Flying in family to help during telework / social distancing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd wonder why a healthy woman in her mid-fifties would willingly leave her home, her car, her friends, maybe a husband or a boyfriend to do childcare for an unspecified period of time. I'd be waiting to find out something I really didn't like, a mental health issue, finantial difficulties, a bad breakup rendering her homeless, any number of things. It seems a little too good, and I always wonder when I see that kind of thing.

Older people have peer groups, interests, schedules, things they like and don't like, just like we do. I wish that was something that was discussed more in society, in literature, evrywhere. What will grandma do for her own mental health while she is with you? Reading only works so well for so long.

If your kids are in daycare, then they are probably young. Are you sure grandma can and wants to take care of them indeffinately?

I remember my grandma taking care of me when I had chicken pox. She was with us for three weeks, and before she came, she specified that she'd leave after 21 days... which she did. By the end of the third week, she was ready to go home. She was also a nurse, so had medical training. I don't recall her ever coming again to help out in that way, I think it was harder for her then she expected.
Be sure you don't burn out Grandma. When mine stayed with us, I was little, but I wasn't in diapers and we didn't have carseats to worry about. And, before anybody jumps on me, my family gets along fine. There was no big fight, my grandma simply didn't offer to help in that kind of way again, nor did my parents ask. Likewise, my parents have never offered, and we have never asked them to care for our kids for long periods of time. Maybe everybody learned something from the chicken pox experience.


I worry too that you and your husband's mom are babying him a bit much. The covet-19 virus is his job, but he is certainly "allowed" to think about anything he wants. Do whatever you can to convey to him that work is work and home is home. It's no different from a doctor not letting his kids ever go to the pool or play outside because he deals with patients who hit their head on the diving board or came in with broken leg.

Your husband may be correct but that doesn't mean he is retaining healthy behavior paterns or coping mechanisms.

Remember that grandma views your husband as her little boy, or maybe a young teen. Will she fuss if you expect him to give the kids a bath, stop work to eat dinner with the family, go to bed so the two of you can be in bed together, or will she treat him like another child? "Oh Sally, you don't need to have him eat with us, I'll bring him a plate" "Why do you want him in bed with you, he loves (fill in favorite sport) "Can't you give the kids a bath, he does so much already".

Those comments get old very quickly.



I would also worry that your husband would have a hard time adjusting to life as a husband and father once grandma leaves. He seems like he's preparing a bit too much, almost like he's trying to live out a fantasy where he gets to work from home, the kids are cared for by a loving grandma, and then he gets to stop working each day and have a wife and a mother take care of everything.

Wow. I just uh, don't know what to say about this.

MY grandfather came to take care of me when my brother was in the hospital so my dad could go to work while my mom stayed with my brother. Apparently we need to question his mental health according to PP...

[Anonymous]

I agree with your husband. I want to fly my MIL in just to be able to have her avoid the virus. Daycare every day is riskier for exposure than flying. Your kids are basically getting on an 9 hour flight every day.

[Anonymous]

What airports does she need to fly through to get to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd wonder why a healthy woman in her mid-fifties would willingly leave her home, her car, her friends, maybe a husband or a boyfriend to do childcare for an unspecified period of time. I'd be waiting to find out something I really didn't like, a mental health issue, finantial difficulties, a bad breakup rendering her homeless, any number of things. It seems a little too good, and I always wonder when I see that kind of thing.

Older people have peer groups, interests, schedules, things they like and don't like, just like we do. I wish that was something that was discussed more in society, in literature, evrywhere. What will grandma do for her own mental health while she is with you? Reading only works so well for so long.

If your kids are in daycare, then they are probably young. Are you sure grandma can and wants to take care of them indeffinately?

I remember my grandma taking care of me when I had chicken pox. She was with us for three weeks, and before she came, she specified that she'd leave after 21 days... which she did. By the end of the third week, she was ready to go home. She was also a nurse, so had medical training. I don't recall her ever coming again to help out in that way, I think it was harder for her then she expected.
Be sure you don't burn out Grandma. When mine stayed with us, I was little, but I wasn't in diapers and we didn't have carseats to worry about. And, before anybody jumps on me, my family gets along fine. There was no big fight, my grandma simply didn't offer to help in that kind of way again, nor did my parents ask. Likewise, my parents have never offered, and we have never asked them to care for our kids for long periods of time. Maybe everybody learned something from the chicken pox experience.


I worry too that you and your husband's mom are babying him a bit much. The covet-19 virus is his job, but he is certainly "allowed" to think about anything he wants. Do whatever you can to convey to him that work is work and home is home. It's no different from a doctor not letting his kids ever go to the pool or play outside because he deals with patients who hit their head on the diving board or came in with broken leg.

Your husband may be correct but that doesn't mean he is retaining healthy behavior paterns or coping mechanisms.

Remember that grandma views your husband as her little boy, or maybe a young teen. Will she fuss if you expect him to give the kids a bath, stop work to eat dinner with the family, go to bed so the two of you can be in bed together, or will she treat him like another child? "Oh Sally, you don't need to have him eat with us, I'll bring him a plate" "Why do you want him in bed with you, he loves (fill in favorite sport) "Can't you give the kids a bath, he does so much already".

Those comments get old very quickly.



I would also worry that your husband would have a hard time adjusting to life as a husband and father once grandma leaves. He seems like he's preparing a bit too much, almost like he's trying to live out a fantasy where he gets to work from home, the kids are cared for by a loving grandma, and then he gets to stop working each day and have a wife and a mother take care of everything.

Wow. I just uh, don't know what to say about this.

Posts like that make me infinitely thankful for the family I was raised in. We are ride or die for each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What airports does she need to fly through to get to you?

OP here. Small regional out west where there's no cases in the state and then transfer in Minneapolis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd wonder why a healthy woman in her mid-fifties would willingly leave her home, her car, her friends, maybe a husband or a boyfriend to do childcare for an unspecified period of time. I'd be waiting to find out something I really didn't like, a mental health issue, finantial difficulties, a bad breakup rendering her homeless, any number of things. It seems a little too good, and I always wonder when I see that kind of thing.

Older people have peer groups, interests, schedules, things they like and don't like, just like we do. I wish that was something that was discussed more in society, in literature, evrywhere. What will grandma do for her own mental health while she is with you? Reading only works so well for so long.

If your kids are in daycare, then they are probably young. Are you sure grandma can and wants to take care of them indeffinately?

I remember my grandma taking care of me when I had chicken pox. She was with us for three weeks, and before she came, she specified that she'd leave after 21 days... which she did. By the end of the third week, she was ready to go home. She was also a nurse, so had medical training. I don't recall her ever coming again to help out in that way, I think it was harder for her then she expected.
Be sure you don't burn out Grandma. When mine stayed with us, I was little, but I wasn't in diapers and we didn't have carseats to worry about. And, before anybody jumps on me, my family gets along fine. There was no big fight, my grandma simply didn't offer to help in that kind of way again, nor did my parents ask. Likewise, my parents have never offered, and we have never asked them to care for our kids for long periods of time. Maybe everybody learned something from the chicken pox experience.


I worry too that you and your husband's mom are babying him a bit much. The covet-19 virus is his job, but he is certainly "allowed" to think about anything he wants. Do whatever you can to convey to him that work is work and home is home. It's no different from a doctor not letting his kids ever go to the pool or play outside because he deals with patients who hit their head on the diving board or came in with broken leg.

Your husband may be correct but that doesn't mean he is retaining healthy behavior paterns or coping mechanisms.

Remember that grandma views your husband as her little boy, or maybe a young teen. Will she fuss if you expect him to give the kids a bath, stop work to eat dinner with the family, go to bed so the two of you can be in bed together, or will she treat him like another child? "Oh Sally, you don't need to have him eat with us, I'll bring him a plate" "Why do you want him in bed with you, he loves (fill in favorite sport) "Can't you give the kids a bath, he does so much already".

Those comments get old very quickly.



I would also worry that your husband would have a hard time adjusting to life as a husband and father once grandma leaves. He seems like he's preparing a bit too much, almost like he's trying to live out a fantasy where he gets to work from home, the kids are cared for by a loving grandma, and then he gets to stop working each day and have a wife and a mother take care of everything.

Wow! You have so many issues. I am sorry for you. Plenty of parents love their children and will go the extra mile for them willingly. Don’t project and get yourself some help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd definitely do it. We are stripping clothes right inside the front door, then washing hands. I'd take kids out of daycare immediately.

I don't know where you live, but you do realize that the United States has 4 cases per million people (with most of those repatriated straight to hospitals)? If you drive to work, you are at greater risk of dying,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd wonder why a healthy woman in her mid-fifties would willingly leave her home, her car, her friends, maybe a husband or a boyfriend to do childcare for an unspecified period of time. I'd be waiting to find out something I really didn't like, a mental health issue, finantial difficulties, a bad breakup rendering her homeless, any number of things. It seems a little too good, and I always wonder when I see that kind of thing.

Older people have peer groups, interests, schedules, things they like and don't like, just like we do. I wish that was something that was discussed more in society, in literature, evrywhere. What will grandma do for her own mental health while she is with you? Reading only works so well for so long.

If your kids are in daycare, then they are probably young. Are you sure grandma can and wants to take care of them indeffinately?

I remember my grandma taking care of me when I had chicken pox. She was with us for three weeks, and before she came, she specified that she'd leave after 21 days... which she did. By the end of the third week, she was ready to go home. She was also a nurse, so had medical training. I don't recall her ever coming again to help out in that way, I think it was harder for her then she expected.
Be sure you don't burn out Grandma. When mine stayed with us, I was little, but I wasn't in diapers and we didn't have carseats to worry about. And, before anybody jumps on me, my family gets along fine. There was no big fight, my grandma simply didn't offer to help in that kind of way again, nor did my parents ask. Likewise, my parents have never offered, and we have never asked them to care for our kids for long periods of time. Maybe everybody learned something from the chicken pox experience.


I worry too that you and your husband's mom are babying him a bit much. The covet-19 virus is his job, but he is certainly "allowed" to think about anything he wants. Do whatever you can to convey to him that work is work and home is home. It's no different from a doctor not letting his kids ever go to the pool or play outside because he deals with patients who hit their head on the diving board or came in with broken leg.

Your husband may be correct but that doesn't mean he is retaining healthy behavior paterns or coping mechanisms.

Remember that grandma views your husband as her little boy, or maybe a young teen. Will she fuss if you expect him to give the kids a bath, stop work to eat dinner with the family, go to bed so the two of you can be in bed together, or will she treat him like another child? "Oh Sally, you don't need to have him eat with us, I'll bring him a plate" "Why do you want him in bed with you, he loves (fill in favorite sport) "Can't you give the kids a bath, he does so much already".

Those comments get old very quickly.



I would also worry that your husband would have a hard time adjusting to life as a husband and father once grandma leaves. He seems like he's preparing a bit too much, almost like he's trying to live out a fantasy where he gets to work from home, the kids are cared for by a loving grandma, and then he gets to stop working each day and have a wife and a mother take care of everything.

Wow! You have so many issues. I am sorry for you. Plenty of parents love their children and will go the extra mile for them willingly. Don’t project and get yourself some help.

+1. PP is crazy town

[Anonymous]

I would do it ASAP. It may be more dangerous for her to travel in a week or two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd definitely do it. We are stripping clothes right inside the front door, then washing hands. I'd take kids out of daycare immediately.

I don't know where you live, but you do realize that the United States has 4 cases per million people (with most of those repatriated straight to hospitals)? If you drive to work, you are at greater risk of dying,

Wait until those test kits are actually available. The cases are going to explode.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd wonder why a healthy woman in her mid-fifties would willingly leave her home, her car, her friends, maybe a husband or a boyfriend to do childcare for an unspecified period of time. I'd be waiting to find out something I really didn't like, a mental health issue, finantial difficulties, a bad breakup rendering her homeless, any number of things. It seems a little too good, and I always wonder when I see that kind of thing.

Older people have peer groups, interests, schedules, things they like and don't like, just like we do. I wish that was something that was discussed more in society, in literature, evrywhere. What will grandma do for her own mental health while she is with you? Reading only works so well for so long.

If your kids are in daycare, then they are probably young. Are you sure grandma can and wants to take care of them indeffinately?

I remember my grandma taking care of me when I had chicken pox. She was with us for three weeks, and before she came, she specified that she'd leave after 21 days... which she did. By the end of the third week, she was ready to go home. She was also a nurse, so had medical training. I don't recall her ever coming again to help out in that way, I think it was harder for her then she expected.
Be sure you don't burn out Grandma. When mine stayed with us, I was little, but I wasn't in diapers and we didn't have carseats to worry about. And, before anybody jumps on me, my family gets along fine. There was no big fight, my grandma simply didn't offer to help in that kind of way again, nor did my parents ask. Likewise, my parents have never offered, and we have never asked them to care for our kids for long periods of time. Maybe everybody learned something from the chicken pox experience.


I worry too that you and your husband's mom are babying him a bit much. The covet-19 virus is his job, but he is certainly "allowed" to think about anything he wants. Do whatever you can to convey to him that work is work and home is home. It's no different from a doctor not letting his kids ever go to the pool or play outside because he deals with patients who hit their head on the diving board or came in with broken leg.

Your husband may be correct but that doesn't mean he is retaining healthy behavior paterns or coping mechanisms.

Remember that grandma views your husband as her little boy, or maybe a young teen. Will she fuss if you expect him to give the kids a bath, stop work to eat dinner with the family, go to bed so the two of you can be in bed together, or will she treat him like another child? "Oh Sally, you don't need to have him eat with us, I'll bring him a plate" "Why do you want him in bed with you, he loves (fill in favorite sport) "Can't you give the kids a bath, he does so much already".

Those comments get old very quickly.



I would also worry that your husband would have a hard time adjusting to life as a husband and father once grandma leaves. He seems like he's preparing a bit too much, almost like he's trying to live out a fantasy where he gets to work from home, the kids are cared for by a loving grandma, and then he gets to stop working each day and have a wife and a mother take care of everything.

Wow! You have so many issues. I am sorry for you. Plenty of parents love their children and will go the extra mile for them willingly. Don’t project and get yourself some help.

+1. PP is crazy town

This. She wants to do it because she loves her kid and grandkids. No other info is needed.

[Anonymous]

Yes I would have her come. There are precautions she can take while flying.