My MIL refuses to spell grandchild's name correctly

[Anonymous]

Refer to her as a slightly different version of her grandmother name. “Oh Anne Claire, tell Granny (instead of Grammy) thank you for the gift!” And write it that way on cards.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It's not actually even the spelling - it's the spacing. Our daughter has a double-barreled first name, each name is quite short and only 1 syllable, so it is something like Anne Claire. I understand that this is not to everyones taste but it's what we named her and we love it. To those wondering, we never have had any issues with official forms, schools just calling her just Anne, etc. It is a two syllable name made up of two names that are, for most people, easily recognizable, spelled, and pronounced. It has been a total non issues except that my husband's mom always spells it AnneClaire. Gets things embroidered with AnneClaire, spells it like that in cards, etc. My husband always "reminds" (in quote, because I can't imagine she doesn't realize what she is doing) how our daughter's name is written, but she has yet to make any changes. I just ignore it and don't react (I assume she is looking for some sort of reaction from me?) but it's so odd that she insists on continuing to do this. Anyone else have a similar issue?

The space makes her — and everyone else — think it is a first name, middle name.

So? Many people go by first name and middle name.

I don’t know anyone who goes by their first AND middle names.

Well, then I guess no one does! lol

NP. You said “many people” do this. That’s incorrect.

I can think of numerous pop songs immortalizing women with double barreled names (e.g., Barbra Ann, Mary Jane). I don’t think it’s as common as it was fifty or sixty years ago, but many people do it.

Lisa Marie Presley
Lou Diamond Phillips (nee Lou Diamond Upchurch)
Sarah Jessica Parker

There are a lot of people who do this.

[Anonymous]

It’s a micro aggression because she is not a fan of the name or you perhaps

[Anonymous]

I'd do a passive aggressive thing like your MIL just to pi*s you off. I am way over done with fashionable spacing and naming of kids. You deserve it for being a fashionable, have to stand out in some way losers.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It's not actually even the spelling - it's the spacing. Our daughter has a double-barreled first name, each name is quite short and only 1 syllable, so it is something like Anne Claire. I understand that this is not to everyones taste but it's what we named her and we love it. To those wondering, we never have had any issues with official forms, schools just calling her just Anne, etc. It is a two syllable name made up of two names that are, for most people, easily recognizable, spelled, and pronounced. It has been a total non issues except that my husband's mom always spells it AnneClaire. Gets things embroidered with AnneClaire, spells it like that in cards, etc. My husband always "reminds" (in quote, because I can't imagine she doesn't realize what she is doing) how our daughter's name is written, but she has yet to make any changes. I just ignore it and don't react (I assume she is looking for some sort of reaction from me?) but it's so odd that she insists on continuing to do this. Anyone else have a similar issue?

The space makes her — and everyone else — think it is a first name, middle name.

So? Many people go by first name and middle name.

I don’t know anyone who goes by their first AND middle names.

Well, then I guess no one does! lol

NP. You said “many people” do this. That’s incorrect.

I can think of numerous pop songs immortalizing women with double barreled names (e.g., Barbra Ann, Mary Jane). I don’t think it’s as common as it was fifty or sixty years ago, but many people do it.

Lisa Marie Presley
Lou Diamond Phillips (nee Lou Diamond Upchurch)
Sarah Jessica Parker

There are a lot of people who do this.

Double barreled names are two first names. Not a first and a middle. Marie is not Lisa Marie’s middle name. It’s her first name. And I doubt people call Lou Diamond Phillips “Lou Diamond” when they are talking to him on an everyday basis. You haven’t proven your point at all.

[Anonymous]

Ignore

[Anonymous]

You chose an unusual name. Sounds like she hates as two names and is trying to “normalize” it to one name. That’s life when you pick an unusual name. I have weird name, people spell and say it wrong far more often than right. Such is life with weird names. She will face this a ton as an adult when introducing herself casually.

Grandma hates the name, you aren’t going to change her opinion. If it bothers your dd eventually then maybe she will speak up and grandma will modify to make her happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd do a passive aggressive thing like your MIL just to pi*s you off. I am way over done with fashionable spacing and naming of kids. You deserve it for being a fashionable, have to stand out in some way losers.

Fashionable? That’s fascinating that that your take on it. Let me introduce you to my enormous Irish family (most of whom still live in Ireland) and all the many generations of John Patricks, Mary Claires, Mary Roses, and John Pauls we have. We’ve been doing this since Christianity came to Ireland in the 5th century lady.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It's not actually even the spelling - it's the spacing. Our daughter has a double-barreled first name, each name is quite short and only 1 syllable, so it is something like Anne Claire. I understand that this is not to everyones taste but it's what we named her and we love it. To those wondering, we never have had any issues with official forms, schools just calling her just Anne, etc. It is a two syllable name made up of two names that are, for most people, easily recognizable, spelled, and pronounced. It has been a total non issues except that my husband's mom always spells it AnneClaire. Gets things embroidered with AnneClaire, spells it like that in cards, etc. My husband always "reminds" (in quote, because I can't imagine she doesn't realize what she is doing) how our daughter's name is written, but she has yet to make any changes. I just ignore it and don't react (I assume she is looking for some sort of reaction from me?) but it's so odd that she insists on continuing to do this. Anyone else have a similar issue?

The space makes her — and everyone else — think it is a first name, middle name.

So? Many people go by first name and middle name.

I don’t know anyone who goes by their first AND middle names.

Well, then I guess no one does! lol

NP. You said “many people” do this. That’s incorrect.

I can think of numerous pop songs immortalizing women with double barreled names (e.g., Barbra Ann, Mary Jane). I don’t think it’s as common as it was fifty or sixty years ago, but many people do it.

Lisa Marie Presley
Lou Diamond Phillips (nee Lou Diamond Upchurch)
Sarah Jessica Parker

There are a lot of people who do this.

Double barreled names are two first names. Not a first and a middle. Marie is not Lisa Marie’s middle name. It’s her first name. And I doubt people call Lou Diamond Phillips “Lou Diamond” when they are talking to him on an everyday basis. You haven’t proven your point at all.

I guess it depends on what you mean by "go by," and how important it is to you to establish whether this ever happens or not. I support you in your quest for finding the exact right answer for you.

[Anonymous]

Toss out the “gifts”. If she asks where they are say you had to toss them because they were not spelled correctly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd do a passive aggressive thing like your MIL just to pi*s you off. I am way over done with fashionable spacing and naming of kids. You deserve it for being a fashionable, have to stand out in some way losers.

Fashionable? That’s fascinating that that your take on it. Let me introduce you to my enormous Irish family (most of whom still live in Ireland) and all the many generations of John Patricks, Mary Claires, Mary Roses, and John Pauls we have. We’ve been doing this since Christianity came to Ireland in the 5th century lady.

I'm guessing you are op? You sound insufferable and pretentious.

[Anonymous]

Multiple names are a sign of trying to hard to impress. That is why they were invented by aristocracy. You really are too snobby for my taste. Your mil agrees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not actually even the spelling - it's the spacing. Our daughter has a double-barreled first name, each name is quite short and only 1 syllable, so it is something like Anne Claire. I understand that this is not to everyones taste but it's what we named her and we love it. To those wondering, we never have had any issues with official forms, schools just calling her just Anne, etc. It is a two syllable name made up of two names that are, for most people, easily recognizable, spelled, and pronounced. It has been a total non issues except that my husband's mom always spells it AnneClaire. Gets things embroidered with AnneClaire, spells it like that in cards, etc. My husband always "reminds" (in quote, because I can't imagine she doesn't realize what she is doing) how our daughter's name is written, but she has yet to make any changes. I just ignore it and don't react (I assume she is looking for some sort of reaction from me?) but it's so odd that she insists on continuing to do this. Anyone else have a similar issue?

The space makes her — and everyone else — think it is a first name, middle name.

So? Many people go by first name and middle name.

Not really. Her second first name will be mistaken for her last since there is no hyphen.

[Anonymous]

OP, don't spin this about "intentions". If she's still doing it when you daughter's old enough to notice, don't stop her from saying, "Grandma you're spelling my name wrong!". That will embarrass Grandma. Or not. It will be their relationship she harms. You don't have to protect your child from this. Meanwhile, no one is obligated to display gifts. A gift does not need to be displayed, for any reason. You may know you don't like it because the name is wrong. Whatever. You are entitled to a preference without a reason.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like grandma is doing it on purpose, but I have a name like this and many monogrammed/labeled things get made incorrectly (college diploma, for example).