S/o - what should caring white people do?

[Anonymous]

[quoteNot saying these things don't happen, but this is an assumption. For example: I am a white woman. I have received a few tickets in my time--including one for a uturn when I was eight months pregnant and the sign had just been placed there after people had been doing uturns there for years. I was not given a "bye." I have never been given a bye on traffic tickets, although I am a careful driver and have only been given a few. I have a grown white son who received a couple of tickets when he was still at home. He is a polite young man--but, no bye.

As for the goldfish in the store. No one should open a bag in the store--black or white. I don't say anything to others that do that--but, I always wonder if they intend to pay.

I'm the PP who posted the examples and I based it on real experiences I know of. Of course not every white person gets leniency from a judge. Of course not every black person is questioned about a robbery when stopped for a tail light burnt out! This was just some generalized examples based on real experiences to explain what white privilege is, especially since the Irish PP doesn't get it.

To all of the posters who say that a white person should just get out of the way, that they are making it about themselves - that's BS! It will take every segment of society to fix our society. Go ahead and discourage the white people that want to take action and see what happens - only the racist voices will be heard. How will that fix anything?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Elect a non-racist president, it starts at the top.

Joe Biden is a racist as well, so maybe we need a third party. If you don’t think so Google “Joe Biden” and “Jungle” and “Joe Biden” and “Strom Thurmond.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apparently we are all still racist 150 years after slavery, and 60 years after Jim Crow. There probably isn't a good solution. People mostly like to be around folks like themselves, and that's been true for all of human history.

It's institutionalized racism. The only way to end it is to tear the system down. As for people being with those like them, they need to mix it up and fast. We already see this within families and social groups. Change is slow, but it is also inevitable.

[Anonymous]

Bake cookies, blog, do various hashtags.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start reading. Start understanding just what white privilege is, how white supremacy is baked into the cake of America. Listen to black people talk about their experiences without getting defensive. Support black owned businesses and restaurants. Don’t center yourself. I’m tired and listening to the eerie silence (but blessed) in my curfewed neighborhood, so I’ll just say, of all things, Estee Laundry had a great post on this today.

I’m sure our friendly white supremacist posters will helpfully tell me I’m speaking gibberish, and I still consider myself a neophyte about this, but it’s up to us to change things. It’s not up to black people to fix the power structure they didn’t build and still have no comparative power in. If you and I have no influence or power, statistically speaking we still have more than the average black citizen.

Yes, get to work. If you have kids you should really be doing what you can to learn about racism in America--its been part of our country since the beginning and we need to do our part to eradicate it. Here are some books to help: White Fragility by DiAngelo, So

If you have kids make sure you buys books about people of color. If you don't know where to start look up books by Jason Reynolds, Kwame Alexander, Kekla Magoon, Jacqueline Woodson, and Angie Thomas. My kids (and I) have enjoyed their books.
Books that might help you, How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi as well as his book Stamped From The Beginning are both excellent (for kids or you try Stamped: Racism, Antiracism and You by Jason Reynolds and Ibram X. Kendi). So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo is incredibly helpful. Michael Eric Dyson's Tears We Cannot Stop: A Sermon to White America. Dyson wrote the foreward to White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo which is excellent and I think a must read for white people. Another helpful book for white people who are ready to do something constructive is Waking Up White by Debby Irving.

Explore your own implicit or unconscious bias at https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/education.html

I would also say seek out Black Media and voices. Twitter makes that easier these days. Support Black institutions like historically black colleges and universities, black businesses, black writers. Those are some things you can do to start. Above all as you do this, be humble, be curious, be willing to challenge yourself and be uncomfortable. That is where real growth happens. Thank you for caring. If you do the work, you will never regret it.

Suppose she has already done this. Suppose she has already read the literature, the studies. Supposed she owns the implicit bias in herself. And now she wants to do something active. Something to make things better. Besides vote, is there nothing she can do besides sit and feel good that she has educated herself?

As Malcolm X said to an earnest white woman in Spike Lee’s film, “Nothing.”

Stop making it all about you, even when you’re “trying to help.” Thinking that it’s your fight or you have anything to contribute is arrogant white privilege in and of it itself. That you cannot see that is ironic and troubling.

PP shut the entire fck up! Op, please ignore this fool. As an AA woman, I am touched beyond measure to see white people and other non-blacks stand in solidarity against racism. It is a beautiful show of humanity.

If you aren't the protesting type, than simple kindness is all that is needed.

[Anonymous]

White women can work for policy changes too. For changes in local law enforcement practices so that they match our community ethics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Start reading. Start understanding just what white privilege is, how white supremacy is baked into the cake of America. Listen to black people talk about their experiences without getting defensive. Support black owned businesses and restaurants. Don’t center yourself. I’m tired and listening to the eerie silence (but blessed) in my curfewed neighborhood, so I’ll just say, of all things, Estee Laundry had a great post on this today.

I’m sure our friendly white supremacist posters will helpfully tell me I’m speaking gibberish, and I still consider myself a neophyte about this, but it’s up to us to change things. It’s not up to black people to fix the power structure they didn’t build and still have no comparative power in. If you and I have no influence or power, statistically speaking we still have more than the average black citizen.

Yes, get to work. If you have kids you should really be doing what you can to learn about racism in America--its been part of our country since the beginning and we need to do our part to eradicate it. Here are some books to help: White Fragility by DiAngelo, So

If you have kids make sure you buys books about people of color. If you don't know where to start look up books by Jason Reynolds, Kwame Alexander, Kekla Magoon, Jacqueline Woodson, and Angie Thomas. My kids (and I) have enjoyed their books.
Books that might help you, How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi as well as his book Stamped From The Beginning are both excellent (for kids or you try Stamped: Racism, Antiracism and You by Jason Reynolds and Ibram X. Kendi). So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo is incredibly helpful. Michael Eric Dyson's Tears We Cannot Stop: A Sermon to White America. Dyson wrote the foreward to White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo which is excellent and I think a must read for white people. Another helpful book for white people who are ready to do something constructive is Waking Up White by Debby Irving.

Explore your own implicit or unconscious bias at https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/education.html

I would also say seek out Black Media and voices. Twitter makes that easier these days. Support Black institutions like historically black colleges and universities, black businesses, black writers. Those are some things you can do to start. Above all as you do this, be humble, be curious, be willing to challenge yourself and be uncomfortable. That is where real growth happens. Thank you for caring. If you do the work, you will never regret it.

Suppose she has already done this. Suppose she has already read the literature, the studies. Supposed she owns the implicit bias in herself. And now she wants to do something active. Something to make things better. Besides vote, is there nothing she can do besides sit and feel good that she has educated herself?

As Malcolm X said to an earnest white woman in Spike Lee’s film, “Nothing.”

Stop making it all about you, even when you’re “trying to help.” Thinking that it’s your fight or you have anything to contribute is arrogant white privilege in and of it itself. That you cannot see that is ironic and troubling.

We are all part of the whole, so I don’t understand why you would find it troubling that part of that whole is saying, « how best can we put our heads together to row in the right direction »

You are allowing your anger and weariness to blind you to allies that would strengthen your cause.

[Anonymous]

What I don't understand is this: why don't the police police themselves. They know who the bad apples are. This murderer cop has murdered before. If they refuse to clean themselves, then others will have to come in and clean them, and outsiders cannot possibly be able to do as good a job of recognizing which are the bad cops, which the good.

How can we get these cops to wake up and get rid of these bad cops themselves? If it is the unions preventing this, how can we help them fight the unions?

[Anonymous]

Protesting is not useless, first, OP. It’s one of the best tools we have to open people’s eyes. But it’s also not for everyone. I’ve participated before but am immunocompromised so am sitting these ones out.

Donate your money to the bail funds for the arrested protestors. Support Black owned businesses. Donate to anti-racist organizations.

Do not center yourself and your feelings. Be okay feeling uncomfortable sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Pat yourself on the back while you post caring memes on social media?

[Anonymous]

Contribute $$$ to defense funds for arrested protestors across the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t tolerate hate. Don’t just speak up when you friends say something racist, and then still be their friend when they learn not to say those things in front of you. Alienate them. In the workplace, don’t promote racists, don’t hire racists, and don’t give racists another chance. Let people know when a racist loses a job that it was because they’re racist. In school, don’t tolerate racists or people who did racist things and don’t give them second chances.

Is that too hard? Does that seem too extreme and make you too uncomfortable? My guess is yes, and that’s why racism and hate is still thriving.

Years ago one of my DC's and friends reported an incident in a classroom against an AA boy by a teacher. Sly and subtle but clear. I knew this fellow and his parents. Got nowhere with complaints-conversation with an AP. So at the next opportunity I went to a BS meeting where I knew there would be school staff including the dodging me principal. And a schoolboard member.

In front of many milling about I told the school board member the details and lack of response. Hah. Jaws dropped and people were all ears. I did as much as I could and that teacher was kept under control. And when I told the tale I made it clear that any recriminations on any students would NOT be tolerated.
With these big districts move out a bad staff and they just pop up at another school. Move them around like priests.

Then there is distancing and changing friends after call-outs. Public humiliation works well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not saying these things don't happen, but this is an assumption. For example: I am a white woman. I have received a few tickets in my time--including one for a uturn when I was eight months pregnant and the sign had just been placed there after people had been doing uturns there for years. I was not given a "bye." I have never been given a bye on traffic tickets, although I am a careful driver and have only been given a few. I have a grown white son who received a couple of tickets when he was still at home. He is a polite young man--but, no bye.

As for the goldfish in the store. No one should open a bag in the store--black or white. I don't say anything to others that do that--but, I always wonder if they intend to pay.

I'm the PP who posted the examples and I based it on real experiences I know of. Of course not every white person gets leniency from a judge. Of course not every black person is questioned about a robbery when stopped for a tail light burnt out! This was just some generalized examples based on real experiences to explain what white privilege is, especially since the Irish PP doesn't get it.

To all of the posters who say that a white person should just get out of the way, that they are making it about themselves - that's BS! It will take every segment of society to fix our society. Go ahead and discourage the white people that want to take action and see what happens - only the racist voices will be heard. How will that fix anything?

NP here. To the first PP...if a white person (or any would-be ally) wants to know what they can do, how about stop telling POC that they are wrong and really they are not treated any worse than anyone else, and just listen and try to understand first. I'm an Asian-American who also hasn't really experienced any leniency from a traffic cop, nonetheless it doesn't make me incapable of understanding that "Driving while black" is a thing. In fact, it can be a terrifying and potentially deadly thing. I have never felt terrified for my life when I was pulled over for a traffic violation. I have never been questioned about a crime that there's basically no evidence I was associated with while a police officer asked for my license and registration. If your takeaway from the PP's examples is that you also get traffic tickets, I don't know what to say.

Honestly, the discourse in the past few days has been fascinating in a not-good way. It makes me realize that there's a more fundamental problem in this country, which is that most people do not understand structural racism and its pernicious impacts. But, because they have strong incentives not to understand it, I don't know how you move forward. You can produce statistics ad nauseum about how black people are treated differently be LE (here's a good round up with context: https://www.vox.com/2020/5/30/21275507/minneapolis-george-floyd-protests-police-violence) and people will point out that there are higher incidences of violent crime in black communities rather than wonder why that is the case and how growing up with police officers who treat you like the enemy rightt from childhood might contribute to that. You can share parallel, real world examples of how subtle differences in treatment can add up over time, and people will nitpick examples or jump into comparing with their own experience.

This happens with people who have privilege they don't want to admit all the time. I'm a woman working in tech who is frequently the only woman in a meeting, and I can tell you I've seen and heard just about everything. A male colleague of mine recently sent me an article that contained a (to him) shocking statistic about how few women are in tech and made a comment about how he worries since his daughter wants to be an engineer. I had barely finished giving him one example about how frequently my ideas are dismissed (or just ignored) until a male colleague says the same thing 2 minutes later before he told me that he was sure every man has experienced that at one time or another.

If you want to do something useful, start by just listening. Resist the urge, at all costs, to respond with anything other than statements that indicate you've heard them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t tolerate hate. Don’t just speak up when you friends say something racist, and then still be their friend when they learn not to say those things in front of you. Alienate them. In the workplace, don’t promote racists, don’t hire racists, and don’t give racists another chance. Let people know when a racist loses a job that it was because they’re racist. In school, don’t tolerate racists or people who did racist things and don’t give them second chances.

Is that too hard? Does that seem too extreme and make you too uncomfortable? My guess is yes, and that’s why racism and hate is still thriving.

It doesn’t sound hard to me and it should not only apply to racism but sexism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this has been asked a dozen times before, but I still don’t understand the answer. What am I, as a suburban white person with no power or influence to do? If I saw something I would certainly speak up. Posting on social media seems empty and hollow. Protesting doesn’t seem useful. I vote for Democrats.

Everyone keeps saying unaffected people need to do something. What?

You can start by recognizing that you have a lot of power. For example, politicians care a lot more about what you think than about what a black person thinks, so ask the tough questions and vote in ways that don't perpetuate inequalities. Encourage your friends to do the same. More acutely, recognize that if an injustice is happening in front of you, even a small one like a shop owner pretending they don't see the black person waiting next to you and helping you first, point it out and refuse to accept its consequences and benefits.

Since it's an election year, a huge thing you can do right now is help POC to get registered to vote...and help eliminate barriers to their getting to polling places on election day. There are plenty of organizations you can join where you can help with that...including the GOTV efforts run by the DNC.