My friend died.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I'll answer the question of how she died because I really want to say something anonymously.

She died of cancer. Before her diagnosis YEARS ago, she had a huge amount of stress going on (bad marriage, but then her H got cancer and died and one of her three kids was about 13 or so--I can't remember. The other two were in college.) The youngest became difficult, and she also had a stressful boss.

She said that at that time, she was just trying to get by and was eating crap (drive-through crap and Big Gulps etc), and not sleeping or exercising. She believed the stress plus the lack of self care was the reason for the onset of her disease.

She snapped out of it, took charge of her health and got a great doctor. She had it under control! She was maintaining fine for years. She was amazing, so positive.

Anyways, LSS, her youngest, now about 30, still lived at home and he was a very difficult adult. I think he was mentally ill and she felt she had to be there for him. But he put her through hell. I heard story after story; unbelievable.

She had another son who ended up living at home for a brief time, and those two fought. She was a totally stressed out and felt she had to "monitor" them to keep it from getting too violent.

I don't want to tell the stories in detail, but it's stuff that is so off the charts involving guns and prison. And general meanness...meanness and lack of gratitude for all she would do for them.

Anyways I would never say this out loud but here we are anonymous, so I want to say that I believe her cancer progressed because she those adult kids just ignored how much stress they were putting her under.

And I know of course that it takes two to tango and she should have established better boundaries etc.

SO what I also want to say is, I watched this whole thing. Her health went up and down with her stress level. It was a revelation to see this cause and effect. It was like watching an experiment, although obviously I'm not detached so it was also like helplessly watching a train wreck.

[Anonymous]

so sorry. cant imagine how hard this is for you.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry. May she Rest In Peace.

[Anonymous]

This is very sad. The bright spot is that she had the love and support of a genuine friend in her life (you). My sincere condolences. I have no doubt that you’re presence in her life was a gift.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry, OP.