"I want to live with Dad!"

[Anonymous]

BTDT OP, just document everything and keep doing what you are doing.

I remember one time getting an email from school berating me because my elementary schooler showed up at school exhausted, wan, etc. I replied in writing, "Sorry to hear it. As you know last night was the Super Bowl and my child was with her dad. We can only imagine what time dad put her to bed. Thank you for letting me know."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A close friend of mine was in the same situation as you OP. At 16 her daughter moved in with her dad. It didn't go great but daughter was too proud and stubborn to admit it and stuck by dad. Through her twenties daughter still stuck by dad although her relationship with my friend improved. It wasn't until her early thirties that her daughter finally talked about it openly. She knew dad's faults all along but was also really angry at her mom (my friend) and felt my friend had spend way too much energy fighting her dad and trying to get daughter to see who dad really was. She felt caught in the middle and felt that if she took mom's side, dad might just walk away but if she took dad's side, mom would still stick around.

THIS. Never try to make your kids choose, it will backfire. Just be the best parent you can and eventually it will probably, hopefully pay off.

[Anonymous]

"I understand. I wanted to live with him too, but he said no."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do women have kids with these losers? What positive things you saw in this man that you decided he was marriage material or would be a great dad?

The uninitiated always make this comment and it pisses me off so much. I married a grown ass man who had a steady job, went to the dentist, got his vaccinations, ate regularly, brushed his teeth, owned a home and did his own laundry. Sure he liked to have fun but he also changed his oil and paid his mortgage. I had NO reason to believe he would be such a terrible parent. As in not dispensing prescribed medicines, not brushing teeth, not enforcing bed times or homework, etc. etc. Adulting is hard but manageable; parenting is a whole nother level of hard and NOT FUN. It's much more fun to be "Uncle Dad".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to my friend. She lost full custody of her kids because after the age of 12 they get to decide where they live and never have to see you ever again. She hasn’t seen her kids in 5 months. They are 12 and 14. So sad she was a stay at home mom as well who lost all child support. Now her home is in foreclosure.

It is wrong to give kids that much power but once you divorce you do not have the luxRy to sah. She would have lost the house at 18 if her only income was child support. More to that story.

Agreed. Thats probably why dad fought for full custody. She gave him a huge incentive to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This happened to my friend. She lost full custody of her kids because after the age of 12 they get to decide where they live and never have to see you ever again. She hasn’t seen her kids in 5 months. They are 12 and 14. So sad she was a stay at home mom as well who lost all child support. Now her home is in foreclosure.

It is wrong to give kids that much power but once you divorce you do not have the luxRy to sah. She would have lost the house at 18 if her only income was child support. More to that story.

Agreed. Thats probably why dad fought for full custody. She gave him a huge incentive to do so.

Child support is for the kids not her.