Paying a new nanny.

[Anonymous]

Not paying her will guarantee a souring to the relationship right in the beginning. If you deny paying her, better be prepared to start your search over again (to be clear, if I was a nanny, I would not work for a family that had left a predecessor in the lurch like this).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It's hard to write someone I hardly know a check for $4000/month. What if she quits after a month? What if she messes up and we want to fire her? We hired her because the references were great. A lot of my friends are saying don't pay her, she can get unemployment. It's a lot of money to feel like I'm throwing away. I would definitely expect to pay a daycare or nanny who had been with us for 1 year+, or even a few months.

Look, your concerns are valid. No one anticipated this virus. If you don’t live up to your end of the contract you have to just dismiss her. Nannies are in high demand right now. I doubt she’ll have trouble finding another job.

But there is no way - legally, morally or ethically - that you can not pay her and expect her to be around when this is over.

[Anonymous]

I would pay her full salary to social distance for two weeks and do zoom story time and other remote stuff with your older child, then she can start normally after that. If you don’t trust her to social distance until starting, then you have a nanny you don’t trust, which doesn’t work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would pay her full salary to social distance for two weeks and do zoom story time and other remote stuff with your older child, then she can start normally after that. If you don’t trust her to social distance until starting, then you have a nanny you don’t trust, which doesn’t work.

This is the best solution.

[Anonymous]

Op, then let her go. So she can freely look for another position. Don't expect her to be available for you when all of this is over without a dime. it seems like she's ready to start working. You are the one who doesn't want her to come. And you can start looking for another nanny when you feel more comfortable somebody coming to your house.
One thing that I agree with you is $4000/month is a lot of money for a service that you are receiving. This a tough situation.
I have a nanny friend in a situation kinda like this. She started a new position. after 3 weeks in, the family asked her no to come because she takes public transportation. And also her mom is an elder woman who works in a grocery store and takes public transportation as well. So the family considers my friend a high-risk person. They asked her no to come for now. But they are paying her. This is a part-time position. If I am not wrong, it’s just 25 hours a week.

-A Nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have a conversation with her about social distancing. If she is willing to practice it strictly in the weeks leading up to her start date, and during the time she is working with you, I would have her come.

Barring special circumstances, I think those of you who are paying nannies to stay away are insane.

OP here, I actually don't trust that she's taking the necessary precautions. She told me she planned on going to another state to visit a family member in between her last job and the new job. I had to tell her she should not go and she did not go, but who knows what she is doing now. I felt more comfortable hiring her because DH and I WFH full time, and again, she had great references.

Can she live in temporarily?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have a conversation with her about social distancing. If she is willing to practice it strictly in the weeks leading up to her start date, and during the time she is working with you, I would have her come.

Barring special circumstances, I think those of you who are paying nannies to stay away are insane.

OP here, I actually don't trust that she's taking the necessary precautions. She told me she planned on going to another state to visit a family member in between her last job and the new job. I had to tell her she should not go and she did not go, but who knows what she is doing now. I felt more comfortable hiring her because DH and I WFH full time, and again, she had great references.

Can she live in temporarily?

I've met her once, I'm not comfortable with that and I doubt she would either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have a conversation with her about social distancing. If she is willing to practice it strictly in the weeks leading up to her start date, and during the time she is working with you, I would have her come.

Barring special circumstances, I think those of you who are paying nannies to stay away are insane.

OP here, I actually don't trust that she's taking the necessary precautions. She told me she planned on going to another state to visit a family member in between her last job and the new job. I had to tell her she should not go and she did not go, but who knows what she is doing now. I felt more comfortable hiring her because DH and I WFH full time, and again, she had great references.

Can she live in temporarily?

I've met her once, I'm not comfortable with that and I doubt she would either.

Then tell her you are not going to have her start. Pay her one week’s salary as an apology, and don’t contest the unemployment claim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My new nanny is supposed to start soon. I do not want her coming to the house and Dh and I will have to watch the kids and work. Should we 1. Not pay the nanny. 2. Pay her a portion of her salary. Or 3. Pay her the full salary. Keep in mind we barely know her or she could take our money and never start. It’s thousands of dollars we could be paying a near stranger for a service we aren’t getting. TIA.

You actually that think she is going to sit around waiting for you to pay her,? She's lucky in that she knows that you are insane and should be looking for a new job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have a conversation with her about social distancing. If she is willing to practice it strictly in the weeks leading up to her start date, and during the time she is working with you, I would have her come.

Barring special circumstances, I think those of you who are paying nannies to stay away are insane.

OP here, I actually don't trust that she's taking the necessary precautions. She told me she planned on going to another state to visit a family member in between her last job and the new job. I had to tell her she should not go and she did not go, but who knows what she is doing now. I felt more comfortable hiring her because DH and I WFH full time, and again, she had great references.

Can she live in temporarily?

I've met her once, I'm not comfortable with that and I doubt she would either.

Wait. . . you've only met her ONCE but have agreed to let her take care of your children and pay her $4K a month?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have a conversation with her about social distancing. If she is willing to practice it strictly in the weeks leading up to her start date, and during the time she is working with you, I would have her come.

Barring special circumstances, I think those of you who are paying nannies to stay away are insane.

OP here, I actually don't trust that she's taking the necessary precautions. She told me she planned on going to another state to visit a family member in between her last job and the new job. I had to tell her she should not go and she did not go, but who knows what she is doing now. I felt more comfortable hiring her because DH and I WFH full time, and again, she had great references.

Can she live in temporarily?

I've met her once, I'm not comfortable with that and I doubt she would either.

Wait. . . you've only met her ONCE but have agreed to let her take care of your children and pay her $4K a month?

NP How many in-person interviews do you need before hiring a nanny? And $4k is reasonable if it’s 50 hours a week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have a conversation with her about social distancing. If she is willing to practice it strictly in the weeks leading up to her start date, and during the time she is working with you, I would have her come.

Barring special circumstances, I think those of you who are paying nannies to stay away are insane.

OP here, I actually don't trust that she's taking the necessary precautions. She told me she planned on going to another state to visit a family member in between her last job and the new job. I had to tell her she should not go and she did not go, but who knows what she is doing now. I felt more comfortable hiring her because DH and I WFH full time, and again, she had great references.

Can she live in temporarily?

I've met her once, I'm not comfortable with that and I doubt she would either.

Wait. . . you've only met her ONCE but have agreed to let her take care of your children and pay her $4K a month?

NP here. We only met our amazing nanny once and offered her the position in writing that same evening (pending reference and background checks which were all stellar). And we pay her a bit over $4000 for a 38 hour week.

[Anonymous]

*I haven’t read the through this thread*

If she can collect unemployment you could offer her a large signing bonus to get her through the lapse in pay and a retention bonus to be paid within X weeks, when she starts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have a conversation with her about social distancing. If she is willing to practice it strictly in the weeks leading up to her start date, and during the time she is working with you, I would have her come.

Barring special circumstances, I think those of you who are paying nannies to stay away are insane.

OP here, I actually don't trust that she's taking the necessary precautions. She told me she planned on going to another state to visit a family member in between her last job and the new job. I had to tell her she should not go and she did not go, but who knows what she is doing now. I felt more comfortable hiring her because DH and I WFH full time, and again, she had great references.

Can she live in temporarily?

I've met her once, I'm not comfortable with that and I doubt she would either.

Wait. . . you've only met her ONCE but have agreed to let her take care of your children and pay her $4K a month?

That’s pretty standard, PP. One interview in your home with you, your partner, and the baby as well as all relevant family members (grandparents if they’re going to be involved). Nannies are available for a very short time between positions do you have to move fast if you find a perfect one. You check references and run background checks after you offer the job and she accepts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My new nanny is supposed to start soon. I do not want her coming to the house and Dh and I will have to watch the kids and work. Should we 1. Not pay the nanny. 2. Pay her a portion of her salary. Or 3. Pay her the full salary. Keep in mind we barely know her or she could take our money and never start. It’s thousands of dollars we could be paying a near stranger for a service we aren’t getting. TIA.

You actually that think she is going to sit around waiting for you to pay her,? She's lucky in that she knows that you are insane and should be looking for a new job.

+1. This. The nanny needs to pay her bills one way or another. She wants to work and you don’t want her to. If you’re reneging on the contract, try to do it with some sense of ethical treatment (and no, 1 week of severance is not sufficient.)