not doing bedtime

[Anonymous]

Op here - I’m not looking for ways to shorten as whether I’m doing bedtime stuff or not - it’s a miserable time of day with increasing whiny-ness whether I’m playing blocks or giving baths. It’s much less miserable when dh is there and we can divide and conquer but that’s not most nights. I have a baby sitter tonight and am giddy that I don’t have to get a 1 and 2 yo through the last 2 hours of the day today. It just got me thinking about whether other people get breaks from doing it and daydreaming about that future life

[Anonymous]

I’m a SAHM and do it every night. I have a toddler and two elementary kids. The toddler gets a bath and read and lay down with her until she falls asleep. Then I go read and cuddle the older two individually.

It gets more enjoyable OP. It is my favorite part of the day now. This is the time my older kids have my private undivided attention. They talk to me more in the short time than they do all day. It is sweet and I’m savoring it. I’m not sure how much longer they will want to be read to and cuddled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a SAHM and do it every night. I have a toddler and two elementary kids. The toddler gets a bath and read and lay down with her until she falls asleep. Then I go read and cuddle the older two individually.

It gets more enjoyable OP. It is my favorite part of the day now. This is the time my older kids have my private undivided attention. They talk to me more in the short time than they do all day. It is sweet and I’m savoring it. I’m not sure how much longer they will want to be read to and cuddled.

You never have a date night or girls night or anything?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I’m not looking for ways to shorten as whether I’m doing bedtime stuff or not - it’s a miserable time of day with increasing whiny-ness whether I’m playing blocks or giving baths. It’s much less miserable when dh is there and we can divide and conquer but that’s not most nights. I have a baby sitter tonight and am giddy that I don’t have to get a 1 and 2 yo through the last 2 hours of the day today. It just got me thinking about whether other people get breaks from doing it and daydreaming about that future life

I saw your schedule, and it looks like you could maybe shave a few minutes here and there, but I don't see anything glaring. My toddler goes into bed and does not come out, no requests or anything, but from what I gather that is a personality thing. I also count bedtime as over once they're in bed - I don't really care if they're asleep or not. But anyway, I'm a PP who said my husband shares bedtime with me everynight, and honestly I dread the rare occasion when he is gone at bedtime. I feel you. So.... why can't your husband be home for bedtime for often.....?

[Anonymous]

4 and 19 months. I am home virtually every night between 5-7 pm except for a rare happy hour or the occasional work/personal trip. My husband and I split bed time so he is usually putting the younger one to sleep and I am usually doing older one. I would say on average I miss 1 or 2 bedtimes a month outright with maybe 1 more that I get to at the tail end of.

[Anonymous]

DH and I trade off bedtime routine for 3 year old. Once every 2-3 months we have a sitter who does bedtime but I still read a story before we leave. A few times a year, family visits and DH and I go out once or twice while a grandparent does bedtime.

[Anonymous]

Honestly DH does most bedtimes. I am usually home from work for dinner with the kids tho. And I pretty much always do morning activities on weekends. By the end of the day I’m spent. I much prefer morning duty and DH much prefers bedtime duty.

[Anonymous]

I’d say I get 4-6 bedtimes a month that I’m 100% not a part of. Same for DH.

The rest of the nights we usually each do parts of bedtime. Like DH will do bath, I’ll do stories, and DH will do snuggles (5-10 minutes of cuddling). On nights when DH is getting home late, I’ll do bath and stories and DH will take over for snuggles.

I really don’t like doing bedtime snuggles. It’s a new need and I get frustrated lying down in the dark when it’s not my bedtime and I’ve got s*** to do. I much prefer early morning wake up snuggles, which DH can’t tolerate.

So I guess we split according to schedule and preferences. Tonight DH is doing bedtime while I relax. Score.

[Anonymous]

You have a 1 and 2 year old!? Of course bedtime is a challenge now! It gets easier as they get older. My 4 yo thrives on his routine now. Both dh and I strictly enforce the routine.

We alternate who does bedtime and who cleans dishes and makes lunch.

[Anonymous]

I do it most nights, maybe 1 or 2 nights off a month.

[Anonymous]

DH and I do two nights on/two nights off. The parent who is "off" walks the dog, unloads the dishwasher and makes lunches for the following day.

[Anonymous]

SAHM and I missed one night in the first two years. 3rd year I probably missed 6 all year. This year they’re 4 and we’ve had some health issues crop up with my parents that I’ve been assuming the largest caregiver role for (my sibs aren’t local) and right now an urgent issue has me missing bedtime twice a week. I know I’m more upset than they are because they see me A LOT and I want them to see me caring for their grandparents but it’s always stressful to trust that your kids will weather the changes you’ve imposed on their routine/life.

Think I’m getting super deep because I’ve been thinking so much about my parents, mortality, etc.. in reality they probably don't even blink and love when I’m not here.. my spouse is a very fun parent!

[Anonymous]

Kids are 6 and 4. My husband and I do it together most nights. We had a live in nanny for a year which was helpful but she just got their pajamas on and maybe bathed the younger one. Usually we will do one short book together then we take turns laying with one of them. I go out with friends and miss bedtime maybe 2 times a month.

[Anonymous]

8 and 12.
Depends on the month. Some of them it is like 10 nights.

On a good and more typical month about 5 maybe?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - I was just curious how many nights you personally aren’t doing the drudgery of bedtime regardless of why or who else is doing it. I have a 1 and 2 yo and 5 nights a week i do their bedtime on my own and it’s a 1.75 hour endurance event of forced cheer. The other two nights I participate in one or both nights still. On any given day it’s fine, but by the 5th day in a row on my own I’m practically fantasizing about my sisters life (she has a 6 and 9 year old and spends tons of time with her kids but only personally does their bedtime 4 nights a week and it’s a much easier and shorter process at that stage)

Our kids are 2.5 & 6. The 6 year old takes 15-25 min including bath, teeth, stories, etc. The 2.5 is like an hour start to finish on average.

When they get to be 3 and stop napping they fall straight asleep. So it’s just about how fast the bath goes. We also start showers around 4 so that is much quicker than a bath.

I do bedtime most nights. Only miss for work events, a few times a month maybe, if that. You might just be tired at that point and out of patience. I find if I’m not tired it’s a lot more fun... and I love hanging out in bed and cuddling. Those are the sweetest moments.