How to help friend with child with autism

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not project your feelings on to it. As a mom of a child with special needs, I struggle with feeling condescended or pitied. I have a great life and I love my differently baked child. Dealing with people being oh so sorry for me is harder than he is any day. Don’t decide how she feels about and treat her like a normal mom.

Well, I am a parent of a special needs kid and what you read as condescension, I read as compassion and empathy. I am not a normal mom and yes, I could use the extra understanding and extra help. You sound very defensive.

I am not - I just like my life, I love my kid, I am not "struggling", I get tired of having to assure others that I am fine, and not as sad and depressed as they insist I must be. Its not empathy to decide how someone else should feel.

Why are you so defensive and angry? No one is saying we are sad and depressed. As a mom of a special needs kid, I am too busy to feel sad. I feel stressed, having to juggle full time work and multiple therapy appointments. It's empathy when others know that it is not easy to be mom of special needs kid. No one is saying you are sad and depressed but I'll be damn if you think our lives are the same as moms of just regular kids with no disabilities. It's people like you that cause other people with good intentions to thread so oh so carefully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not project your feelings on to it. As a mom of a child with special needs, I struggle with feeling condescended or pitied. I have a great life and I love my differently baked child. Dealing with people being oh so sorry for me is harder than he is any day. Don’t decide how she feels about and treat her like a normal mom.

Well, I am a parent of a special needs kid and what you read as condescension, I read as compassion and empathy. I am not a normal mom and yes, I could use the extra understanding and extra help. You sound very defensive.

I am not - I just like my life, I love my kid, I am not "struggling", I get tired of having to assure others that I am fine, and not as sad and depressed as they insist I must be. Its not empathy to decide how someone else should feel.

Why do you assume that you are representative of all SN moms and get to speak for them? Lots of SN moms *are* struggling. OP mentioned that the mom appeared to be physically struggling, which is an observation not a judgment. There are many, many SN moms who appreciate empathy and compassion.

[Anonymous]

OP - stop making this about what you didn't do AND make it about what you can do going forward. Keep her in your life. Spend time with her and her child.