New York Times writing about parenting, please stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh OP. I haven’t read it yet, but my idea of bad parenting is taking a newborn home to a house where you put them alone in their own room 30 feet from their mother and you listen to them through an electronic device. Families that live in more intimate spaces have more intimacy, generally speaking. Look at the bond that siblings have when they share a room. I just separated my kids and I’m worried about it.

+100. The idea that you let a kid under 1 "cry it out" in a separate room is insanity to me. However, I'm not going to judge because I know that every family is different.

Could you judge just a wee bit less? What would you do if your spouse snored horribly and you had a newborn? Would you force the spouse to sleep on the couch when he works 60-70 hours per week on his feet? Or would you move the baby into a separate room so the baby AND your spouse could get some sleep? Perhaps you are the noisy sleeper keeping baby up. Baby would need to sleep elsewhere and you would need a monitor. As far as siblings that share a room have a strong bond isn't always true. I couldn't imagine forcing my two boys, who constantly argue over the littlest things to share a room unless I we really needed to.

[Anonymous]

Lol! I read that article aloud to my husband! 5 people in 550 square feet! 😱 I mean, good for them, they’ve made it work and the location is amazing, but, I could never.....I prize being alone for portions of my day...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Children stacked like inmates in their own house, everyone working too many hours for too little, toddlers in daycare so many hours of the week their parents barely know them - putting the mirror up to NY Parents and the reflection isn't good.

I can't shake the feeling that these parents are just doing something fundamentally wrong. Three kids in a one-bedroom? I mean, I get that they are doing the best they can with what they've got, but it just screams "bad judgement" to me! A well-educated, older couple, sleeping on a pull-out in their own living room is a pretty strong indication that you've made some bad choices along the way. And yes, of course, NY has its own set of rules and "normals" but I walked away from this article feeling a distinct sense of pity for these people, and yes, especially the kids.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/22/realestate/fitting-a-family-of-five-into-a-one-bedroom-in-brooklyn.html

I get that its a slow news cycle, but seriously, do we have to write long-form articles commemorating the time a man actually took care of his kid? Does it really take a pandemic for parents to notice and connect with their children?
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/19/parenting/childcare-family-relationships-coronavirus.html?action=click&algo=als_engaged2_desk_filter&block=editors_picks_recirc&fellback=false&imp_id=382670784&impression_id=341059846&index=0&pgtype=Article®ion=footer

You do realize much of the world lives in very cramped conditions, don’t you? Even well-educated and well-paid professionals. My family growing up consisted of 8 people in a 1000-sq ft apartment and we were considered very lucky because we had 2 bathrooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You haven't made any bad choices along the way, OP? Your life must have been boring as hell.

They aren't making any bad choices. They choose to live differently than you but it's not bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That's nuts to me, but to each their own. That's WAAAAAYYYY too little space for me, though being so near the park is super. What would be really cool is if they are able to rent a second 1-bedroom apartment in the same building, and use one apartment for sleeping quarters and the other apartment for daytime living. That would be great!!

That's stupid.

Seriously. "What would be really cool is if they just managed to be insanely rich!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They only thing that was strange/offputting about the article to me was that two employed adults paying less than $2000/m in rent had their two children sharing the school provided device for online learning. Was there a reason they couldn't spend $300 on a chromebook? Was that not allowed by the school? Makes no sense.

I thought about that and figured that they probably couldn't get out to a store to buy something because they were all closed
and things like Amazon deliveries were super delayed. I know other people of relative means who had similar problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They only thing that was strange/offputting about the article to me was that two employed adults paying less than $2000/m in rent had their two children sharing the school provided device for online learning. Was there a reason they couldn't spend $300 on a chromebook? Was that not allowed by the school? Makes no sense.

I thought about that and figured that they probably couldn't get out to a store to buy something because they were all closed
and things like Amazon deliveries were super delayed. I know other people of relative means who had similar problems.

That does make sense.

[Anonymous]

How do the adults have relations?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They only thing that was strange/offputting about the article to me was that two employed adults paying less than $2000/m in rent had their two children sharing the school provided device for online learning. Was there a reason they couldn't spend $300 on a chromebook? Was that not allowed by the school? Makes no sense.

I thought about that and figured that they probably couldn't get out to a store to buy something because they were all closed
and things like Amazon deliveries were super delayed. I know other people of relative means who had similar problems.

That does make sense.

Also, nobody knew how long the shutdown would last. Spending $300 for a laptop you would only need for a couple weeks doesn't make sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They only thing that was strange/offputting about the article to me was that two employed adults paying less than $2000/m in rent had their two children sharing the school provided device for online learning. Was there a reason they couldn't spend $300 on a chromebook? Was that not allowed by the school? Makes no sense.

I thought about that and figured that they probably couldn't get out to a store to buy something because they were all closed
and things like Amazon deliveries were super delayed. I know other people of relative means who had similar problems.

There's basically a massive shortage right now of ipads and chromebooks approved for distance learning. It isn't just the stores, it's the Chinese supply chain. The linked article explains that NYC (where these people are) recently purchased over 300,000 new devices for students but there have been massive supply problems. Same things with other big districts, like Boston. My guess is the kids will get another school provided chromebook but they're waiting for it.

https://blogs.edweek.org/edweek/DigitalEducation/2020/04/device_blog_placeholder_copy.html

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Children stacked like inmates in their own house, everyone working too many hours for too little, toddlers in daycare so many hours of the week their parents barely know them - putting the mirror up to NY Parents and the reflection isn't good.

I can't shake the feeling that these parents are just doing something fundamentally wrong. Three kids in a one-bedroom? I mean, I get that they are doing the best they can with what they've got, but it just screams "bad judgement" to me! A well-educated, older couple, sleeping on a pull-out in their own living room is a pretty strong indication that you've made some bad choices along the way. And yes, of course, NY has its own set of rules and "normals" but I walked away from this article feeling a distinct sense of pity for these people, and yes, especially the kids.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/22/realestate/fitting-a-family-of-five-into-a-one-bedroom-in-brooklyn.html

I get that its a slow news cycle, but seriously, do we have to write long-form articles commemorating the time a man actually took care of his kid? Does it really take a pandemic for parents to notice and connect with their children?
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/06/19/parenting/childcare-family-relationships-coronavirus.html?action=click&algo=als_engaged2_desk_filter&block=editors_picks_recirc&fellback=false&imp_id=382670784&impression_id=341059846&index=0&pgtype=Article®ion=footer

My sisters and I shared a bedroom -- all three of us! Loved it, and missed those times. You are disconnected with the rest of the world.

[Anonymous]

Not every kid needs their own room and not every teen 16+ needs their own car.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you really only want to read articles about people who live exactly as you do? Wouldn't that be incredibly boring?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do the adults have relations?

Quietly.

[Anonymous]

Hasn't yet been noted, but they are choosing to live in one of the most expensive neighborhoods in Brooklyn, maybe one of the most expensive in all NYC. He's a professor at CUNY in Queens, which means (1) he doesn't make a ton; and (2) they would have a very easy commute if they moved to Queens. But she's a "sustainable fashion writer" and their kids have hipster names and a 3-legged cat named Wonder, so of course they want to live in Park Slope.

That's their choice of course, but no one here should think it's any less pretentious than a family who chooses to live in a small old bungalow in Upper NW while looking down at similar families in Potomac or McLean as bourgeois suburban sell-outs.

Final point, I have a sibling who made a similar choice and they've been incredibly happy with it. They left for a few years to move to the suburbs and came right back, at a pretty big financial cost. The only problem was that everything they loved about Brooklyn became a lot less wonderful during the pandemic. Being outside was a little scary given the infection rates, and apparently there were a lot more mentally-ill homeless wandering the streets. The protests were actually a huge boost for them - I think it was a reminder of why they love the city. Bottom line: to each their own.