Day long argument about a stupid puppy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Now is not the right time for you to get a puppy. Get on the same page relationship wise and figure out inlaw boundaries first. Better to sort this out before puppies or kids.

+1 This really is not about puppies but about your DH prioritizing his mother over you.

No it’s about OP wanting to control everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Now is not the right time for you to get a puppy. Get on the same page relationship wise and figure out inlaw boundaries first. Better to sort this out before puppies or kids.

+1 This really is not about puppies but about your DH prioritizing his mother over you.

-1 He isn't prioritizing his mother. He knows she was happy with her dog, likes the breed of dog she got, and thinks it's a good idea to go with a known breeder. Frankly it's just easier for him to go with that known breeder than to research other options.

I happen to agree with OP's stance on going with a different breeder and think both should step back and 1) make sure they want a dog, 2) select the right breed and 3) research other breeders and perhaps goldendoodle rescue groups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're fighting now, about where to get a puppy, just imagine the fights you'll be having over puppy antics and training philosophy!

Haha!

Can you imagine if they have a baby???

Hopefully they are more familiar with the breeder!

[Anonymous]

Opie you should approach your husband with the health aspect of the dog and how his quality-of-life will be well into adulthood. Not to mention the money. In my 20s I got a small dog from what I now realize was it not so reputable breeder and he had a handful of health issues which cost a lot of money and a lot of heartache. Heart murmur at a young age, thin retina’s which caused eventual blindness when he was very young, early cataracts, glaucoma to which he lost an eye, and he eventually died from an enlarged heart at around 13 years old.

I loved him so much and I will never regret having him but bad breeding often causes these things and they won’t show up for a few years.

[Anonymous]

PP again - all this to say I would not ever recommend getting a dog from a puppy mill or an unresponsible backyard breeder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Now is not the right time for you to get a puppy. Get on the same page relationship wise and figure out inlaw boundaries first. Better to sort this out before puppies or kids.

+1 This really is not about puppies but about your DH prioritizing his mother over you.

-1 He isn't prioritizing his mother. He knows she was happy with her dog, likes the breed of dog she got, and thinks it's a good idea to go with a known breeder. Frankly it's just easier for him to go with that known breeder than to research other options.

I happen to agree with OP's stance on going with a different breeder and think both should step back and 1) make sure they want a dog, 2) select the right breed and 3) research other breeders and perhaps goldendoodle rescue groups.

Sure he is. As OP said:

he is trivializing my legitimate concerns because he doesn't want to tell his mommy that we'd go with another farm.

[Anonymous]

I hate breeders but, I would not fight with my DH about this. Pick your battles, put your marriage first.

I do wonder why you are married to a guy who would support puppy mills however.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rescue is the way to go!!!!

Every rescue dog I know is crazy, including my own. I can deal with it, but it's not easy. We will never be able to go to a dog park. My dog will never retrieve a stick or ball. My dog can never be let outside without a leash or he will run away.

It's fine, we love him. But most people should not get a rescue dog unless they are up for the challenges.

You clearly didn't hire a trainer for your dog, which most rescues recommended.
That's your fault. Not the dogs.
All of those problems can be fixed by a trainer, they're not difficult to fix.

[Anonymous]

You like the MILs dog, why is this such a big deal?

I can understand not wanting to use a puppy mill, but at least you all know what you are getting.

[Anonymous]

My ILs tried giving us a stray cat once. No way. If it's a living thing, you get to pick it out. Who is your DH siding with, his mother or you? He needs to grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Now is not the right time for you to get a puppy. Get on the same page relationship wise and figure out inlaw boundaries first. Better to sort this out before puppies or kids.

+1 This really is not about puppies but about your DH prioritizing his mother over you.

-1 He isn't prioritizing his mother. He knows she was happy with her dog, likes the breed of dog she got, and thinks it's a good idea to go with a known breeder. Frankly it's just easier for him to go with that known breeder than to research other options.

I happen to agree with OP's stance on going with a different breeder and think both should step back and 1) make sure they want a dog, 2) select the right breed and 3) research other breeders and perhaps goldendoodle rescue groups.

OP didn't say anything about wanting a goldendoodle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rescue is the way to go!!!!

Every rescue dog I know is crazy, including my own. I can deal with it, but it's not easy. We will never be able to go to a dog park. My dog will never retrieve a stick or ball. My dog can never be let outside without a leash or he will run away.

It's fine, we love him. But most people should not get a rescue dog unless they are up for the challenges.

You clearly didn't hire a trainer for your dog, which most rescues recommended.
That's your fault. Not the dogs.
All of those problems can be fixed by a trainer, they're not difficult to fix.

I love rescues, and have only ever had rescue dogs, but it is definitely not true that every behavioral problem can be corrected through training. Brain plasticity and the neural pathways that are carved in the first months of a dog’s life can have permanent effects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rescue is the way to go!!!!

Every rescue dog I know is crazy, including my own. I can deal with it, but it's not easy. We will never be able to go to a dog park. My dog will never retrieve a stick or ball. My dog can never be let outside without a leash or he will run away.

It's fine, we love him. But most people should not get a rescue dog unless they are up for the challenges.

You clearly didn't hire a trainer for your dog, which most rescues recommended.
That's your fault. Not the dogs.
All of those problems can be fixed by a trainer, they're not difficult to fix.

I totally agree.
A rescue is a dog that's been thorough $hit, even if it's just being rehomed. They don't feel safe and secure and their behavior is going to reflect that. This seems like a classic case of untreated anxiety + insecurity. Get your dog a trainer!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rescue is the way to go!!!!

Every rescue dog I know is crazy, including my own. I can deal with it, but it's not easy. We will never be able to go to a dog park. My dog will never retrieve a stick or ball. My dog can never be let outside without a leash or he will run away.

It's fine, we love him. But most people should not get a rescue dog unless they are up for the challenges.

You clearly didn't hire a trainer for your dog, which most rescues recommended.
That's your fault. Not the dogs.
All of those problems can be fixed by a trainer, they're not difficult to fix.

I love rescues, and have only ever had rescue dogs, but it is definitely not true that every behavioral problem can be corrected through training. Brain plasticity and the neural pathways that are carved in the first months of a dog’s life can have permanent effects.

Yeah, but rescuesc are usually astute to the issues that dogs they're trying to rehome have.
If a dog is like this, they recommend training.
If a dog has really deep down and severe issues, they will recommend that this dog go to a specific owner that has the time and patience to work with it. The issues the pp described are not incurable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am against getting any dogs. Dogs are not endangered animals and they are terrible for the environment.

But, I see no problem from getting it from the Amish vs a breeder vs rescue.

If you don't buy from the Amish, these puppys will become rescues. So, if you decide to get a dog (please pick up their poop and discard in your own trash can), then go with the dog you want. Regardless of where you get it from.

You think people should only adopt endangered species?