What to do with a kid who is good at a number of sports & school only allows kid 1 sport per season

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's the most ridiculous social change in our society today ... the idea of 8, 9 and 10 year-olds committing to one sport year round at such a tender and naive age. Young children should play a wide variety of sports at a young developmental age when they can optimize overall maturation and coordination--upper and lower body--hand eye. Specialization should be reserved for later, on a solid, deep and broad athletic foundation, in the adolescent years when interests and skill set tend to become more focused. Akin to reading, writing and arithematic before year round sociology and psychology.

One really fun advantages of private school in my days was playing three different sports during each term at the varsity level and continuing this at a little three college in 2 of them. I opted for medical school instead of a low paying stint in professional soccer.

My sense is that students today miss out on athletic variety because of lack of access or entry to new sports because of coaching requirements. I also see many kids that have committed to one sport since they were in diapers who suffer waxing and waning burnout for years. I found that the freedom to play a variety of sports minimized the syndrome of ennui and burnout and provided a beneficial cross training effect.

The OPs child is in 7th grade so that's c. 13.

[Anonymous]

I completely agree with 22:13. Our DC is in 9th grade and still manages to play field hockey and crew this year in school (soccer and basketball in previous years). She also plays an instrument. Is she good enough to be recruited for college? No. Has she met lots of people, had lots of fun, and thoroughly enjoyed her elementary and middle school experiences? Yes. Isn't that much more important than getting into XYZ university?

[Anonymous]

Sorry, I meant I agree with 22:30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Oh please. I am not the PP, but really you didn't realize that a travel team needs to be a top priority? In our experience the coaches have been extremely clear about that. Obviously school is first, but among extra curriculars the travel team has to come first.

OP's question is about doing several travel teams. So what's your advice to her, then, when these "top priorities" confict?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
We need you and your league to tell us your schedules in advance, so we can make informed decisions beforehand, and save everybody the stress. By the time most families realize they need to reduce sports, it's already too late and you're in the middle of a season.

Is there any way that schedules could be posted before you need to sign up? Some travel leagues select the kids in June. Then parents could avoid the conflicts, which are inevitable and put families in very difficult positions. Lecturing the parents isn't the answer. Instead, this ridiculous system, where kids have to specialize because sports are year-round and the teams are selected in June, needs to be changed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Oh please. I am not the PP, but really you didn't realize that a travel team needs to be a top priority? In our experience the coaches have been extremely clear about that. Obviously school is first, but among extra curriculars the travel team has to come first.

OP's question is about doing several travel teams. So what's your advice to her, then, when these "top priorities" confict?

I think the child/family has two choices. Either you play one sport at the travel level, and put it as the first priority in the case of head-to-head conflicts, or you level up front with both coaches and let them decide whether their capped roster can accomodate a kid who will likely miss a fair number of games.

[Anonymous]

8:30 My son (eighth grade) plays travel soccer and plays on his school soccer, basketball and track teams. However he could not do club soccer and select basketball, too many conflicts. I think the point was that it's hard -- not impossible, but darn hard -- by middle school to play two outside select sports well.

Kids who specialize early in one sport manage to get variety, too. There's a bit of myth that that's not happening. I see it all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:8:30 My son (eighth grade) plays travel soccer and plays on his school soccer, basketball and track teams. However he could not do club soccer and select basketball, too many conflicts. I think the point was that it's hard -- not impossible, but darn hard -- by middle school to play two outside select sports well.

Kids who specialize early in one sport manage to get variety, too. There's a bit of myth that that's not happening. I see it all the time.

Agree. It is usually pretty easy to balance school teams with a travel team, esp. in middle school, because the school team practices/games are after school whereas our soccer practices are at 6 and games on weekends. High school is a little more challenging although plenty of kids continue travel sports and HS teams. The issue is whether there is enough time for homework. My HS child has 4+ hours/night so it's too difficult to add serious outside commitments in addition to the HS teams.

[Anonymous]

Also I think it also depends on the sport. At the select level and above soccer is basically year round and you can't really opt out of winter leagues, or not play in the spring season, etc. Some of the other sports don't seem to be quite as year round and don't play the sport in two seasons like soccer (although I think travel baseball is fall and spring).

[Anonymous]

The whole soccer scene is loony, unless your kid is athletic scholarship material. There was a study, quoted in the book Soccerhead, about how parents would be better off saving the money they spend on coaches, trainers, tournaments in distant towns, and just ploughing the same dough into their kids' college funds. This is because the odds of getting an athletic scholarship, especially a substantial scholarship, for soccer are really, really small.

That being the case, why the heck are we requiring kids to focus almost exclusively on soccer? We did the travel scene for a few years. Both kids were starters, but not spectacular. Both realized, after a few years, that they faced a choice between dropping soccer (and soccer friends, which isn't minimal) and potentially doing a whole array of other things like music, other sports, school plays, et cetera. It's too bad that kids have to make this choice of soccer versus everything else.

Plus it probably makes worse athletes in the end. The NYTimes a few years ago had a magazine article with various sports experts talking about how doing a variety of sports that involve different skills, like jumping in basketball, actually transates into better performance in every sport.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Oh please. I am not the PP, but really you didn't realize that a travel team needs to be a top priority? In our experience the coaches have been extremely clear about that. Obviously school is first, but among extra curriculars the travel team has to come first.

No, high school sports teams certainly don't see themselves as being second banana. Nor do theater or other groups. They all see themselves as having first claim on a kid's time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Oh please. I am not the PP, but really you didn't realize that a travel team needs to be a top priority? In our experience the coaches have been extremely clear about that. Obviously school is first, but among extra curriculars the travel team has to come first.

No, high school sports teams certainly don't see themselves as being second banana. Nor do theater or other groups. They all see themselves as having first claim on a kid's time.

I didn't get the sense that the poster dealing with this was talking about a high school kid since they had just discovered the issue of conflicts with travel teams. Most kids don't start travel teams in high school, although some may.

[Anonymous]

There is still an issue with juggling obligations. Middle schools have sports teams, although they are probably more flexible than my kid's high school soccer team.

[Anonymous]

15:19 That's if your goal is a soccer scholarship. That's very ROI-minded. Mine, and my child's, is not. He simply loves the game and wants to play as long as he can. That said, soccer can be a hook at D-2 and D-3 schools. But that is not our objective and we did not know that going in at age 9. Soccer, besides fulfillment, gives my son structure, discipline, a community of friends outside of school and amazing cultural experiences because his two coaches have been foreign. Also when he travels internationally on vacation, he's had bonding experiences playing or watching soccer in Europe and Latin America. Finally, every player on his travel team plays another sport at school and other travel players we know do, too. Many take music lessons as well. (Not my son, alas.) I wish people would stop perpetuating these myths!

[Anonymous]

Actually the least flexible time might be be middle school. It hinges on practice time during the week. Older teams often sit out the fall so players can play on school varsity teams. Though not sure if that happens before U-17.