How did your parents treat new neighbors when you were growing up (include where)?

[Anonymous]

Charlotte, NC in a very middle class neighborhood—yes we took usually a jar of homemade jam or pickles.

[Anonymous]

jsmith123 wrote:I grew up in Southern California. We just said hi on the street, nothing more.

Me too.
SoCal.
My parents liked to gossip about everyone....all the time!

I live in an apartment home & I always introduce myself and shake hands.
I tell new neighbors if they ever have a noise or other complaint to please speak w/me directly and I will fix it.

Once I gave some new nextdoor neighbors two bottled waters & some microwave popcorn along w/an introduction.

[Anonymous]

⤴️ My kids were mortified and the new neighbors looked shocked at first.

But then they thanked me but it was still awkward at best and I haven’t done it since.

[Anonymous]

I worked for the Census recently and I was shocked to learn very few people know anything AT ALL about their immediate neighbors. Sometimes they couldn't tell me not even how many pp lived in the next door...

In my street, I got cookies when we moved in, but mostly "hi" with introductions slowly over time. But someone asked me for my e-mail and put me on the neighborhood listserve and then I was invited for GNOs, food drive for new mothers or sick people, plus 4 yearly block parties.

[Anonymous]

No going out of our way to interact. Polite warmth if they introduced themselves. Montgomery County.

[Anonymous]

I would search for registered sex offenders in my zip code to see if my new neighbors were on the list. Trust but verify.

[Anonymous]

When we moved into our NOVA neighborhood, we did a lot of front yardwork and lots and lots of neighbors cake by to introduce themselves. No baked goods or wine or anything, but with people on restricted diets and so picky nowadays you can’t just give brownies or a casserole and expect they will get eaten.

I’m not very social but do make a point to try to meet new neighbors outside. A family moved in down the street and we walked over to introduce ourselves, but it was more casual since it was more like “I’m taking a walk and just stopped to say hi.” I would never ring someone’s doorbell to introduce myself. It seems intrusive.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a small midwestern town. We had a welcome wagon in our neighborhood, I think, but what I really remember was a sweet neighbor girl who was around 13 showing up with a pan of jello when my family moved in back in 1980, when I was 6. Our families became friends. This girl babysat me a couple times. My mom would occasionally babysit the much younger brother. 5 or 6 years later my parents helped that family load up their moving truck during a snowstorm. They moved out of state, but for the next 20 years, my mom and that mom exchanged letters and Christmas cards. This is a neighborhood where if there was a death in your family that was announced in the local paper, you’d receive a flower bouquet from all the neighbors on your street. My parents still live in that house and several of their neighbors from 1980 are still around.

I lived in a townhouse in a brand new community in Silver Spring when my twins were born. We only knew a couple neighbors. A neighbor I’d never met showed up at my door with a homemade meal and introduced herself. That simple act really touched me. I made damn sure to return the favor the following year, when she had a baby.

We now live in a SFH in a very family and community oriented suburban MD neighborhood. When we moved in, the neighbor lady a few houses down showed up with a welcome kit that included some baked goods, takeout menus from all the local restaurants, and a kid cookbook, cookie cutters and oven mitts for my girls.

3-4 years ago, a new family moved in next door and one of my kids and I dropped off brownies and introduced ourselves.

When I lived in a high rise in downtown Chicago, I definitely didn’t know any of my neighbors. The “neighborly” conversations took place with the doormen.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in Arlington. I think our neighborhood was unusually close. A lot of the people moved in around the same time and stayed in those houses for decades (some are still there). Not everyone had kids, or was married, or were the same age, but we were tight. Holiday parties, weekend BBQs, cocktails on Fridays, etc. There was no formal "welcome wagon" but everyone made sure everyone else was welcome. We all had copies of each others' house keys and traded vacation pet sitting for errands and shoveled each others' sidewalks when it snowed. If someone had a family emergency, there was always a neighbor willing to drop everything and drive to the hospital, or pick up a relative from the airport, or let a teenager stay in the basement. There were a few outliers who kept to themselves and weren't very social, but they said hello and no one was rude or anything--well, one guy was/is, but I'm pretty sure there's serious mental illness involved and we always just left him alone like he wanted. I'm in my 40s and some of those people have died over the past 10-15 years. I felt like I'd lost a family member, and I guess in a way, I did.

Our current neighborhood is also in the turnover phase. We moved in right before the pandemic so it's a little different now, but everyone normally brings cookies or wine or just a note when we get new neighbors. Our old neighborhood was okay, but a lot less family friendly.

[Anonymous]

I am from the South. We didn’t get any new neighbors. I sold the house my parents owned a couple of years ago and every house on our block was still owned/occupied by the people who had lived in them since I was 3 when we moved in. I am 50.

I have owned my current house for almost 20 years and only one new neighbor. That was in 2016. Single guy. He doesn’t talk to any of us, even though my neighbors who all bought when these houses were new in the 1950s have tried to engage him over the years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Charlotte, NC in a very middle class neighborhood—yes we took usually a jar of homemade jam or pickles.

I am pp from 11:16 and also from Charlotte.

[Anonymous]

I think the vast majority of people do nothing. It's the exception to have a "welcome wagon." I generally will keep my eye out for new immediate neighbors (my lot abuts 5 different properties due to weird configuration at the end of an alley) and chat with them if I see them outside their homes, but that's about it. If it's a family with same-aged kids I might be a little more forthcoming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents grew up in NYC and I grew up on Long Island. We basically just looked at them from afar silently. There was DEFINITELY no baking of brownies or cookies, let alone any ding-donging to introduce ourselves. Eventually my mother would get gossip about the new people from another neighbor and report to us at dinner. "Marlene From Across the Street says the new neighbor, Bridgette, smokes. And her husband works in the jewelry business."

As an adult I have never ever introduced myself to new neighbors or baked them things. I have lived in my current apartment for about 8 years and don't know either of the people who live on either side of me. When I read about people baking new neighbors cookies or whatever, I always assume they are from very small towns and/or the Midwest.

I grew up in LI and not a thing. I recall I moved to DC in 2018 after living in my home in Long Island. I actually was never in a neighbors house. I also grew up on Long Island and we would go to open houses or estate sale of neighbor to see what house looked like.

My time in Manhattan we really did not talk. Not even a nod.

I would think on Long Island, you are swinger, weirdo, in a cult, trying to sell me something or looking for a favor if you came over.

I recall an Indian couple I worked with moved to Long Island and thought neighbors at first racist as no one came over when moved in. They figured out three years in not racist just not a thing.

I think it is dying. I currently don’t know my neighbors names and I live in Potomac.

It is not dying. We live in Silver Spring and know all of our neighbors. We have a block party every year and enjoy seeing everyone. When our next-door neighbor (in her 80s) had surgery, we organized a meal train to provide meals for her and her husband for a month.

Just last week I took a potted flowering plant to a neighbor a few doors away, to welcome them to the neighborhood. They have a 6 year old, and when I learned this I went back home to get a Razor scooter my kids had outgrown for him to enjoy.

I feel sorry for people who are not part of a community.

ew. some of us don't want to be part of a "community" like that. we like our privacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. BC, Canada.

Wave/say hi. Once moved in, at some point, meet/chat to introduce selves and congratulate each other/confirm that they picked a great neighbourhood. Touched on enough topics to ensure they had the same values, but that was it. I asked my Mum once if new neighbours ever freaked her out (neighbourhood was hard to get into. Not a lot of turnover). She said no- that she didn't care what new neighbours looked like- that if they moved to our neighbourhood it meant they had the same values, had good money and valued education and that was good enough for her. I find myself being the same.

As a kid, at some point I heard of 'welcome wagon' (some other kids's mum did it) and asked why she didn't join as she knew so many people/could connect others and knew everything about the community if new people wanted info/resources. She told me that she had never met someone with the organization who wasn't doing it to get dirt/spread gossip on new people. In her experience, the 'offical welcome wagon' people were judgmental or had some type of religious fervour. Not sure welcome wagon is down here?

Wow, that's a lot of talk about "values." What would you have done if your surveillance revealed that the new neighbors did not in fact share the same "values"? This is exactly why neighborhood "communities" are oversold. They can be ways to discriminate and ostracized, overtly or covertly, against people who are different.