How difficult is it for men to wait until marriage?

[Anonymous]

Everyone I know who waited and have a healthy sex life, got married in less than a year. Those that waited but didn’t marry if years, have crappy sex lives.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get it: you hang all the time but have never been secluded. Do that means no sex alternatives either.

What you describe is being friends with someone. Before I was married in my 20s, I had this kind of relationship with 10 guys at any time. They were friends not boyfriends.

[Anonymous]

Sex is important to a marriage, and I think it’s a very bad idea to wait.

Sex is not immoral. It’s a natural progression of a loving and desirable relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been dating a great guy for a few months now. We get along really well and he ticks all the boxes. It’s becoming serious and he will introduce me very soon to his family.

All our dates have been in public, so like restaurants, cafes, beach, parks, etc. We haven’t yet been in total seclusion yet, as I haven’t been to his place nor has he to mine. We decided to go to each other’s places once we become more formal and after introducing ourselves to each other’s families.

The thing is, on our dates, I told the guy that I’m willing to wait until marriage to have sex. He was completely fine and told me if I’m comfortable with that, he’s got no problem and is willing to wait with me as well. We can still be physical in other ways to, except sex.

However, I’m starting to think to myself how realistic is it to wait until marriage. I mean, once we start going to each other’s places and get physical, wouldn’t it be easy for things to get out of hand? Also, would guys start to get sexually frustrated and break up since they’re not getting it?

I’m just curious to know for those who waited until marriage, how did you manage to refrain from sex and wait? Am I being unrealistic in telling him to wait for approx 2-3 years until marriage or would that be impossible? How difficult is it for men to wait until marriage?

we waited until engagement and that worked for us. We celebrated our 25th anniversary last fall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Traditionally the people that waited till they were married tended to marry young.

If you are willing to wait years, it is because you have a low sex drive, or are gay. It is that simple, I am afraid.

or lack of opportunity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been dating a great guy for a few months now. We get along really well and he ticks all the boxes. It’s becoming serious and he will introduce me very soon to his family.

All our dates have been in public, so like restaurants, cafes, beach, parks, etc. We haven’t yet been in total seclusion yet, as I haven’t been to his place nor has he to mine. We decided to go to each other’s places once we become more formal and after introducing ourselves to each other’s families.

The thing is, on our dates, I told the guy that I’m willing to wait until marriage to have sex. He was completely fine and told me if I’m comfortable with that, he’s got no problem and is willing to wait with me as well. We can still be physical in other ways to, except sex.

However, I’m starting to think to myself how realistic is it to wait until marriage. I mean, once we start going to each other’s places and get physical, wouldn’t it be easy for things to get out of hand? Also, would guys start to get sexually frustrated and break up since they’re not getting it?

I’m just curious to know for those who waited until marriage, how did you manage to refrain from sex and wait? Am I being unrealistic in telling him to wait for approx 2-3 years until marriage or would that be impossible? How difficult is it for men to wait until marriage?

Again:
How old are you both?

[Anonymous]

You will be unrealistic expecting to wait for more than a third date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You will be unrealistic expecting to wait for more than a third date.

Speak for yourself. What's the rush for? Your entitlement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone I know who waited and have a healthy sex life, got married in less than a year. Those that waited but didn’t marry if years, have crappy sex lives.

How do you know that? Do you have a questionnaire or do you actually do field observations?

[Anonymous]

Never considered it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone I know who waited and have a healthy sex life, got married in less than a year. Those that waited but didn’t marry if years, have crappy sex lives.

+1

My husband waited for me (not a virgin, just Rulesy), but he also proposed in ~4 months and we were married 6 months later. We did not engage in all-but-PIV, only light kissing. His sex drive is ridiculously high and we are at least 4-5 times a week.

Waiting til marriage and *years* of dating are fundamentally opposite philosophies which cannot normally occupy the same space at the same time. If he takes longer than 6 months to propose, he is almost certainly gay, impotent, or involved with other women/pornography.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're close to 30. Most people date for less than a year before getting engaged and then another year or so right Er married. Since everyone is an adult. From what I hear and myself most have sex about 3 months in or so and that's on the long side. Sexual compatibility is such a big thing in my opinion that it's important to sort it out before marriage commitment.

3 months? Try 3 dates. Why would I wait 3 months.

[Anonymous]

imo if you’re orgasming in the same room, you’re having sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:imo if you’re orgasming in the same room, you’re having sex.

Lol jk there is no way she is having one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is driving this? Your original post says you’re “willing” to wait until marriage, and that he said he’s “willing” to wait with you. So who is it that actually wants to wait until marriage, and why isn’t that person owning that preference?

This.