Why do kids who can afford to go away for college stay close to home and even room with their high

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are so many college opportunities near DC. Just within the metro area we have some of the best schools in the country (JHU, Georgetown), a top ranked public (UMD), and some great LAC options. If you open it up to three hours away which is a pretty normal distance from home for most kids in the rest of the country (even ones going to their state school), you have hundreds of options including two ivies. We happen to live in the heart of higher education. I think a lot of kids find schools they love nearby without even considering location.

What are the great LAC options? My DS would like to be nearby but there don’t seem to be any small liberal arts colleges and that is what he wants.

[Anonymous]

We toured a local university because a college counselor who spoke at school suggested doing that first to get an idea of what goes on with a tour. Boy, do they push the excitement of being able to live in the "capital of the free world". Many out of city or out of state universities really push the excitement of getting a DC internship too.

It was kind of like that home-town feeling of seeing a movie where they scan over the Iwo Jima memorial onto the Lincoln and down the Mall over the Washington Monument.

I had to leave my home town to get a big job in the capital city - my kid lives here already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are so many college opportunities near DC. Just within the metro area we have some of the best schools in the country (JHU, Georgetown), a top ranked public (UMD), and some great LAC options. If you open it up to three hours away which is a pretty normal distance from home for most kids in the rest of the country (even ones going to their state school), you have hundreds of options including two ivies. We happen to live in the heart of higher education. I think a lot of kids find schools they love nearby without even considering location.

What are the great LAC options? My DS would like to be nearby but there don’t seem to be any small liberal arts colleges and that is what he wants.

Within a few hours Swarthmore, Haverford and then down several notches there’s Goucher, McDaniel, Roanoke

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS went to Mason and lived on campus because he wanted a campus experience but has a chronic disease that is sometimes difficult to control. We had hoped he would be able to go further afield for college, but his senior year was rough, healthwise, and when it was time to make the decision that April, we all agreed that having him close to home and his medical team would be best.

This was a hard decision -- not because there is anything wrong with Mason but because it was really disappointing to DS that his condition had to dictate something so big in his life. I think before this he held onto some hope that somehow his condition would just go away and his life could go back to "normal." It was when he really faced the fact that his entire life would be affected by his condition. And of course watching him come to grips with this truth was heartbreaking for DH and me.

Because this was a painful experience for our family, it's not something we talked about much. I'm sure there are people we know who think it is crazy that DS lived at Mason, when he could easily have lived at home for much less money; or who were shocked that a good student like DS did not end up at a higher ranked school.

You don't know why people make the decisions that they do, but when you aren't privy to the details it's nice to extend the benefit of the doubt and assume there's a good reason.

New poster. This, above, times a thousand. I was coming here to respond, as this PP does, that there can be myriad reasons for families to make choices that aren't the ones OP would make. None of us can know all the details that go into these life decisions.

PP's child has medical reasons to be closer to home but also deserves to experience living away from home. It's awful that people they know have the gall to speculate about "why a good student didn't end up at a higher ranked school." In our world, DC's best friend has anxiety and some other diagnosed issues that make it better for all involved that she go to school close to home, so she can come home easily any time she needs to but also gets the needed experience of starting to live away from her family.

So, OP, please realize that you just can't know what student or their families are dealing with when they make choices, and it is unfair to make any assumptions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people are happy with who they are and where they're at. [b]That's the goal. You weren't OP so it was good for you to go away and explore.

I know a family who has a son at Georgetown who was living on campus (until the spring obviously). The mom even works in Georgetown, although not at the University. She never saw her son, even in happenstance, except one or two times in over 3 years. It is possible to live nearby and have it seem like a totally different world.

Whatever works!

Being limited to a 2 hour radius does not mean someone is “unhappy with who they are.”

Nor does wanting to see other parts of the U.S. or world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DS went to Mason and lived on campus because he wanted a campus experience but has a chronic disease that is sometimes difficult to control. We had hoped he would be able to go further afield for college, but his senior year was rough, healthwise, and when it was time to make the decision that April, we all agreed that having him close to home and his medical team would be best.

This was a hard decision -- not because there is anything wrong with Mason but because it was really disappointing to DS that his condition had to dictate something so big in his life. I think before this he held onto some hope that somehow his condition would just go away and his life could go back to "normal." It was when he really faced the fact that his entire life would be affected by his condition. And of course watching him come to grips with this truth was heartbreaking for DH and me.

Because this was a painful experience for our family, it's not something we talked about much. I'm sure there are people we know who think it is crazy that DS lived at Mason, when he could easily have lived at home for much less money; or who were shocked that a good student like DS did not end up at a higher ranked school.

You don't know why people make the decisions that they do, but when you aren't privy to the details it's nice to extend the benefit of the doubt and assume there's a good reason.

New poster. This, above, times a thousand. I was coming here to respond, as this PP does, that there can be myriad reasons for families to make choices that aren't the ones OP would make. None of us can know all the details that go into these life decisions.

PP's child has medical reasons to be closer to home but also deserves to experience living away from home. It's awful that people they know have the gall to speculate about "why a good student didn't end up at a higher ranked school." In our world, DC's best friend has anxiety and some other diagnosed issues that make it better for all involved that she go to school close to home, so she can come home easily any time she needs to but also gets the needed experience of starting to live away from her family.

So, OP, please realize that you just can't know what student or their families are dealing with when they make choices, and it is unfair to make any assumptions.

+1

When someone doesn’t get out much, it often signifies extreme anxiety, IME.

[Anonymous]

Do people over 30 really get concerned about what 18 year olds do?

You're not covering their bills, don't worry about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because the DC area is not an impoverished backwater that kids need to escape from. If a nearby school is a good fit, they don’t need to fly far away in order to get a great education. Maybe if you live in small town USA you choose a local school in order to save money, but in big metropolitan areas that’s not the only reason to choose a local school.

You lost me, assuming that other places are “to get away from”. Many are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do people over 30 really get concerned about what 18 year olds do?

You're not covering their bills, don't worry about it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because the DC area is not an impoverished backwater that kids need to escape from. If a nearby school is a good fit, they don’t need to fly far away in order to get a great education. Maybe if you live in small town USA you choose a local school in order to save money, but in big metropolitan areas that’s not the only reason to choose a local school.

You lost me, assuming that other places are “to get away from”. Many are not.

New PP but no, I agree with the bolded statement above. It makes a lot of sense. If you're getting up at 4am to milk cows and muck out the stables and your entire summer is spent on a farm, you might, if you're intellectually curious, wish to escape that.

[Anonymous]

At 18, mine really wanted her own new experience. Got into a top DC college and chose to go to another top school a plane ride away. I wish she had stayed closer because she stayed after graduation and we have not been able to visit because of the pandemic. If I had it to do over, I would have pushed harder for her to stay local.

[Anonymous]

Not everyone has the same preferences or tells you their personal stories.

Some kids have no money, family responsibilities, anxiety.... or they like their life as it is.

[Anonymous]

OP, I went a thousand miles from home because my parents were having an awful divorce. You would think I made a superior choice.

A year later, I’d transferred back to a school 20 miles from my front door because it was a better fit (and just as elite)

Was I a failure?

[Anonymous]

Most people are provincial and kids want to have a few people they already know at college (or a lot of people if in state Tailgate State).

Most people don't apply let alone go to colleges sight unseen. Most kids just apply to colleges they're familiar with and have visited at least a few times.

Older siblings, cousins and/or high school friends attending colleges <200 miles gives you a chance to visit a few times during high school.

I really admire kids who have the stones to go 500+ miles from home from college. I did not have the confidence to do that! Our oldest daughters did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I went a thousand miles from home because my parents were having an awful divorce. You would think I made a superior choice.

A year later, I’d transferred back to a school 20 miles from my front door because it was a better fit (and just as elite)

Was I a failure?

Sounds like you struggled to make friends or meet a boy, so you transferred to where your high school friends were. Such transfers happen a lot, especially if parents stress about $.