S/O: If your kid is truly gifted, what could they do at a young age that made you suspect it?

[Anonymous]

Op, these might be helpful

https://www.nagc.org/resources-publications/resources/my-child-gifted/common-characteristics-gifted-individuals

https://www.nagc.org/sites/default/files/Publication%20PHP/NAGC-TIP%20Sheets-Gifted%20101.pdf


As others said, it’s a bit hard to explain and you’ve already seen some posters take it as bragging or competitiveness.

[Anonymous]

The kid that all the teachers gushed about when my kids are in school never went to college and works in a daycare center, so clearly early signs aren't everything. THere's a long way between here and there. The other child that everyone gushed about is literally in jail. And these are all UMC people, good homes. You just never know, but I'm pretty sure that in the long run that extra 15 minutes of "screen time" and that extra serving of organic cheesy bunnies, instead of goldfish, really isn't making the difference that you think it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a NP and request more stories like the UNO child, please! I know not all folks with genius-level IQs are early readers.

Yes, curious for stories that aren't just "could read Harry Potter by Kindergarten." That doesn't seem necessary nor sufficient for giftedness.

I'm one of 4 siblings all highly gifted.
I read at age 4. Came from a dysfunctional home so taught myself a lot. Up to calculus because my high school didn't offer it.

My younger sister never forgets a phone number after hearing it once. She started a non profit organization in 10th grade which is still going strong and now employs 10 people. She is now 28. Consider that she had zero family support.

2 out of my 4 siblings skipped and were then valedictorian of their grades (250+ students).

Our home was dysfunctional, dinner or food wasn't always available and we did our own laundry from age 6. We are all well adjusted successful adults and the one who isn't married has a very good job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another formerly gifted kid (plus ADHD) here. As a child I learned things quickly and easily. You rarely had to tell me anything a second time, I taught myself to read at 3 or 4, and I never scored below the 98-99th percentile on standardized tests.

I agree that I would prefer my kids to be above average, but not gifted. I coasted through school and never learned how to work hard or overcome a challenge. Fine as a student, but detrimental in real life and in the working world. An above average kid that learns to work hard and be kind is going to be able to do anything they want. It doesn't take a 140+ IQ to be successful, it takes learned skills and enough intelligence not to struggle through the basics.

I have a genius IQ and no friends. Was a SAHM for awhile but had nothing in common with the other SAHMS. Literally only get along with them when we've all been drinking. Not sure that you really want to wish that on your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a NP and request more stories like the UNO child, please! I know not all folks with genius-level IQs are early readers.

Yes, curious for stories that aren't just "could read Harry Potter by Kindergarten." That doesn't seem necessary nor sufficient for giftedness.

Pay attention to what PPs are saying - you can tell a gifted kid because they learn without having to be taught. They figure everything out by themselves - from observation or by thinking about it on their own. You tell them A, and they apply it to figure out B, C, D, etc. It's not about meeting milestones early or specific parlor tricks, it's about how they interact with the world and learn "by osmosis."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My oldest is bright and I always thought he was gifted until I had my second.

I am not even sure I could explain it. It goes beyond knowing numbers, letters and or even an advanced vocabulary. She just understand everything. At age 4 we could have in-depth conversations in a way that I couldn’t even have with my at the time 7yr old. I have never had to sit down and teacher her anything. When she was 5 and we were playing UNO she had memorized how many of each kind of card were in the deck and when you played a card she had figured out the odds you would have certain colors/cards. You couldn’t beat her. She is still that way with almost any board game that isn’t 100% luck.

Teach her how to play black jack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another formerly gifted kid (plus ADHD) here. As a child I learned things quickly and easily. You rarely had to tell me anything a second time, I taught myself to read at 3 or 4, and I never scored below the 98-99th percentile on standardized tests.

I agree that I would prefer my kids to be above average, but not gifted. I coasted through school and never learned how to work hard or overcome a challenge. Fine as a student, but detrimental in real life and in the working world. An above average kid that learns to work hard and be kind is going to be able to do anything they want. It doesn't take a 140+ IQ to be successful, it takes learned skills and enough intelligence not to struggle through the basics.

I have a genius IQ and no friends. Was a SAHM for awhile but had nothing in common with the other SAHMS. Literally only get along with them when we've all been drinking. Not sure that you really want to wish that on your kids.

I am the PP w adhd. I don't limit my circles to SAHM.. My SAHM friends are great for their topics of interest. Our kids play together more because they are more available for example I am also friends with doctors, lawyers, professors, nurses... Yes it is harder to maintain relationships with working moms but I have found it is very valuable and helps me maintain some perspective.

One thing you can do is position yourself as some kind of leader - even just the admin of the whatsapp group. That way, you get to know lots of people and pick the ones you like as friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a NP and request more stories like the UNO child, please! I know not all folks with genius-level IQs are early readers.

Yes, curious for stories that aren't just "could read Harry Potter by Kindergarten." That doesn't seem necessary nor sufficient for giftedness.

Pay attention to what PPs are saying - you can tell a gifted kid because they learn without having to be taught. They figure everything out by themselves - from observation or by thinking about it on their own. You tell them A, and they apply it to figure out B, C, D, etc. It's not about meeting milestones early or specific parlor tricks, it's about how they interact with the world and learn "by osmosis."

I was paying attention, but sincere thank you for distilling it in this way.

I wonder because I have an official "genius" level IQ, but I also read very early etc. My child was not an early reader. It just didn't click for her-- past grade level, anyway-- until recently (7). I feel I shouldn't care if she's gifted, but I wonder... also knowing many genius former classmates who didn't read well until 6-8. But of course I didn't observe them as an adult when they were young kids.

She is as described, basically. Very observant, makes connections easily. Also figuring out a lot of mathematical concepts intuitively. Time will tell, I guess.

[Anonymous]

jsmith123 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very difficult to suss out without a professional evaluating your specific kid.

I'll just give you my own experience:

Unlike PP's children, I was not reading Harry Potter-type books at 5/6 years old. I starting read by about 4.5, but it was simple books. That said, my parents got me tested for admission to a magnet kindergarten program; my IQ came out at 147.

I never had trouble in school, graduated from a top prep school with honors and from a top research university magna cum laude. Am I gifted? I suppose my IQ would suggest so, but I was certainly not the smartest kid in my high school (though it's an extremely selective high school). If my IQ is 147, I would suspect I went to school with kids who have IQs in the 160s at least.

My 3 year old seems bright and inquisitive, but I'm really more concerned about her becoming a well-adjusted, compassionate and kind adult, than whether she is gifted or not. DH and I do not plan on getting her evaluated, unless it's mandated for a program we think she'd thrive in.

That's really unlikely. Either you are underselling yourself (particularly common with women), or your IQ is very unbalanced, e.g. only moderately gifted in most areas but highly gifted in one area that does not come up often in daily life, like spacial cognition, for example.

PP's description sounds very similar to me, and in fact there were multiple people at my high school with IQs in the 160 range. I went to a public high school near a university and most of the professors' kids were pretty bright.

Same. Even so, I wouldn't say any of those kids I went to school with wre "truly gifted." Just very, very smart (and some with very pushy parents, but not all.) The only child I've ever met who I immediately said was "truly gifted" is actually the child of two of those HS classmates whose respective brains combined in an amazing way. This kid was drawing amazingly realistic and creative pictures when he was 5 years old - as in so good I actually wanted to ask for one to just keep for myself as art. Art-art, not like "what a cute drawing." It was truly astonishing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a NP and request more stories like the UNO child, please! I know not all folks with genius-level IQs are early readers.

Yes, curious for stories that aren't just "could read Harry Potter by Kindergarten." That doesn't seem necessary nor sufficient for giftedness.

Pay attention to what PPs are saying - you can tell a gifted kid because they learn without having to be taught. They figure everything out by themselves - from observation or by thinking about it on their own. You tell them A, and they apply it to figure out B, C, D, etc. It's not about meeting milestones early or specific parlor tricks, it's about how they interact with the world and learn "by osmosis."

I was paying attention, but sincere thank you for distilling it in this way.

I wonder because I have an official "genius" level IQ, but I also read very early etc. My child was not an early reader. It just didn't click for her-- past grade level, anyway-- until recently (7). I feel I shouldn't care if she's gifted, but I wonder... also knowing many genius former classmates who didn't read well until 6-8. But of course I didn't observe them as an adult when they were young kids.

She is as described, basically. Very observant, makes connections easily. Also figuring out a lot of mathematical concepts intuitively. Time will tell, I guess.

She could be 99%. Truly gifted is more like 99.99%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

jsmith123 wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very difficult to suss out without a professional evaluating your specific kid.

I'll just give you my own experience:

Unlike PP's children, I was not reading Harry Potter-type books at 5/6 years old. I starting read by about 4.5, but it was simple books. That said, my parents got me tested for admission to a magnet kindergarten program; my IQ came out at 147.

I never had trouble in school, graduated from a top prep school with honors and from a top research university magna cum laude. Am I gifted? I suppose my IQ would suggest so, but I was certainly not the smartest kid in my high school (though it's an extremely selective high school). If my IQ is 147, I would suspect I went to school with kids who have IQs in the 160s at least.

My 3 year old seems bright and inquisitive, but I'm really more concerned about her becoming a well-adjusted, compassionate and kind adult, than whether she is gifted or not. DH and I do not plan on getting her evaluated, unless it's mandated for a program we think she'd thrive in.

That's really unlikely. Either you are underselling yourself (particularly common with women), or your IQ is very unbalanced, e.g. only moderately gifted in most areas but highly gifted in one area that does not come up often in daily life, like spacial cognition, for example.

PP's description sounds very similar to me, and in fact there were multiple people at my high school with IQs in the 160 range. I went to a public high school near a university and most of the professors' kids were pretty bright.

Same. Even so, I wouldn't say any of those kids I went to school with wre "truly gifted." Just very, very smart (and some with very pushy parents, but not all.) The only child I've ever met who I immediately said was "truly gifted" is actually the child of two of those HS classmates whose respective brains combined in an amazing way. This kid was drawing amazingly realistic and creative pictures when he was 5 years old - as in so good I actually wanted to ask for one to just keep for myself as art. Art-art, not like "what a cute drawing." It was truly astonishing.

I’m the PP who went to a very selective prep school. It was one of Andover/Exeter/Deerfield/Hotchkiss. Extremely difficult to get into.

I had a kid in my math class who contributed to the field of geometry with a meaningful original insight when he was in 10th grade. One of my other classmates curated her own anthropological exhibition when she was 16. She went on to earn a Rhodes Scholarship. Several got PhDs in fields like Physics and Biochemistry from Ivy League schools. The school had to offer open-ended seminars in math and all the sciences because there were routinely kids who would exhaust the entire curriculum (well past AP) before they graduated.

I’m a smart person who did well there and have succeeded in achieving my goals, but some of these kids were/are true geniuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a NP and request more stories like the UNO child, please! I know not all folks with genius-level IQs are early readers.

Yes, curious for stories that aren't just "could read Harry Potter by Kindergarten." That doesn't seem necessary nor sufficient for giftedness.

Pay attention to what PPs are saying - you can tell a gifted kid because they learn without having to be taught. They figure everything out by themselves - from observation or by thinking about it on their own. You tell them A, and they apply it to figure out B, C, D, etc. It's not about meeting milestones early or specific parlor tricks, it's about how they interact with the world and learn "by osmosis."

I was paying attention, but sincere thank you for distilling it in this way.

I wonder because I have an official "genius" level IQ, but I also read very early etc. My child was not an early reader. It just didn't click for her-- past grade level, anyway-- until recently (7). I feel I shouldn't care if she's gifted, but I wonder... also knowing many genius former classmates who didn't read well until 6-8. But of course I didn't observe them as an adult when they were young kids.

She is as described, basically. Very observant, makes connections easily. Also figuring out a lot of mathematical concepts intuitively. Time will tell, I guess.

A lot of profoundly gifted kids usually do meet their milestones (including things like reading) very early, and so your question/focus isn't misguided imo. They also do tend to have unique stories like the 2 year old who figured out even and odd numbers intuitively. It's not necessarily one or the other, as it's often both.

The difficulty in using milestones, and why you're getting push back, is that a lot of average and mildly gifted kids also meet some milestones very early too. Over time, their precociousness peters out as other kids catch up. Since there are statistically a lot more of them than the profoundly or highly gifted, most people have experience with that (i.e. all the stories about "that kid in preschool who appeared really precocious but turned out to be average.")

[Anonymous]

My DD is smart and quick and in the G & T program all that. My niece is profoundly gifted. We used to babysit her once a week and DH was in charge while I had a meeting so he showed her his telescope (age 5 I think) she asked for a book on space. He pulls out a book he has but it’s in Spanish so he’s reading it to her in English and she’s looking at the pictures and asks him if the long words in Spanish are like the long words in English because science words all come from the same place.

At age 6 she was in my DDs room looking for toys and instead wrote in and solved problems on 6 pages of her pre algebra textbook (I made my sister pay the fee for writing in the book)

[Anonymous]

My son was extraordinarily verbal and making unusual connections at a very young age. Example, age three: As sister bounced ping pong ball off various surfaces inside the minivan, son observed, “It’s like echolocation.” Private testing in second grade revealed he was reading and comprehending at the college sophomore level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was gifted, genius iq etc. I read through the world book encyclopedia in first grade, was a very poorly adjusted child, got average grades because I'd walk out of class and have no idea what was taught, standardized testing saved me because it played to my strengths. I literally had no idea what was taught in school until they'd hand me the test to take. There was standardized testing at one point in school and i tested higher than anyone else in the grade of 250 students.

Had like one friend my entire childhood, read 10 books a day, posted on internet forums in my teens.

Got my BA and then my Mrs degree and now a much better adjusted stay at home mother of many.

I hope my kids are above average. But not geniuses. It's not helpful in life. I have many unsuccessful brilliant relatives and being emotionally healthy is way more important.

Have you ever been evaluated for ADHD?