Daycare and Naps

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op we had a similar problem when we started at a center and moved my son at 6 months to a small in home daycare and it was night and day change for naps. First the home daycare had a separate room for naps so it was actually quiet during naptime and since it’s mixed age there was a rhythm to the day more than the center that was just following individual infant schedules all over the place. That seemed to really help my son. Second because it was mixed ages (a few kids more toddler age) I found the caregivers had way more bandwidth to give individual attention to the infants because the toddlers were happily playing and just didn’t require such intensive 1:1. In the infant room in the center the ratios were the same but each infant had so many needs it felt like most time was spent just meeting basic needs.

I’m certainly not advocating making a change because that would be silly of me since I know so little of the situation, but wanted to share my experience in case it’s helpful as it’s still easy to switch at this age. I remember that intense stress of feeling my baby wasn’t getting sleep and it made going to work so much harder.

Thank you. We’ve toyed with the idea of sending her to an in home daycare. We were told by other family members that “centers” are provide better learning than in home daycares. But every child is different.

An in-home isn't going to be better able to rock a baby to sleep. The ratios are the same, sometimes worse with floaters at centers. And I do agree with your relative that centers tend to be better once you start caring about older kids learning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op we had a similar problem when we started at a center and moved my son at 6 months to a small in home daycare and it was night and day change for naps. First the home daycare had a separate room for naps so it was actually quiet during naptime and since it’s mixed age there was a rhythm to the day more than the center that was just following individual infant schedules all over the place. That seemed to really help my son. Second because it was mixed ages (a few kids more toddler age) I found the caregivers had way more bandwidth to give individual attention to the infants because the toddlers were happily playing and just didn’t require such intensive 1:1. In the infant room in the center the ratios were the same but each infant had so many needs it felt like most time was spent just meeting basic needs.

I’m certainly not advocating making a change because that would be silly of me since I know so little of the situation, but wanted to share my experience in case it’s helpful as it’s still easy to switch at this age. I remember that intense stress of feeling my baby wasn’t getting sleep and it made going to work so much harder.

Thank you. We’ve toyed with the idea of sending her to an in home daycare. We were told by other family members that “centers” are provide better learning than in home daycares. But every child is different.

An in-home isn't going to be better able to rock a baby to sleep. The ratios are the same, sometimes worse with floaters at centers. And I do agree with your relative that centers tend to be better once you start caring about older kids learning.

Our in home daycare did rock and hold my baby to go to sleep. There were only 2 or 3 (depended on the day- many days it was just my child and one other girl the same age in the baby group ) infants. There was a provider and assistant amd ge was very attached to them. Our in home wasn’t cheap for an in home and there was a wait list but it was worth it to us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, totally normal for you to want your child to sleep better during the day. Is her lack of naps impacting her welfare overall? I'm a STM and also have a 7 month old currently at a center. On a good day she naps 1 hour. When she's with me on the weekends, it's closer to 3 hours during the day. I experienced the same thing with my now 3 yr old - she never napped at day care. Sometimes she would get 15 minutes.

She's fine now, and I think your child will be, too. If you don't think this is adequate, you need more individualized care, which you will only find with a nanny.

OP here. Thanks for the words of encouragement. She’s currently teething and sick so she was up ALL night last night. I just wanted her to get some rest at some point today. BTW: your daughter sounds like mine. Naps great at home, but only sleeps for about 30 minutes or less for each nap at the center.

If she is sick, why is she going to daycare? When kids are sick they prefer their parents to hold and cuddle them. Definitely need to work on self soothing. Even with 2 teachers and 6 kids imagine if each parent requested holding/rocking/soothing their child to sleep. If you want more individualized care you need to hire a nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op we had a similar problem when we started at a center and moved my son at 6 months to a small in home daycare and it was night and day change for naps. First the home daycare had a separate room for naps so it was actually quiet during naptime and since it’s mixed age there was a rhythm to the day more than the center that was just following individual infant schedules all over the place. That seemed to really help my son. Second because it was mixed ages (a few kids more toddler age) I found the caregivers had way more bandwidth to give individual attention to the infants because the toddlers were happily playing and just didn’t require such intensive 1:1. In the infant room in the center the ratios were the same but each infant had so many needs it felt like most time was spent just meeting basic needs.

I’m certainly not advocating making a change because that would be silly of me since I know so little of the situation, but wanted to share my experience in case it’s helpful as it’s still easy to switch at this age. I remember that intense stress of feeling my baby wasn’t getting sleep and it made going to work so much harder.

Thank you. We’ve toyed with the idea of sending her to an in home daycare. We were told by other family members that “centers” are provide better learning than in home daycares. But every child is different.

My at home daycare provider was amazing about getting my baby, later toddler to sleep. There was a separate, quiet room. When my kid was a toddler, she would tell me about how daycare provider rubbed her back while she fell asleep. I think she could actually do this for two kids at a time! She had two littles, one older child and was licensed. Just wonderful!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, totally normal for you to want your child to sleep better during the day. Is her lack of naps impacting her welfare overall? I'm a STM and also have a 7 month old currently at a center. On a good day she naps 1 hour. When she's with me on the weekends, it's closer to 3 hours during the day. I experienced the same thing with my now 3 yr old - she never napped at day care. Sometimes she would get 15 minutes.

She's fine now, and I think your child will be, too. If you don't think this is adequate, you need more individualized care, which you will only find with a nanny.

OP here. Thanks for the words of encouragement. She’s currently teething and sick so she was up ALL night last night. I just wanted her to get some rest at some point today. BTW: your daughter sounds like mine. Naps great at home, but only sleeps for about 30 minutes or less for each nap at the center.

If she is sick, why is she going to daycare? When kids are sick they prefer their parents to hold and cuddle them. Definitely need to work on self soothing. Even with 2 teachers and 6 kids imagine if each parent requested holding/rocking/soothing their child to sleep. If you want more individualized care you need to hire a nanny

Clarifying: since this teething thing began, she’s had a runny nose. That’s what I consider to be a sick. That’s it. When she’s unwell, like a fever or extreme cough, she goes to the doctor and stays home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, totally normal for you to want your child to sleep better during the day. Is her lack of naps impacting her welfare overall? I'm a STM and also have a 7 month old currently at a center. On a good day she naps 1 hour. When she's with me on the weekends, it's closer to 3 hours during the day. I experienced the same thing with my now 3 yr old - she never napped at day care. Sometimes she would get 15 minutes.

She's fine now, and I think your child will be, too. If you don't think this is adequate, you need more individualized care, which you will only find with a nanny.

OP here. Thanks for the words of encouragement. She’s currently teething and sick so she was up ALL night last night. I just wanted her to get some rest at some point today. BTW: your daughter sounds like mine. Naps great at home, but only sleeps for about 30 minutes or less for each nap at the center.

If she is sick, why is she going to daycare? When kids are sick they prefer their parents to hold and cuddle them. Definitely need to work on self soothing. Even with 2 teachers and 6 kids imagine if each parent requested holding/rocking/soothing their child to sleep. If you want more individualized care you need to hire a nanny

Clarifying: since this teething thing began, she’s had a runny nose. That’s what I consider to be a sick. That’s it. When she’s unwell, like a fever or extreme cough, she goes to the doctor and stays home.

Sick means.... sick. Ill. Shouldn't be at daycare. A runny nose with teething isn't sick.

Most daycares don't do the individual level of care you're looking for. You should have prepared her or found a nanny.

Now you need to decide how to handle it. Either let her adjust to group care or get her a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, totally normal for you to want your child to sleep better during the day. Is her lack of naps impacting her welfare overall? I'm a STM and also have a 7 month old currently at a center. On a good day she naps 1 hour. When she's with me on the weekends, it's closer to 3 hours during the day. I experienced the same thing with my now 3 yr old - she never napped at day care. Sometimes she would get 15 minutes.

She's fine now, and I think your child will be, too. If you don't think this is adequate, you need more individualized care, which you will only find with a nanny.

OP here. Thanks for the words of encouragement. She’s currently teething and sick so she was up ALL night last night. I just wanted her to get some rest at some point today. BTW: your daughter sounds like mine. Naps great at home, but only sleeps for about 30 minutes or less for each nap at the center.

If she is sick, why is she going to daycare? When kids are sick they prefer their parents to hold and cuddle them. Definitely need to work on self soothing. Even with 2 teachers and 6 kids imagine if each parent requested holding/rocking/soothing their child to sleep. If you want more individualized care you need to hire a nanny

Clarifying: since this teething thing began, she’s had a runny nose. That’s what I consider to be a sick. That’s it. When she’s unwell, like a fever or extreme cough, she goes to the doctor and stays home.

Sick means.... sick. Ill. Shouldn't be at daycare. A runny nose with teething isn't sick.

Most daycares don't do the individual level of care you're looking for. You should have prepared her or found a nanny.

Now you need to decide how to handle it. Either let her adjust to group care or get her a nanny.

I agree. You need to understand that your child is now in group care and they can’t rock her to sleep. This is a habit they need to break quickly. Imagine if they had to do that for all the babies in their care, how would they ever care for everyone? Usually rocking kids to sleep is not a one minute activity it is several minutes and they can’t take care of all the babies if the rocking yours. Your baby will either have to adjust. If you want to really help your baby you need to stop rocking him to sleep at home as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Thank you. We’ve toyed with the idea of sending her to an in home daycare. We were told by other family members that “centers” are provide better learning than in home daycares. But every child is different.

Your seventh month old doesn't need to be "learning." I think you should consider an in-home daycare or nanny with more personalized, affectionate attention for your baby.

[Anonymous]

What is a FTM? Full time mom?

[Anonymous]

Normally daycare workers do help kids fall asleep. When I worked in one with 2 year olds, we had 12 kids between two teachers. We rubbed backs, rocked kids to sleep and whatever was needed.

[Anonymous]

I’ve had my kids in both in home daycares and centers and both have their pros and cons. My first kid wasn’t a great napper at daycare or home, but daycare was also an adjustment for me. I distinctly remember one of the providers sighing and calling me a first time mom. But really, the issue was communication. Once I understood the flow of their day we changed our morning schedule to get the kid their a little earlier. Anyway, you might ask the provider their thoughts on getting your kid to nap. Sometimes they have ideas or small tweaks that might help. Or if you otherwise like them, you might have to accept that naps won’t be great. For what it’s worth, in my opinion, what I look for in a daycare for a kid < 18 months is different than what I’d look for for an older kid. But all things being equal, I’d rather not change providers.

[Anonymous]

Daycare centers usually do help kids fall asleep. My daughter has been in daycare since she was 10 months old; she's now 3 and is in their preschool program.

She's never been a terrific napper at daycare, but the teachers have always been willing to help, whether it's making sure she has a blanket or lovey, making sure she's not around friends she might talk to, or even laying with her (which her amazing teacher in the 2yo class did).

Now that she's 3 and can handle a day without a nap, I don't expect them to help as much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Thank you. We’ve toyed with the idea of sending her to an in home daycare. We were told by other family members that “centers” are provide better learning than in home daycares. But every child is different.

At 7 months of age "better learning" shouldn't really be a concern.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's unreasonable for you to ask your daycare teachers to help with naps. This is their job; you are paying for their services and they also want to help your child! We have found success with most of the teachers by stating our goal, explaining why it's important, making suggestions of how that goal could be accomplished but also empowering them to achieve that goal however they see fit. For example "We'd really like our daughter to get x amount of naps/naptime per day. This is important to us because her doctor has recommended this/we think it would improve her night sleep/she is not awake enough when we get home to eat dinner/etc. At home for naps we do xyz at abc times, but if you find a better way to put her down/there is a different classroom schedule, please let us know and we can try that at home."

Our son started daycare at 3.5 months - before that he'd napped in his crib at home 4 times a day but once he was in daycare where there was noise and excitement, he really struggled with naps (understandably). For the first couple of weeks one of his teachers (in a normal infant room in a large center daycare in DC, i.e. 8 kids and 2 teachers) would hold him FOR THE ENTIRE NAP (2-3 30 minute naps each day), without us asking (or even knowing, I found out after two weeks and it made me really appreciate his teachers!). Over time we've communicated with the teachers and worked with our son on weekends to get him to improve his daytime. Now my son (10 months old) takes two hour-90 minute naps at daycare each day. They usually put him in his crib and pat his back until he is close to sleep at roughly the same times every day (we are on a largely baby-led schedule still on weekends but at school they're a little more consistent with nap start times). We've never done sleep training for naps, at home or in daycare. I've been there during the day and they have a different nap routine for each child - some are easy to put down and others need more effort but generally they are able to meet each child's needs in time. And sometimes he has an off day refuses a nap even though they try a couple of times and we say thanks to the teachers for trying so hard and move on with our lives!


p.s. Every parent using full time daycare because they work sends their kids in with sniffles/coughs etc. Otherwise you'd be paying for daycare and never sending your kid there! Your child is just getting all the minor illnesses now instead of kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op we had a similar problem when we started at a center and moved my son at 6 months to a small in home daycare and it was night and day change for naps. First the home daycare had a separate room for naps so it was actually quiet during naptime and since it’s mixed age there was a rhythm to the day more than the center that was just following individual infant schedules all over the place. That seemed to really help my son. Second because it was mixed ages (a few kids more toddler age) I found the caregivers had way more bandwidth to give individual attention to the infants because the toddlers were happily playing and just didn’t require such intensive 1:1. In the infant room in the center the ratios were the same but each infant had so many needs it felt like most time was spent just meeting basic needs.

I’m certainly not advocating making a change because that would be silly of me since I know so little of the situation, but wanted to share my experience in case it’s helpful as it’s still easy to switch at this age. I remember that intense stress of feeling my baby wasn’t getting sleep and it made going to work so much harder.

Thank you. We’ve toyed with the idea of sending her to an in home daycare. We were told by other family members that “centers” are provide better learning than in home daycares. But every child is different.

My at home daycare provider was amazing about getting my baby, later toddler to sleep. There was a separate, quiet room. When my kid was a toddler, she would tell me about how daycare provider rubbed her back while she fell asleep. I think she could actually do this for two kids at a time! She had two littles, one older child and was licensed. Just wonderful!

I'm the original pp (the other two who posted their similar experience are different), but I want to address the learning part. It is of course up to the parent, but in my opinion and from my experience in child development, the most essential and important thing for babies 0-2 is consistent, warm, and loving care. Babies learn through that relationship to their caregiver and it is best if during the day there is 1-2 who learn their needs and know how to respond. This can be hard in centers though in good ones they assign babies to one person and try their best to stick with it. I completely agree with others that in later years, a center is more preferable. We will be moving my son at 2.5 to a center more preschool like environment. That is what most of the kids do in his home daycare and most I know. But these two years with consistent caregivers has been invaluable in my opinion. I'm seeing it again now that we are potty training, it's much easier there then my friend's in a center because he only has two options of people he needs to tell when he has to go to the potty.

I would personally not make a decision to keep a baby in a center where they are having immense difficulty getting sleep if the reason is solely for learning. Learning is difficult without sleep. I am not saying you shouldn't stick it out - things will be fine if you do, baby will adjust or will eventually grow older and need more sleep and move to the higher age rooms where naptime is more consistent. it's all okay but just wanted to address the learning piece because I think that's a pretty big misconception. Centers look more shiny, but when it comes to infant care, a solid, reputable, caring home daycare can be a wonderful place (like anything they aren't all created equal of course).