what happened to Ben Lederman- article

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And B leagues etc is a tough life of survival. More like minor league baseball. And post premier la logs etc is not an easy one either - look at wynalda.

Lederman is not a warning story it is the reality. If the kid enjoyed the journey then thats all good. Sad that the family now regrets their decision. Not a way to look back.

Honestly my point is that if you are reading these boards or articles to learn about stuff you are in a fantasy land. Get out and talk to real people. If your kid is special they’ll find him - and maybe hat is something to worry about

So many assumptions! I’d be extremely surprised if anyone is reading DCUM to get tips on how to start their kid on a pathway to the pros. That doesn’t mean it’s not interesting to talk here about issues that young pro-wannabes face on their journey. Topics like this are a welcome relief from the constant club- and kid-bashing that most of the girl player parent posters seem to prefer.

I think PP makes an equally good point noting that a discussion of Pro aspirations on DCUrban Mom message board - although par for the course on the board - is in itself humorous. Unless Claudio Reyna has recently been perusing and posting. If so a “ thanks to all the DCUrban Posters for your insight and guidance as we wrk on Gii’s journey” post is forthcoming.

I find this line of thinking strange. There are hundreds of boys playing in DA (and elsewhere) right now who reasonably believe they can go pro, and are working toward that goal. If you are in that world, you know kids who have succeeded (even if most only end up at the USL or MLS level) and others who didn’t or who gave up on the dream. Your kid does not have to be playing at Dortmund for you to find the topic interesting. I enjoy talking on DCUM about things I find interesting, whether the topic is soccer, food, family dysfunction, or AAP. I would have thought that was true for everyone here, but it sometimes seem like a lot of posters come here only to mock others.

pro in the US, maybe.

Nope - there are folks from this area who have gone pro in various countries. Not always at the highest level. And obviously most who try won't succeed. But just because it's tough and most will fail is NOT a reason not to try. Most of the men who end up playing in the EPL were not such superstars that it was always obvious they would make it. They were kids, just like hundreds of others, trying to get a spot in an academy and work their butts off to see if they could make it. There are probably a hundred or more for every one that ends up playing at the highest level. So what? Pulisic played for PA Classics - not such a glamorous background - but he made it. Of course if he had listened to you he wouldn't have bothered trying.

The problem is on the other end of the spectrum, you have so many parents believing their kid is the next star; you know the result - soccer gets ugly. Kids compete against each other on the same team, don't pass to each other, everyone wants to shine...that is the paradox of soccer at youth level, especially Canada/US. Never mind if their team travels outside the country - everyone wants to be Messi. They end up sabotaging themselves as well the rest of the team.

In the end, you have to have some element - sills, physicality, speed, smarts on the field. The rest is the luck of the draw...99.9% get to certain level and it ends there. I am not saying don't follow your dreams but you as a parent, don't look through a rose colored glass either.

What do you considered having made it - countless numbers made it, sit on the bench and collect a salary for a couple of years before they disappear in some lesser league or give up all-together. But, again, this as any other sport is tough...yes, follow your dreams, but be subjective as well throughout the process...to me, the ugly side of the soccer destroys many a dreams...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And B leagues etc is a tough life of survival. More like minor league baseball. And post premier la logs etc is not an easy one either - look at wynalda.

Lederman is not a warning story it is the reality. If the kid enjoyed the journey then thats all good. Sad that the family now regrets their decision. Not a way to look back.

Honestly my point is that if you are reading these boards or articles to learn about stuff you are in a fantasy land. Get out and talk to real people. If your kid is special they’ll find him - and maybe hat is something to worry about

So many assumptions! I’d be extremely surprised if anyone is reading DCUM to get tips on how to start their kid on a pathway to the pros. That doesn’t mean it’s not interesting to talk here about issues that young pro-wannabes face on their journey. Topics like this are a welcome relief from the constant club- and kid-bashing that most of the girl player parent posters seem to prefer.

I think PP makes an equally good point noting that a discussion of Pro aspirations on DCUrban Mom message board - although par for the course on the board - is in itself humorous. Unless Claudio Reyna has recently been perusing and posting. If so a “ thanks to all the DCUrban Posters for your insight and guidance as we wrk on Gii’s journey” post is forthcoming.

I find this line of thinking strange. There are hundreds of boys playing in DA (and elsewhere) right now who reasonably believe they can go pro, and are working toward that goal. If you are in that world, you know kids who have succeeded (even if most only end up at the USL or MLS level) and others who didn’t or who gave up on the dream. Your kid does not have to be playing at Dortmund for you to find the topic interesting. I enjoy talking on DCUM about things I find interesting, whether the topic is soccer, food, family dysfunction, or AAP. I would have thought that was true for everyone here, but it sometimes seem like a lot of posters come here only to mock others.

pro in the US, maybe.

Nope - there are folks from this area who have gone pro in various countries. Not always at the highest level. And obviously most who try won't succeed. But just because it's tough and most will fail is NOT a reason not to try. Most of the men who end up playing in the EPL were not such superstars that it was always obvious they would make it. They were kids, just like hundreds of others, trying to get a spot in an academy and work their butts off to see if they could make it. There are probably a hundred or more for every one that ends up playing at the highest level. So what? Pulisic played for PA Classics - not such a glamorous background - but he made it. Of course if he had listened to you he wouldn't have bothered trying.

The problem is on the other end of the spectrum, you have so many parents believing their kid is the next star; you know the result - soccer gets ugly. Kids compete against each other on the same team, don't pass to each other, everyone wants to shine...that is the paradox of soccer at youth level, especially Canada/US. Never mind if their team travels outside the country - everyone wants to be Messi. They end up sabotaging themselves as well the rest of the team.

In the end, you have to have some element - sills, physicality, speed, smarts on the field. The rest is the luck of the draw...99.9% get to certain level and it ends there. I am not saying don't follow your dreams but you as a parent, don't look through a rose colored glass either.

What do you considered having made it - countless numbers made it, sit on the bench and collect a salary for a couple of years before they disappear in some lesser league or give up all-together. But, again, this as any other sport is tough...yes, follow your dreams, but be subjective as well throughout the process...to me, the ugly side of the soccer destroys many a dreams...

Life destroys dreams, and most dreams never happen which is why we call them dreams.

In any event I don't think the parent should be doing anything except supporting whatever goals the kid sets for him or herself. If the kid has a dream, tell him to go for it and provide him with support and advice where you can. If he doesn't, then don't. This should be the case whatever level you happen to think your kid may be at. Even if you believe they have no chance at all, it is not the parent's job to dissuade the kid - just to pick them up when they realize it's not going to happen.

[Anonymous]

Within reason. I know a family of 5 kids where the dreams of one are affecting all of the others. And they also home school the one for the dream. And the job is only to pick up the inevitable pieces? Not sure the 4 and even the one will agree after it is all over.

[Anonymous]

Enjoy the journey. That is all I can say. Enjoy your son or daughter out on that field while you can. I know pro athletes, semi-pro, and ones who never made it (that's me). It's not always the best players who make it to the show. You can be a starter at the best club, play in college, and still not make the pros. Not just soccer, but other sports. The only reason I have any insight into this is from my grandfather. He played pro baseball. He had a short MLB career, but gave me a lot of insight into how this all works. He always said you have to respect your coach and make friends with everybody you meet along the way. They will be your ticket to the next level. He was a pitcher, but wouldn't teach me a curve ball until I was 13. You'll hurt yourself throwing a good curve ball he said. Just put throw fastballs in the zone for now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Within reason. I know a family of 5 kids where the dreams of one are affecting all of the others. And they also home school the one for the dream. And the job is only to pick up the inevitable pieces? Not sure the 4 and even the one will agree after it is all over.

Agree that one's dream must not come at the expense of the others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Enjoy the journey. That is all I can say. Enjoy your son or daughter out on that field while you can. I know pro athletes, semi-pro, and ones who never made it (that's me). It's not always the best players who make it to the show. You can be a starter at the best club, play in college, and still not make the pros. Not just soccer, but other sports. The only reason I have any insight into this is from my grandfather. He played pro baseball. He had a short MLB career, but gave me a lot of insight into how this all works. He always said you have to respect your coach and make friends with everybody you meet along the way. They will be your ticket to the next level. He was a pitcher, but wouldn't teach me a curve ball until I was 13. You'll hurt yourself throwing a good curve ball he said. Just put throw fastballs in the zone for now.

That is pretty cool. I tell my son similar things. Learn everything you can from your coach. Some will be better than others, but if you put in the work they will be more likely to help you on your journey. Everyone knows somebody and one coach's trash is another one's treasure. Just keep working on getting better at what you do.