when would you let a teen spend a night alone at home?

[Anonymous]

My parents were divorced and my father lived in a very small town without any good schools, so when my mother suddenly died when I was one month shy of turning 16, I lived alone. I was a pretty good kid but he would still check out on me on strange hours - sometimes he would call at 2:00am just to make sure I was home.

Of course my friends wanted to have parties at my home but the fear of disappointing my father never let me agree with it, only once and I asked him permition before (and he gave me). The other parents also wouldn't let their kids go to a party (or going out) without knowing where, for how long and with whom they were, so it was not really feasible to have a party without the parents knowledge.


Just saying, but each kid is different and if you trust your son, it is a great way to show that to him and set the expectations high.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't do it. I was an A student, played sports, etc, and had parties with my much older boyfriend and my high school friends when my parents were out of town. If there was EVER a kid that could be trusted, it would have appeared to be me.

You don't want the liability of what other kids, friends of DS, may do in your house or on the road after leaving if he is unsupervised. Think of the potential liability.

Me too sister!! Had my first beer when may parents left me (15) and my sister (the summer before she headed to college) home for two nights. My sister's boyfriends' friends came over and then later that night scared the crap out of us by cutting the electricity to the house somehow. I wouldn't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you kidding me? That is a sad commentary on your relationship with your children if you suggest locking up your jewelry.

I'm not PP, but I believe the locking up is in case the DS invites a friend who he didn't realize had bad intentions. DS may be naive and not be aware of what is going on. This does happen.

[Anonymous]

I agree. I have a 17 year old daughter, and when we take weekend trips we make her stay at my mom's house (glad I have that option!). I do still get nervous because she can get in the house if needed, but we ensure that she is at my mom's at night. Thus far, there have been no incidents (at least, that we're aware of.

[Anonymous]

I was a great kid--like unusually good! But there was a year at 16 when my parents were away nearly every weekend caring for my grandmother as she was dying out of state. I did thing over those weekends that I assure you I absolutely never would have done had my parents stayed in town. I wouldn't do it--a 16 year old is not ready to be on his or her own for a weekend, imo.

[Anonymous]

Wow - I was not an angel by any means - my parents were away a lot caring for grandparents my Jr. and Sr. years - but I must tell you, I never had more than a few kids over - I would never want something to happen to our house - I knew my parents would flip out and respected that. I can't believe that people are posting that they don't trust their 17 and 18 year olds. By the time we were in college, we were allowed to drink at home and have friends over but def. mature enough to control the situation. My own kids are "tweens" and very responsible - I can't imagine not trusting them like this - obviously this is a different world (when do kids finally grow up? 30? )

[Anonymous]

PP, I'm with you. I was the poster who described herself as a nerd, and was left at home caring for my grandmother when my parents went away. I don't know -- my own kids are young. I hope I will have as much faith and trust in my kids when they are 16 as my parents had in me.