Paying a new nanny.

[Anonymous]

OP, how soon is nanny supposed to start? Did you both sign a contract?

If I were in your situation, I would pay for at least two weeks if I'm not going to use her. You hired her and she is depending upon the pay, so you need to pay her at least for the two weeks notice you would be required (or should) give otherwise. From your previous responses, it seems like you want people to side with you that it's okay to not pay her. No one saw this virus coming, but the fact is you entered into an agreement with her as an employer and she accepted it and stopped looking based upon that decision. Yes, $4,000 per month is a lot to swallow. How would you feel if your employer told you they were going to let you go with no notice when you had accepted a job but not started? Why in the world are you questioning whether she might want do something you want to fire her for before she's even started?

I disagree with PP who said nanny could start doing story time. No new employee can manage a 3-year-old remotely who they've met one time. You will most likely not get 30 minutes of uninterrupted time with a 1 and 3 year old. Remote supervision doesn't make up for live supervision. However, if you do have her do the story time you should still pay the full salary. The best option is to pay her for 2 weeks to socially distance to your standards and then have her start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I would have a conversation with her about social distancing. If she is willing to practice it strictly in the weeks leading up to her start date, and during the time she is working with you, I would have her come.

Barring special circumstances, I think those of you who are paying nannies to stay away are insane.

OP here, I actually don't trust that she's taking the necessary precautions. She told me she planned on going to another state to visit a family member in between her last job and the new job. I had to tell her she should not go and she did not go, but who knows what she is doing now. I felt more comfortable hiring her because DH and I WFH full time, and again, she had great references.

Can she live in temporarily?

I've met her once, I'm not comfortable with that and I doubt she would either.

Wait. . . you've only met her ONCE but have agreed to let her take care of your children and pay her $4K a month?

NP How many in-person interviews do you need before hiring a nanny? And $4k is reasonable if it’s 50 hours a week

At least two: in-person interview, then trial day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My new nanny is supposed to start soon. I do not want her coming to the house and Dh and I will have to watch the kids and work. Should we 1. Not pay the nanny. 2. Pay her a portion of her salary. Or 3. Pay her the full salary. Keep in mind we barely know her or she could take our money and never start. It’s thousands of dollars we could be paying a near stranger for a service we aren’t getting. TIA.

Go with your gut. These responses are hysterical. Don’t pay her, let her go, start over when things get back to normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, how soon is nanny supposed to start? Did you both sign a contract?

If I were in your situation, I would pay for at least two weeks if I'm not going to use her. You hired her and she is depending upon the pay, so you need to pay her at least for the two weeks notice you would be required (or should) give otherwise. From your previous responses, it seems like you want people to side with you that it's okay to not pay her. No one saw this virus coming, but the fact is you entered into an agreement with her as an employer and she accepted it and stopped looking based upon that decision. Yes, $4,000 per month is a lot to swallow. How would you feel if your employer told you they were going to let you go with no notice when you had accepted a job but not started? Why in the world are you questioning whether she might want do something you want to fire her for before she's even started?

I disagree with PP who said nanny could start doing story time. No new employee can manage a 3-year-old remotely who they've met one time. You will most likely not get 30 minutes of uninterrupted time with a 1 and 3 year old. Remote supervision doesn't make up for live supervision. However, if you do have her do the story time you should still pay the full salary. The best option is to pay her for 2 weeks to socially distance to your standards and then have her start.

This. The nanny could have had another job were it not for the Op. OP asked the nanny not to travel so she could be appropriately socially distanced. The nanny acquiesced and Op still doesn’t think she owes the nanny anything. Op as long as you’re still getting paid, you need to pay this woman a few weeks severance and let her go find someone else who is serious about letting her work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My new nanny is supposed to start soon. I do not want her coming to the house and Dh and I will have to watch the kids and work. Should we 1. Not pay the nanny. 2. Pay her a portion of her salary. Or 3. Pay her the full salary. Keep in mind we barely know her or she could take our money and never start. It’s thousands of dollars we could be paying a near stranger for a service we aren’t getting. TIA.

Go with your gut. These responses are hysterical. Don’t pay her, let her go, start over when things get back to normal.

Depends on how much lead time you’re giving her. If she’s not due to start for a month, then let her go without severance or maybe 1 week to be a good person. If she’s supposed to start next week then give her some more severance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I would have a conversation with her about social distancing. If she is willing to practice it strictly in the weeks leading up to her start date, and during the time she is working with you, I would have her come.

Barring special circumstances, I think those of you who are paying nannies to stay away are insane.

OP here, I actually don't trust that she's taking the necessary precautions. She told me she planned on going to another state to visit a family member in between her last job and the new job. I had to tell her she should not go and she did not go, but who knows what she is doing now. I felt more comfortable hiring her because DH and I WFH full time, and again, she had great references.

Can she live in temporarily?

I've met her once, I'm not comfortable with that and I doubt she would either.

Wait. . . you've only met her ONCE but have agreed to let her take care of your children and pay her $4K a month?

NP How many in-person interviews do you need before hiring a nanny? And $4k is reasonable if it’s 50 hours a week

At least two: in-person interview, then trial day.

I work through an agency and have never done a trial day.

[Anonymous]

You asked her not to go visit her family, but still don’t want her to come in? Why did you disrupt her plans?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have a conversation with her about social distancing. If she is willing to practice it strictly in the weeks leading up to her start date, and during the time she is working with you, I would have her come.

Barring special circumstances, I think those of you who are paying nannies to stay away are insane.

OP here, I actually don't trust that she's taking the necessary precautions. She told me she planned on going to another state to visit a family member in between her last job and the new job. I had to tell her she should not go and she did not go, but who knows what she is doing now. I felt more comfortable hiring her because DH and I WFH full time, and again, she had great references.

Can she live in temporarily?

I've met her once, I'm not comfortable with that and I doubt she would either.

Wait. . . you've only met her ONCE but have agreed to let her take care of your children and pay her $4K a month?

NP How many in-person interviews do you need before hiring a nanny? And $4k is reasonable if it’s 50 hours a week

At least two: in-person interview, then trial day.

Nanny here and this is totally anecdotal and probably a coincidence but all of my wonderful employers and their positions (3 in total) were offered right at the first interview while my only awful employers insisted on two interviews.

[Anonymous]

The best answer so far.
As a nanny myself I agree with this 100%
I would definitely start looking for other job opportunity the second a family tells me they are not paying me during this crisis.People forget we have bills too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It's hard to write someone I hardly know a check for $4000/month. What if she quits after a month? What if she messes up and we want to fire her? We hired her because the references were great. A lot of my friends are saying don't pay her, she can get unemployment. It's a lot of money to feel like I'm throwing away. I would definitely expect to pay a daycare or nanny who had been with us for 1 year+, or even a few months.

Look, your concerns are valid. No one anticipated this virus. If you don’t live up to your end of the contract you have to just dismiss her. Nannies are in high demand right now. I doubt she’ll have trouble finding another job.

But there is no way - legally, morally or ethically - that you can not pay her and expect her to be around when this is over.

[Anonymous]

Pay her 2 weeks salary as an apology and let her go find another job. There is NO way she’s going to keep waiting for your position to start without being paid and you don’t sound like you have any intention of having her start anytime soon. So offer her two weeks pay and let her move on to another job.

[Anonymous]

It could be months before you feel comfortable having a nanny work in your home. Let her know asap that you will not be able to hire her and let her move on. If it is less than 2 weeks from the agreed upon start date, pay her for the difference

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not paying her will guarantee a souring to the relationship right in the beginning. If you deny paying her, better be prepared to start your search over again (to be clear, if I was a nanny, I would not work for a family that had left a predecessor in the lurch like this).

If the nanny never works for them, she wouldn’t be a “predecessor” so how would you know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not paying her will guarantee a souring to the relationship right in the beginning. If you deny paying her, better be prepared to start your search over again (to be clear, if I was a nanny, I would not work for a family that had left a predecessor in the lurch like this).

If the nanny never works for them, she wouldn’t be a “predecessor” so how would you know?

The story of the nanny-who-never-started will eventually come out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have a conversation with her about social distancing. If she is willing to practice it strictly in the weeks leading up to her start date, and during the time she is working with you, I would have her come.

Barring special circumstances, I think those of you who are paying nannies to stay away from is insane.

OP here, I don't trust that she's taking the necessary precautions. She told me she planned on going to another state to visit a family member in between her last job and the new job. I had to tell her she should not go and she did not go, but who knows what she is doing now. I felt more comfortable hiring her because DH and I WFH full time, and again, she had great references.

Can she live in temporarily?

I've met her once, I'm not comfortable with that and I doubt she would either.

Wait. . . you've only met her ONCE but have agreed to let her take care of your children and pay her $4K a month?

NP How many in-person interviews do you need before hiring a nanny? And $4k is reasonable if it’s 50 hours a week

At least two: in-person interview, then trial day.

Yep, I had one phone interview, one face to face interview and 3 days trial. A year after, we are SO happy with each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not paying her will guarantee a souring to the relationship right in the beginning. If you deny paying her, better be prepared to start your search over again (to be clear, if I was a nanny, I would not work for a family that had left a predecessor in the lurch like this).

If the nanny never works for them, she wouldn’t be a “predecessor” so how would you know?

The story of the nanny-who-never-started will eventually come out.

Nah.