Fixing my kid's rat's nest

[Anonymous]

This happened to me as a young teen too. I think we ran out of conditioner one day and I just figured I didn’t need it anymore. Just cut off the mat, it doesn’t matter if it’s close to the scalp. You know those haircuts where they shave the bottom half and then leave the top half long to cover it? It feels much less hot when you have long hair. It’ll just be like that. And when she ties it back, she’ll have some short hairs but it won’t be a big deal. Unless your daughter has some syndrome where her hair doesn’t grow normally, I promise this isn’t that big a deal. It’ll grow back before you know it.

[Anonymous]

Because I cannot get my hair cut my hair turns into a matted mess weekly if left to its own devices. You cannot comb my hair when dry or it’s a frizz bomb. Going forward, I suggest you live in conditioner in her hair and put it in a braid when wet.

[Anonymous]

This is OP, just wanted to give an update. We tried for a few days and it became clear we were not going to get the knots out. My daughter made the decision to stop trying and accepted that it would have to be cut.

We found a hair stylist who would come to our house (backyard), and she cut into the matted mess until she was able to untangle it. Then she cut all the hair into a layered bob, shorter in the back than the front. The stylist was truly a miracle worker and the result is amazing. My daughter is so happy and relieved after days of stressing.

She is getting used to the shorter cut and used some of her allowance money to buy some hair clips and head bands, and we are buying some new shampoo and conditioner that the stylist recommended.

Thanks to all those who shared their experiences, it was good for her to hear that this is a relatively common thing that happens. She definitely learned her lesson and knows that she has to take better care of her hair, and bring it to my attention earlier if there is a problem.

[Anonymous]

We just went through this exact thing. After trying to deal with it ourselves, with no success, I asked my hairdresser to come to our house. We set her up in our backyard, and she tried to undo the mass of tangles. She ended up just cutting it out--and fortunatley, my daughter had enough un-tangled hair underneath that it's barely noticeble. We are much more vigilant about making sure she brushes her hair every day.

[Anonymous]

Call me a helicopter if you want but this could just never happen at my house. I would definitely notice if one of my children did not brush their hair for an entire day, let alone longer. Also, after each shower when they are walking around in wet hair, it’s pretty easy to tell if it’s been combed or not.

Maybe all these kids need a little more adult supervision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call me a helicopter if you want but this could just never happen at my house. I would definitely notice if one of my children did not brush their hair for an entire day, let alone longer. Also, after each shower when they are walking around in wet hair, it’s pretty easy to tell if it’s been combed or not.

Maybe all these kids need a little more adult supervision.

Congratulations--you are clearly a superior parent and human with superior children. You win! Thanks for chiming in to let the rest of us know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call me a helicopter if you want but this could just never happen at my house. I would definitely notice if one of my children did not brush their hair for an entire day, let alone longer. Also, after each shower when they are walking around in wet hair, it’s pretty easy to tell if it’s been combed or not.

Maybe all these kids need a little more adult supervision.

Congratulations--you are clearly a superior parent and human with superior children. You win! Thanks for chiming in to let the rest of us know.

Parent your kids. Clearly the twelve year old can’t take care of herself. Do your job!

[Anonymous]

Mine got chopped off for that very reason one summer when I was about 10. I still remember standing in the yard before we left feeling the wind blow through my hair and grieving. My school picture that year shows a pixie cut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call me a helicopter if you want but this could just never happen at my house. I would definitely notice if one of my children did not brush their hair for an entire day, let alone longer. Also, after each shower when they are walking around in wet hair, it’s pretty easy to tell if it’s been combed or not.

Maybe all these kids need a little more adult supervision.

Congratulations--you are clearly a superior parent and human with superior children. You win! Thanks for chiming in to let the rest of us know.

Your child must not have thick hair. Sometimes girls can brush the hair and it appears smooth and brushed but is it is super thick, but then underneath layers their brush didn’t get all the way through remain tangled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call me a helicopter if you want but this could just never happen at my house. I would definitely notice if one of my children did not brush their hair for an entire day, let alone longer. Also, after each shower when they are walking around in wet hair, it’s pretty easy to tell if it’s been combed or not.

Maybe all these kids need a little more adult supervision.

Congratulations--you are clearly a superior parent and human with superior children. You win! Thanks for chiming in to let the rest of us know.

Your child must not have thick hair. Sometimes girls can brush the hair and it appears smooth and brushed but is it is super thick, but then underneath layers their brush didn’t get all the way through remain tangled.

I have one who does and one who doesn’t, and guess what? I check. It’s not that hard people. Do you think the kids are supposed to raise themselves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call me a helicopter if you want but this could just never happen at my house. I would definitely notice if one of my children did not brush their hair for an entire day, let alone longer. Also, after each shower when they are walking around in wet hair, it’s pretty easy to tell if it’s been combed or not.

Maybe all these kids need a little more adult supervision.

Congratulations--you are clearly a superior parent and human with superior children. You win! Thanks for chiming in to let the rest of us know.

Your child must not have thick hair. Sometimes girls can brush the hair and it appears smooth and brushed but is it is super thick, but then underneath layers their brush didn’t get all the way through remain tangled.

I have one who does and one who doesn’t, and guess what? I check. It’s not that hard people. Do you think the kids are supposed to raise themselves?

I will go ahead and call you a helicopter parent. My kid is 12. She takes a shower, sometimes at night before she goes to bed, sometimes the morning when I am working. I don't do hair checks on her when she is done. She was doing a fine job on her own until quarantine hit, and then she started just putting her hair up all the time. She didn't realize what would happen to it. Now she does. She is learning to be a self-sufficient person who makes her own choices and learns lessons. That is what growing up means. My parents didn't shelter me from ever making mistakes, and I don't do that to my kids either.

But feel free to pat yourself on the back about how great of a parent you are if that is what makes you happy. I just laugh at people like you and feel sorry for your kids.

[Anonymous]

Cut it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cut it.

OP says that's what they did.

[Anonymous]

Short hair isn’t a punishment. A short cut can be super cute and very freeing. There are 1000’s of women and young girls who will attest to how much they love short hair and will never go back to long hair.

[Anonymous]

My 7 year old has shoulder length hair and she mostly keeps it brushed. Be warned, op, my 3 year old has a bob and, even so, the back gets matted and snarled. I thought it was from rubbing against the car seat but even now (going no where) it was a huge mess. It didn’t matter if I picked it all out and conditioned it - it would be a snarl again the next day. A few weeks ago I grabbed the snarl and chopped it off. She had enough hair underneath she didn’t look bald. Then about one week ago I trimmed her bob a bit shorter since it had grown out and now where the snarl had been looks almost like intentional layers. And she let me start brushing her hair voluntarily / tries to brush it now. So short hair’s not a guarantee of avoiding the snarl and chopping the snarl out is so liberating!