DH wants to separate, I should see an attorney right?

[Anonymous]

I think he's cheating. My cheating ex did this. We had an argument and we both said things that were unkind but not unforgivable by any stretch.

He basically stopped contact, moved upstairs, and kept coming back to how upset he was, even though we'd both said things we didn't really mean.

Turns out he'd been in an affair for over a year at that point, and was basically using the argument as a pretext to leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see it the same way either. I used to also think couples fight because it was normalized by my wife and a lot of her friends had similar relationships. I never fight with my new wife (maybe argue once a year) and would never stay in a relationship where there were voices raised weekly

Same. My ex and I fought. I've been married to DH for 17 yrs and we don't fight. Disagree, sure, but no fights...and definitely not the knock down drag outs like I had with my ex. (We weren't married long, haha)

[Anonymous]

Yes

Divorce threats are a deal breaker, plus he is following it up with some actions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see why you need a lawyer just yet.
If he goes thru with divorce he will contact you re: property division and then you will find a lawyer.
Sounds like he used the situation as an excuse to leave.
I know it’s hard but you will find out more soon. Try to go about as usual as much as possible.

OP here. I don't know, it feels like I'm just leaving it in his hands, as opposed to taking control. I just contacted a lawyer about a consultation and started listing out all assets and debts, and already feel so much better.

Good. Make a list of questions for the attorney. Since you can't trust him it's best to know what kind of outcome you can expect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. He sounds immature (or you are unpleasant and he’s had enough, one of the two.) Either way, it sounds like he’s been done for a long time and this was the excuse he needed to end it. Time to start finalizing it.

There have been times I've been unpleasant. There have been times that he's done things that upset me. My response is couples fight. He doesn't see it the same way.

This is b.s.

There are fights and there are fights. Sounds like you crossed a line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. He sounds immature (or you are unpleasant and he’s had enough, one of the two.) Either way, it sounds like he’s been done for a long time and this was the excuse he needed to end it. Time to start finalizing it.

There have been times I've been unpleasant. There have been times that he's done things that upset me. My response is couples fight. He doesn't see it the same way.

This is b.s.

There are fights and there are fights. Sounds like you crossed a line.

Not OP but how do you know? The husband is acting strange. He should be using words to say what he thinks and maybe the problem is his inability to communicate.