Looking back: was there someone else you should have married

[Anonymous]

I noticed only women replied interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I noticed only women replied interesting.

Try again.

[Anonymous]

Myself.

[Anonymous]

Looking back definitely not. Now I think I would be better suited to someone else. But I’d say many people would think that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For never ending BJs, yes. For a spouse, no.

I was waiting for another man to reply.

My wife is a great mom and partner but a dud in bed. A couple of my ex girlfriends were much better matches sexually but then again my wife and I had a great sex life for years until the kids came and it never came back. Talking to my close friends, this seems typical that married sex slows to a trickle, so I assume it would have been the same with ex girlfriends too

[Anonymous]

Yes... My first true love. Still think about her.

[Anonymous]

Man here - No, what I was looking for in my early 20’s was different than in my late 20’s when my brain took over from my penis. In my early 20’s it was all about looks, fun and sex. In my late 20’s while those things were still important others things became very important such as intelligence, warmth, real compatibility, independence plus others. I’ve been married 27 years and I made a fabulous choice with a real benefit that she is still really into sex when many other women 50+ seem to have little interest. I do think about a couple of my earlier GF’s who were sexual rabbits but who knows if they are today.

[Anonymous]

Well, I met him after I was already married, so it's more of a looking forward thing.

[Anonymous]

Yes. He reached out to me to hang out a couple months before I got married, I didn't go after a big fight with me then-fiance who threatened to call off the wedding. 10 years and a divorce later, I truly believe that if I had gone, I'd be living a different life. I'm happy with my life, and have a good friendship with my ex who I shouldn't have married for many reasons, but I do wonder what would've happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For never ending BJs, yes. For a spouse, no.

I was waiting for another man to reply.

My wife is a great mom and partner but a dud in bed. A couple of my ex girlfriends were much better matches sexually but then again my wife and I had a great sex life for years until the kids came and it never came back. Talking to my close friends, this seems typical that married sex slows to a trickle, so I assume it would have been the same with ex girlfriends too

My wife is amazing in bed the never ending BJ comment was a referring to an ex that would literally give them 24/7. Zero conversation. Every date, on the way to restaurant, and as soon as we were back in car. She never watched more than two minutes of a tv show or movie.

[Anonymous]

There are a few guys from my mid-20s that I wonder about, but I never really got to know them enough to get an idea of whether they would have been a good possibility. Part of that is because I was an immature/awkward dater back then (my parents discouraged dating in H.S. and college) and did not have the same self-esteem as I do now.

Thinking about the guys I had relationships with, including my ex-DH, I can't say that any of them would be a great match for me. I certainly had great hope for a number of those relationships (obviously, my marriage!). Some had commitment/attachment issues, some just didn't have similar enough values and goals, and a few had other issues going on (alcohol/mental health) or weren't honest or weren't interested enough in me.

I'm in my mid-40s and in some ways I wonder why it has been this hard. I'm not ultra-picky, or bitchy, or difficult, or crazy. I'm okay with guys who are short or bald or have a belly. But finding someone who has some shared interests, a reasonable amount of shared values, and who is high functioning has been pretty elusive.