Women on Bumble who match and then don’t initiate the convo

[Anonymous]

It's all kinds of reasons.

She has other priorities. She is inundated with messages from other guys. She got busy. She liked you enough to swipe but not much more. Most likely it has little to do with you.

You're taking it very personally.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she picked up on some weird vibe from you and knows from experience to just ignore.

[Anonymous]

I work in marketing, and online dating has a lot of parallels to marketing (since it's all just human behavior).

Swiping right is very low-cost for someone. It's sort of like seeing an ad on tv - you'll participate because it requires very little investment on your end. So just like people will watch a ton of tv commercials, people will also swipe right a ton.

Conversation requires more effort, so now they are going to be pickier about where they invest their time. That's sort of like going looking up a product after seeing an ad for it. You're not going to look up every product you see, just the ones you are the most interested in, right? Likewise, people will only chat with those they are most interested in because there's only so much time and effort available.

And so it goes....a long conversation is more investment, a date even more so, and a relationship requires so much investment that very few people will buy in.

And that's all good. You want somebody who is into *you*, so it's gonna take some time to find the right one. Try not to take it personally, it's not a reflection on how good/bad you are.

If you want to improve your odds, work on your profile. Once, for a marketing class, we had to write online dating profiles then test them to see how well they worked. It's all just selling.

[Anonymous]

The reason why initiating conversation is a second step is because Bumble is set up to give women that option. Otherwise, if you matched, you could start the conversation. It's set up instead to give multiple points of decision making.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s happening there? Why did you match with me if you didn’t want to talk?

She is probably dating someone else now.

Yeah but why did she swipe right on me then?

Understand she has other men in the timeline/dating cycle. She swipes right on you. Some guy she knows in real life asks her out an hour later. She does not
initiate contact with you.

Or another scenario. She swipes right on you. An hour later she links up with ex boyfriend. (This happens a lot.)

Sign up for a dating website where the man can make the contact. Generally you want to be on about 3 dating websites at a time. It is a numbers game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The reason why initiating conversation is a second step is because Bumble is set up to give women that option. Otherwise, if you matched, you could start the conversation. It's set up instead to give multiple points of decision making.

Bro, get on some other dating websites where the man can make contact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason why initiating conversation is a second step is because Bumble is set up to give women that option. Otherwise, if you matched, you could start the conversation. It's set up instead to give multiple points of decision making.

Bro, get on some other dating websites where the man can make contact.

Sure! Nobody is being tied down and forced to use Bumble. If you don't want a site set up that way, then don't use a plan set up that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's all kinds of reasons.

She has other priorities. She is inundated with messages from other guys. She got busy. She liked you enough to swipe but not much more. Most likely it has little to do with you.

You're taking it very personally.

Nah, I just don’t understand it, and necessarily can only see it from my perspective. I’ve had plenty of matches expire without her initiating, and since I don’t know them yet it means nothing to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason why initiating conversation is a second step is because Bumble is set up to give women that option. Otherwise, if you matched, you could start the conversation. It's set up instead to give multiple points of decision making.

Bro, get on some other dating websites where the man can make contact.

Yeah I’m on those, too. I’m inclined to pull the plug on Bumble. Had the most success on Hinge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason why initiating conversation is a second step is because Bumble is set up to give women that option. Otherwise, if you matched, you could start the conversation. It's set up instead to give multiple points of decision making.

Bro, get on some other dating websites where the man can make contact.

Yeah I’m on those, too. I’m inclined to pull the plug on Bumble. Had the most success on Hinge.

Hinge is my favorite. You get fewer matches, but because people have to initiate a conversation, you get people who are actually interested in you.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like Hinge is the answer for both OP and PP!

That's great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never just say hi. And I don’t respond to people who just say hi to me online. Who would want to be in a relationship or even just friends with someone in need of your attention with such little effort? Ignore that lazy ass.

Um, on Bumble, YOU are the moron initating the conversation with "hi" - not the man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never just say hi. And I don’t respond to people who just say hi to me online. Who would want to be in a relationship or even just friends with someone in need of your attention with such little effort? Ignore that lazy ass.

Um, on Bumble, YOU are the moron initating the conversation with "hi" - not the man

DP, but I am not sure why you think sending "hi" would be limited to the first initiation?

PP starts with something more detailed, man responds "hi," she moves on. ???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never just say hi. And I don’t respond to people who just say hi to me online. Who would want to be in a relationship or even just friends with someone in need of your attention with such little effort? Ignore that lazy ass.

Um, on Bumble, YOU are the moron initating the conversation with "hi" - not the man

DP, but I am not sure why you think sending "hi" would be limited to the first initiation?

PP starts with something more detailed, man responds "hi," she moves on. ???

No the opposite. Have you people ever been on Bumble? The woman initiates contact, she may say "hi" as sort of a placeholder so the connection doesn't expire, the man will then say "hi" back and introduce himself and say whatever else and THAT'S IT - END. Nothing further.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never just say hi. And I don’t respond to people who just say hi to me online. Who would want to be in a relationship or even just friends with someone in need of your attention with such little effort? Ignore that lazy ass.

Um, on Bumble, YOU are the moron initating the conversation with "hi" - not the man

DP, but I am not sure why you think sending "hi" would be limited to the first initiation?

PP starts with something more detailed, man responds "hi," she moves on. ???

No the opposite. Have you people ever been on Bumble? The woman initiates contact, she may say "hi" as sort of a placeholder so the connection doesn't expire, the man will then say "hi" back and introduce himself and say whatever else and THAT'S IT - END. Nothing further.

How does that support this:

Um, on Bumble, YOU are the moron initating the conversation with "hi" - not the man

Or even make it legible? PP said that if a guy just says "hi," she moves on. And then you (or whomever above) went off.