Day long argument about a stupid puppy

[Anonymous]

The puppy search should be halted until you both are on the same page. I agree with you, don't go with the Amish puppy mill. Don't give money to people that torture puppies.

If you can do some research that shows or describes the awful conditions of these puppy mills, then sit down with him at a time you are both calm and try to explain to him why you are concerned and cannot in good conscience go with the puppy mill.

You both are going to have to take care of this dog for many years, so you need to really talk this through first. Dogs are a lot of work, this is not the only area that you two will need to agree on something dog related.

This can get you started:
http://michiganpuppymills.com/the-amish-exposed.php
https://www.animaladvocatesscpa.com/blog/post/amish-animal-cruelty-unexpected-mix/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree. Forcing dogs to f*ck in a cage. Get out of here. You dont deserve a dog.

+1

Horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Breeders are breeders. Why pay more when it’s essentially the same? This has nothing to do with his mother. He’s opting to go with the less costly option from a known breeder who produces dogs with good temperaments.

You are projecting a lot.

Really? Puppy mills and high quality breeders are the same?

https://cuddly.com/donate/4403223/miracle

[Anonymous]

Your MIL didn't do anything wrong. Her reaching out to her own breeder to get information on upcoming litters was innocent, so release your anger about that.

Did you take the pets' board advice to show your husband videos regarding the Amish dog breeders?

You are in a better position to select a different breeder if you can present him with some options you've researched independently. Bonus points if your breeder can provide you with references for happy customers in your town.

This isn't really a pets question though. It's about how you two handle disagreements in a marriage. Be respectful, present your position, don't bring up the MIL.

[Anonymous]

Look into other dogs besides goldendoodles. If you tell your husband you want more time to consider other breeds, it becomes less about your MIL's breeder and more about finding the dog that is right for the two of you. There are lots of other options, even options that are small, shed less, good natured etc, all those traits you seem to be looking for. There's even other doodle options - bernedoodles, sheepadoodles. Just because she has a golden doodle doesn't mean that needs to be what you choose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are in our early/mid thirties. My husband has been on a puppy kick lately. My in laws brought home an adorable and happy little puppy last year. Since then, we have grown close to her and love her. We decided we wanted a puppy just like her. I started researching and have been contacting some reputable breeders. Meanwhile my MIL has also been searching for breeders for our puppy apparently. She reached out to her dog breeder and lo and behold they have a litter coming up very soon. I was a little skeptical as I sensed she got her puppy from a puppy mill and when I was given the contact information my suspicions were confirmed. They are a small farm and Amish.

Husband if offended and says he will not go to a "bougie fancy puppy mill" and will only get a puppy if we go to the same farm as the one his mom went to as we know and love the first dog that came from there.

I feel offended and hurt that his mom even had any say in this. And that he is trivializing my legitimate concerns because he doesn't want to tell his mommy that we'd go with another farm.

What in the actual he!L are you talking about? You sound like a moron. Someone just did all of the work for you to get a puppy. Unless you have legitimate concerns about the health of the dog then take about a million chill pills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rescue is the way to go!!!!

Every rescue dog I know is crazy, including my own. I can deal with it, but it's not easy. We will never be able to go to a dog park. My dog will never retrieve a stick or ball. My dog can never be let outside without a leash or he will run away.

It's fine, we love him. But most people should not get a rescue dog unless they are up for the challenges.

[Anonymous]

If the puppy is so stupid, why did you fight for a whole day about it? Either it's important, and worth fighting over, or it is stupid, and you should have let it go.

[Anonymous]

You are jealous of his mom. Weird. Get over it or you are going to be in for a lot of stupid fights.

[Anonymous]

My biggest concern would be if the Amish farm is vaccinating the animals properly. Dogs from good breeders are expensive because they properly do vaccinations, train the animals, and responsibly breed the animals. What looks like a good deal from the Amish farm might have expensive problems like health issues earlier in life than expected.

[Anonymous]

Reputable breeders and Amish puppy mills are NOT the same. OP, you are right to be concerned. And it is weird that your husband is putting his foot down on doing the exact same thing as his mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rescue is the way to go!!!!

Every rescue dog I know is crazy, including my own. I can deal with it, but it's not easy. We will never be able to go to a dog park. My dog will never retrieve a stick or ball. My dog can never be let outside without a leash or he will run away.

It's fine, we love him. But most people should not get a rescue dog unless they are up for the challenges.

This is so not true - I have two rescues and they have perfect temperaments and are amazing dogs. Just because you go a crazy dog, didn't do your due diligence to find a good fit, or didn't put in the time for training, don't blame rescue dogs and paint them all with a broad brush.

Most people I know have rescue dogs and they are all normal and well-adjusted dogs, great with kids, etc. The most neurotic, problematic dog I know is a tiny teacup type thing from a breeder.

[Anonymous]

Nobody rescues puppies because nobody gives up puppies, at least not tiny ones.

If you like your mother-in-law’s dog, then it would make sense to get your dog from the same place.

I’m not sure why you’re arguing this point given that the dog will be with you for years and this outfit has proven they do good work with the thing you are bringing home.

Are you upset about the puppy mill aspect, or are you upset that another woman’s input was inserted into a decision and event that should have rightfully been between the two of you?

Also, you seem a bit silly expecting a dog that will be “just like” your mother-in-law’s. Living beings don’t work that way.

Go to whatever place you like and find a dog you bond with. I knew we’d found our dog when he gave me a hug. That gesture mattered to me.

As for the person who said don’t get a dog because they aren’t endangered, your attitude is what makes people just not give an s*** about “the environment”. Dogs do great things for my mental health. Pandas are cute, but I can’t interact with them. At least the dogs I’ve known and loved care about me.
Also, the environment is there to serve me, not for me to serve it. I’ll treat it well, but I won’t not enjoy animals I love because other animals happen to be endangered. That’s like saying I won’t eat dinner because someone I don’t know and can’t help is starving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody rescues puppies because nobody gives up puppies, at least not tiny ones.

If you like your mother-in-law’s dog, then it would make sense to get your dog from the same place.

I’m not sure why you’re arguing this point given that the dog will be with you for years and this outfit has proven they do good work with the thing you are bringing home.

Are you upset about the puppy mill aspect, or are you upset that another woman’s input was inserted into a decision and event that should have rightfully been between the two of you?

Also, you seem a bit silly expecting a dog that will be “just like” your mother-in-law’s. Living beings don’t work that way.

Go to whatever place you like and find a dog you bond with. I knew we’d found our dog when he gave me a hug. That gesture mattered to me.

As for the person who said don’t get a dog because they aren’t endangered, your attitude is what makes people just not give an s*** about “the environment”. Dogs do great things for my mental health. Pandas are cute, but I can’t interact with them. At least the dogs I’ve known and loved care about me.
Also, the environment is there to serve me, not for me to serve it. I’ll treat it well, but I won’t not enjoy animals I love because other animals happen to be endangered. That’s like saying I won’t eat dinner because someone I don’t know and can’t help is starving.

The bolded sentence is so flagrantly wrong that everything else in your post can be discounted as the musings of an ignoramus.

-Dog foster mom who typically takes puppies.

[Anonymous]

Now is not the right time for you to get a puppy. Get on the same page relationship wise and figure out inlaw boundaries first. Better to sort this out before puppies or kids.

+1 This really is not about puppies but about your DH prioritizing his mother over you.