What do you tell your children about racism? How to stay safe?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The overwhelming majority of police encounters go just fine. I'm not saying systemic racism doesn't exist, or that individual police officers aren't explicitly racist, because many are. But risk needs to be put in perspective. I'm not saying to not coach your kids beforehand about what to do if stopped by police. But try not to heighten anxiety among children/young adults. 1,000 people were killed in 2019 by police officers. Out of millions of encounters. And those deaths are heartbreaking and tragic. But the risk is still incredibly small that it will happen to your loved one.

How many unwarranted stops of Black motorists in 2019?
How many unlawful stop and frisks of Black people in 2019?
How many unnecessary uses of force on Black people in 2019?
How many uncalled for instances of pointing a gun at unarmed Black people in 2019?
You can’t give me those numbers can you? Know why? Cause those aren’t stats that are logged by the police but they are indeed real experiences that Black people have to deal with every single day and yes it happens to millions of Black people day in and day out.
Don’t try and downplay the risk of being black in America with bullshit stats.

+1 Every single Black man I know has experienced one of the above. NYT has a decent article that tries to quantify some of what you ask above: https://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/25/us/racial-disparity-traffic-stops-driving-black.html

"Here in North Carolina’s third-largest city, officers pulled over African-American drivers for traffic violations at a rate far out of proportion with their share of the local driving population. They used their discretion to search black drivers or their cars more than twice as often as white motorists — even though they found drugs and weapons significantly more often when the driver was white.

Officers were more likely to stop black drivers for no discernible reason. And they were more likely to use force if the driver was black, even when they did not encounter physical resistance."

[Anonymous]

A great book my 11 year old daughter recently loved was a Ghost Boys. Evokes the stories of Tamar Rice and Emit Til in a way That helps readers process the injustice and grief and also find a way to heal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 38 now, but back in the fifth grade our sex ed talk was followed up by a conversation for the boys about what to expect once puberty started.

They told us that once we got over a certain height or developed facial hair that we'd be seen as a threat. Don't run through neighborhoods that we're not familiar with because they'll assume we stole something. Don't walk closely behind people, especially at night. Don't wear hoods. Don't walk with our hands in our pockets. If you're stopped by the police, be as polite as possible even if they're being mean because the slightest thing we do will be seen as aggression and justify them hurting or killing us. Never make any sudden moves at all. If they ask for ID, talk through every step of the process and move slow: "My wallet is in my back pocket. Do I have permission to get it? I'm reaching to get it now." They told us to always assume that someone is going to think we're a criminal. Don't get offended. It's more about them and their issues than ours. Don't feed into what they may expect you to be.

Howard University used to have a conference every year that we'd go to in middle school about staying safe and avoiding the police. It was called the Brother to Brother conference. I don't know if there's anything online that you can find, but I've lived by those rules since I was a child, and I had my run ins with the police starting around middle school.

I am so sorry. I’m sorry that society made this a part of your pre-teen experience, and that it is necessary to keep you safe. I don’t know what else to say except I see you, and I’m sorry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP my kid will be going to college In a Large city this fall; we were talking about the news today and reminded him about running from officer or ignoring commands, even if his non-black friends do. and DH stressed showing his ID if asked, even on campus. (Was reminded of an incident Obama has shared about When he was at Columbia U.)

We have been stressing this to DS over pass few years.... things like not having his hood on with hands in my pocket while in 7-11 with his non-black buddies.

Love the advice about being questioned and insisting on calling his parents.

If your kid is at least 18 (which I assume he is, or will be shortly, since he will be going to college) he does not have the right to have a parent present.

why?