Just found out husband has job in Chelsea and we have 3 teens (currently in DC)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Westfield NJ has a great downtown, has nonstop train to Newark and then he can change to PATH or Penn Station. GREAT high school, but very high property taxes. Also let's discuss how awesome the food is in Jersey and how I am so sad I can't eat at a restaurant and BYOB like I do back home. I am jealous OP. Have a bagel and go down the shore for me.

Yep. It's really one of my favorite places I've ever lived.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’re having heart failure, should you guys perhaps consider not moving? Do you want to move?

This
Really

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Original Poster here. Thanks so much to everyone for making the effort to respond. I am very grateful. My husband does not seem keen on a daily commute so we have decided that he will get an apartment in walking distance to his new office.
We have abandoned the idea of NYC private schools, and so now we will have a few months to try to figure out the public school system as it does not seem straightforward.
Having just been through the private school application process I am left wondering why is figuring out the school system always so hard?? Surely it should be more straightforward given that everyone has to navigate it in their own way.
Regardless thank you again. I had not considered New Jersey and yet that is where everyone seems to be pointing me so that is where I will start.
Happy holidays to all.

New Yorker here with two kids who graduated from public high schools. The process is similar to the medical residency match - you rank schools, schools rank you. The criteria are not standardized, each school has their own rubric. On top of that, with the pandemic, many of those are not applicable anymore- interviews are not being done, tests are not being given, last years grades are not available- many got pass/fail. I don’t think anyone will be able to figure it out now.

[Anonymous]

PP. Forgot to add, there is a lot of political pressure from the equity contingent to completely scrap the whole system. They couldn’t push it through before, but with all the changes due to the pandemic, they might just do it this year while everyone is disoriented.

[Anonymous]

North shore of Long Island; Centerport, Northport, greenlawn. Great schools, close to sound and ocean, great restaurants, good solid people with NYC efficiency but a slightly slower pace.

[Anonymous]

I would never move my kids mid-high school.

He should commute to NYC leaving Monday am, returning Th or F afternoon.

I have multiple friends that do this.

Get an apartment close-ish to work.

[Anonymous]

Morristown, NJ is right on the train line as well. It also has good schools and a great downtown.

[Anonymous]

If I worked in Chelsea, I'd be looking at NJ over CT in a heart beat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Original Poster here. Thanks so much to everyone for making the effort to respond. I am very grateful. My husband does not seem keen on a daily commute so we have decided that he will get an apartment in walking distance to his new office.
We have abandoned the idea of NYC private schools, and so now we will have a few months to try to figure out the public school system as it does not seem straightforward.
Having just been through the private school application process I am left wondering why is figuring out the school system always so hard?? Surely it should be more straightforward given that everyone has to navigate it in their own way.
Regardless thank you again. I had not considered New Jersey and yet that is where everyone seems to be pointing me so that is where I will start.
Happy holidays to all.

If he is getting an nyc apartment anyhow, why not stay in DC and have him fly gone for the weekends? That way everyone can keep their lives more in tact.

+100 seems like a no brainer!

[Anonymous]

Wait am I understanding correctly - your husband doesn’t want a commute from the nj suburbs so will get a pied a terre for that? If so that’s nuts. Fine to get the apt by the job but you & the kids stay here and he commutes weekly

[Anonymous]

My DH used to "commute" to CA for 3 years. He would leave Sunday afternoon, travel back Thursday evening, WFH on Friday. DC to NYC seems SO much easier than that. Get a small apartment close to work, but big enough that there is a place for five of you to sleep for trips into the city.

[Anonymous]

You could live on the upper west side and he could cycle down to work each day.

[Anonymous]

Your husband should just take the train up to NY Monday morning and come home Friday night. Alternatively, he could rent parking spot drive weekly.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, we're a NY-DC split family. Not such a big deal to do the commute, especially with older kids. Kids will likely be much happier not to be completely uprooted if they're in or approaching HS.

NY is great, but I can't imagine convincing my kids to give up their current life for the 'experience'.

[Anonymous]

What’s your house budget? Hoboken NJ is a 20 min commute. But expect to pay 2 million and you for a somewhat updated townhouse and 26k for private in town (just one, so this assumes you get in). Or 45k if you bus you kids to Dwight englewood.

It’s still way more affordable than NYC.