Women on Bumble who match and then don’t initiate the convo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never just say hi. And I don’t respond to people who just say hi to me online. Who would want to be in a relationship or even just friends with someone in need of your attention with such little effort? Ignore that lazy ass.

Um, on Bumble, YOU are the moron initating the conversation with "hi" - not the man

DP, but I am not sure why you think sending "hi" would be limited to the first initiation?

PP starts with something more detailed, man responds "hi," she moves on. ???

No the opposite. Have you people ever been on Bumble? The woman initiates contact, she may say "hi" as sort of a placeholder so the connection doesn't expire, the man will then say "hi" back and introduce himself and say whatever else and THAT'S IT - END. Nothing further.

I’m the quoted innermost poster (I wish there is a better reference index)
It doesn’t matter who opens with a hi, man or woman, in any app, ignore them. Placeholder is a lame excuse.

On bumble, I usually ask a question from the mans bio, never only say hi. How many more seconds to type a question instead of hi? Its just laziness, not gender issue.

[Anonymous]

OP, it happens to all of us! I am a woman and was on Bumble but gave up because I wasn't happy with the quality of men (sorry, not meant personally)
Maybe since it's free and the whole expiration thing doesn't work with modern busy lifes?

[Anonymous]

Accidentally swiped right. Or I am not physically attracted to them.

[Anonymous]

OP, I posted here a few weeks ago with the exact same question from the female side, so it goes both ways. Someone’s advice was just not to take online “dating” so seriously, it’s a numbers game at the end of the day. I think that is just the best way to look at it, try to relax. For me, I decided to wait until the pandemic is over and try to meet people IRL and deleted my profile. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Are you crazy OP? Women have an ENDLESS # of choices with online dating. Get your butt away from a screen and join an activity that has more women than men.

[Anonymous]

Guys who complain about women who match but don't write are just whiny and entitled. Sometimes I (female) swipe right and then when we match decide we're not a good fit after all. It's worked the other way too where guys I match with clearly have changed their mind about me before I write (for example by unmatching as soon as we match).

Bottom line is, we're all allowed to change our minds at any time. I mean, I could write to you just to be polite, but if I've already decided we're not good for each other, is that what you really want? It really is nothing personal.

I prefer Bumble to OKCupid, because, on OKCupid when either party can write first after matching, no one does (in my experience). I'm now dating someone amazing I met on Bumble, but it took dealing with lots of dead-end conversations and flaky behavior from other men before I got there. It was worth it, but I also needed occasional breaks from the site when it occasionally got demoralizing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guys who complain about women who match but don't write are just whiny and entitled. Sometimes I (female) swipe right and then when we match decide we're not a good fit after all. It's worked the other way too where guys I match with clearly have changed their mind about me before I write (for example by unmatching as soon as we match).

Bottom line is, we're all allowed to change our minds at any time. I mean, I could write to you just to be polite, but if I've already decided we're not good for each other, is that what you really want? It really is nothing personal.

I prefer Bumble to OKCupid, because, on OKCupid when either party can write first after matching, no one does (in my experience). I'm now dating someone amazing I met on Bumble, but it took dealing with lots of dead-end conversations and flaky behavior from other men before I got there. It was worth it, but I also needed occasional breaks from the site when it occasionally got demoralizing.

Nope. I don’t feel entitled to talk to you. (You sounds pretty horrible btw.) I am just trying to understand the rationale for swiping and not talking when women never had to swipe in the first place. If you didn’t think we were a good match *before we even talked* then why did you swipe right in the first place?

It makes a lot more sense either to swipe left and never talk, or talk and then decide, based on that, that it’s a poor fit.

[Anonymous]

When I'm swiping, I don't look at profiles that closely because I don't have time to look at every single one. Just the pic and the text underneath (which is more than most guys, who go solely off of the picture)

If we match, I look more closely and decide whether or not to initiate a conversation. Often, I don't, usually because we don't really have much in common or they don't have much in their profile ("Just ask me anything!" is an instant dealbreaker).

Also, matches expire after 24 hours, and I can't always check it every day.

[Anonymous]

Ya'll are taking on line dating way too seriously. You should be on 2-3 sites if you decide to on line date. Men should understand that women get many, many hits with on line dating. As a woman I found I was spending 20 hours a week responding to men.

Men, If the man did not ask me out within several texts I dropped the thread. Understand I have other men in the pipeline and I'm already spending about 20 hours a week responding to men. I'm not going to do the man's job of asking the woman out.

Men and women both need to have a tough skin when on line dating. Generally I avoided meetups with anyone who had not been divorced (with signed paperwork) for over a year. Those people are just too needy and desperate.

[Anonymous]

I'm the 10:49 poster, a woman.

Men really need to be on their game with on line dating.

Women get many many many texts/hits from men depending on the dating site.

I am an average looking woman and not a hot babe but it was a lot to manage all of the matches/texts/hits that I got from men on numerous websites.

Ya'll should not be so emotionally invested in communicating with a stranger. Until you actually have a face to face meeting you should have zero emotional investment in the process.

I can't tell you how many men and women I know who have "virtual" relationships with those they meet on line and when they finally meet the person is a dud.

You really need to treat the on line dating process very casually.