How did your parents treat new neighbors when you were growing up (include where)?

[Anonymous]

Grew up in a Boston suburb. My mom would bake something (cookies, banana bread) and take it over.

She would also send us over to knock on the door and invite kids to play, if the new neighbors had kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents grew up in NYC and I grew up on Long Island. We basically just looked at them from afar silently. There was DEFINITELY no baking of brownies or cookies, let alone any ding-donging to introduce ourselves. Eventually my mother would get gossip about the new people from another neighbor and report to us at dinner. "Marlene From Across the Street says the new neighbor, Bridgette, smokes. And her husband works in the jewelry business."

As an adult I have never ever introduced myself to new neighbors or baked them things. I have lived in my current apartment for about 8 years and don't know either of the people who live on either side of me. When I read about people baking new neighbors cookies or whatever, I always assume they are from very small towns and/or the Midwest.

I grew up in LI and not a thing. I recall I moved to DC in 2018 after living in my home in Long Island. I actually was never in a neighbors house. I also grew up on Long Island and we would go to open houses or estate sale of neighbor to see what house looked like.

My time in Manhattan we really did not talk. Not even a nod.

I would think on Long Island, you are swinger, weirdo, in a cult, trying to sell me something or looking for a favor if you came over.

I recall an Indian couple I worked with moved to Long Island and thought neighbors at first racist as no one came over when moved in. They figured out three years in not racist just not a thing.

I think it is dying. I currently don’t know my neighbors names and I live in Potomac.

It is not dying. We live in Silver Spring and know all of our neighbors. We have a block party every year and enjoy seeing everyone. When our next-door neighbor (in her 80s) had surgery, we organized a meal train to provide meals for her and her husband for a month.

Just last week I took a potted flowering plant to a neighbor a few doors away, to welcome them to the neighborhood. They have a 6 year old, and when I learned this I went back home to get a Razor scooter my kids had outgrown for him to enjoy.

I feel sorry for people who are not part of a community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents grew up in NYC and I grew up on Long Island. We basically just looked at them from afar silently. There was DEFINITELY no baking of brownies or cookies, let alone any ding-donging to introduce ourselves. Eventually my mother would get gossip about the new people from another neighbor and report to us at dinner. "Marlene From Across the Street says the new neighbor, Bridgette, smokes. And her husband works in the jewelry business."

As an adult I have never ever introduced myself to new neighbors or baked them things. I have lived in my current apartment for about 8 years and don't know either of the people who live on either side of me. When I read about people baking new neighbors cookies or whatever, I always assume they are from very small towns and/or the Midwest.

What a horrible person.

[Anonymous]

Not quite what you asked but when we moved when I was 12, my Mom sent me next door with a pie to introduce myself to the neighbors. We became very close friends and, multiple moves in multiple states later, are still very close “like family“ friends.
(This was in Silver Spring)

[Anonymous]

This is OP of the other thread again. I think a lot of this is class-based. True middle class and below rely on their neighbors and often have a more community feel as things like swapping childcare and the like are much more common. More upper class people hire a lot of this out and often don’t get to know their neighbors much. They work a lot and paid providers do a lot of the stuff that neighbors would in lower class neighborhoods. Personally, I am much more comfortable with the middle class model. I think it makes life much more enjoyable when you are a participant in the community.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a small town in CT. My mother always bakes something for new neighbors and would cart us and my dad along time go introduce us within a week or so of someone new moving in. Of course, we never got many new neighbors. 7 I can think of in the 19 years I lived there. They’ve gotten more since as 4 long term residents have passed away. But that counts for 6 additional new neighbors in the 21 years since I’ve lived there. Tiny private road with not a lot of turnover. Oddly, two of my high school classmates purchased homes on the street within the last 5 years.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in a tony CT suburb on NYC In the 1980s. We definitely made cookies and introduced ourselves. Usually someone would step up and host a backyard party to make introductions. I live in a very1960s neighborhood of MoCo now and we’ve introduced ourselves to new neighbors and hosted small gatherings. When we moved in, people stopped by to say hi when they saw us in the yard and dropped off baby gifts (I was massively pregnant and gave birth soon after). Love my neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Nothing. BC, Canada.

Wave/say hi. Once moved in, at some point, meet/chat to introduce selves and congratulate each other/confirm that they picked a great neighbourhood. Touched on enough topics to ensure they had the same values, but that was it. I asked my Mum once if new neighbours ever freaked her out (neighbourhood was hard to get into. Not a lot of turnover). She said no- that she didn't care what new neighbours looked like- that if they moved to our neighbourhood it meant they had the same values, had good money and valued education and that was good enough for her. I find myself being the same.

As a kid, at some point I heard of 'welcome wagon' (some other kids's mum did it) and asked why she didn't join as she knew so many people/could connect others and knew everything about the community if new people wanted info/resources. She told me that she had never met someone with the organization who wasn't doing it to get dirt/spread gossip on new people. In her experience, the 'offical welcome wagon' people were judgmental or had some type of religious fervour. Not sure welcome wagon is down here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a neighborhood with many long time
Residents. Like people lived there, raised their kids and then died there. My parents never would have baked anything for anyone. My mom was raised lower middle class and she never learned to do this. Thankfully, my dad was higher class and made sure we went to college where I belatedly learned about social etiquette.

Please, share with the group. What class did you take IN COLLEGE where they taught you social etiquette? Must be a college in the deep South, huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the OP from the other post asking what to do. I am from the Midwest. I know most everyone in our neighborhood. When covid hit, I went over to the houses that have really old people and told them to call me if they want me to grocery shop for them. I have stayed with the neighbor kids when the parents have had emergencies. I buy baby gifts for new babies in the neighborhood. I don’t know. Maybe my neighbors think I am weird, but this is how I grew up.

I'm the OP of this thread. I don't think it's weird at all - it's sweet and just ... foreign to me. In 20 years of living OUT of NY, exactly ONE person has ever said "Oh, you live there? I live here - I just moved in. Hi, I'm Rochelle." And I had to say hi, introduce myself and shake hands. My DD was looking at me like "What the F*** just happened?!" because she'd never seen it before. I don't think it's a class issue.

After I'd moved out of my parents home, I went back to visit one time, in my mid 20's. My mother mentioned the old next door neighbors had moved out and new people had moved in and they had two young elementary school daughters. REALLY?! I ran up to my childhood bedroom, grabbed my sticker collection shoebox from the '80s, grabbed my old stationery that I'd outgrown, and ran back downstairs. I told my mother I was going next door. She tried to tell me I couldn't, forgetting I was now an adult. I went, rang the bell, said "Hi, I'm Lauren, my parents live next door. My mom said you have two little girls - I thought they might like some stickers and stationery." The mom was so appreciative and I felt so good about it. When I went back home (after like, 3 minutes of being gone) my mother was really angry at me and thought I was ridiculous. What, like I was going to sell my Strawberry Shortcake stickers? Like I was telling this new neighbor all our family secrets? No. I was raised by parents who were introverted, and paranoid in my mother's case. I was pushing to not be that way.

[Anonymous]

I grew in St. Louis (North County). Our neighborhood was very cliquey and insular. When new people moved in, we would bring them wine and cookies (from an Italian bakery). If they went to our church, it was a big deal. Usually the person was related to someone we new (Irish Catholics). I moved to the father out suburbs as a teen. When my parents moved into new construction, everyone brought us food: casseroles, cakes, cookies. We were good friends with the neighbors next door and I'd go to their house frequently because their daughters were our age. But we wouldn't go in people's homes. My mom had drama with two of our neighbors. Most of the kids played outside in a cul da sac. My neighbors would shovel our snow for all the other neighbors (driveway and walkway) or blow and bag our leaves. My parents would bring them some booze. I live in DC now. When my neighbors move in, I bring them a plant, wine and some cookies from a neighborhood bakery. When we moved in all of our neighbors gave us welcome gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grew up in a Boston suburb. My mom would bake something (cookies, banana bread) and take it over.

She would also send us over to knock on the door and invite kids to play, if the new neighbors had kids.

Same. Fairfax. I always go to new neighbors on my street with a bottle of wine or something. When we moved in at least ten neighbors rang our bell and we were inundated with baked goods. I live on a great street in Arlington and that’s what we do b

[Anonymous]

I grew up in Pasadena, CA. As far as I can remember, we only had two families move into our cul-de-sac after we moved there. In both cases, we all walked over to the house to introduce ourselves. My parents brought a bottle of wine and we brought brownies. We had a friendly neighborhood, but, even so, when my mom died 10 years ago, we were surprised by how many former neighbors came to her memorial service and wrote notes of condolence. Their kindness meant a lot to us.

We've lived in Chevy Chase (MD) for over 20 yeras and have always introduced ourselves to new neighbors. Usually I take a bottle of wine or a small houseplant as a gift, and brownies if they have kids. That's partly because I'm friendly, but also because I think my mom would want me to do that. And, BTW, one of the families we welcomed when I was growing up had moved from Paris. They later got me a great summer au pair gig after my first year of college. Ooh-la-la!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a neighborhood with many long time
Residents. Like people lived there, raised their kids and then died there. My parents never would have baked anything for anyone. My mom was raised lower middle class and she never learned to do this. Thankfully, my dad was higher class and made sure we went to college where I belatedly learned about social etiquette.

Please, share with the group. What class did you take IN COLLEGE where they taught you social etiquette? Must be a college in the deep South, huh?

???

[Anonymous]

Virginia. My mom baked something and would take it over and welcome them to the neighborhood.

Definitely not like the cold non-welcome we received here.