you do not believe then I dont know why you would celebrate it.

Requiring strict adherence to the Old Testament as the threshold for conversion is a bar that 99% of modern Jews wouldn't clear, certainly outside of ultra-orthodoxy. Even among those who strictly observe the Sabbath, you don't see them going around murdering people who don't (commanded in Numbers), or killing those who try to convert people to other religions (commanded in Deuteronomy).

I mean, what does it mean to "believe in" the Old Testament when the first two chapters of Genesis aren't even consistent with their creation narratives?

OP, I think the responses to this thread are probably instructive to you in their divergence. I think what you see is not a lot of "offense" about wanting to explore Judaism, some questioning why you'd do it or whether it's right for you, some occasional criticism that you're cherry-picking the "fun parts," etc. But no one really thinks it's "not okay" for you to explore. I personally think the first step for you is to learn about it in a deep way. Not just trying out the actions on the holidays, but really study the Hebrew bible (which you can do on your own through good translations and commentary, even "academic" commentary), and see whether it speaks to you. If the text doesn't speak to you at least on some level, it is probably hard to go much further in practicing the religion.